fourstrings | i like to keep my issues strong

i like to keep my issues strong

[ Apparently he universe doesn't care when someone could really use a break; if it needs saving, it's gonna continue to need saving until somebody does something about it. Right now that somebody is them, so Shiro is extra tense until he can finally chisel out a moment of calm.

He's dimly aware how selfish that is. Being frustrated and edgy until he can get a proper moment to check on Keith seems incredibly greedy, considering what Keith went through to put Shiro so on edge in the first place. But he's learned how to channel unhelpful emotions into helpful action, and he's still in that mindset when he settles his hand between Keith's shoulder blades and steers the pair of them toward a bathroom. Not the showers they all hose off in after a mission, but a real bathroom with a bath the size of a hot tub - the Castle of Lions is a castle, after all, as Allura had said when she slyly tipped Shiro off to its existence. ]

Come on.

[ With anyone else, he might say: we should talk. Or: you need a break. The first would make Keith assume the worst, make him clam up or run, and the second would only bring out a denial and have him run in a different way, throwing himself into something to prove he doesn't need a break, that he's still strong, that he can be good enough.

Keith's always been good enough to Shiro, which is why he says none of those things. He just lets the door open and close for them, wraps his arms around Keith and holds him, grateful for the fact that he's still here and filled with so much pride and concern that the weight of it could bring him to his knees. ]

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[ shiro's being careful with him, but it still makes keith hiss when shiro pulls off his shirt and then the dressing underneath. a healing pod would've been a better way to handle it, sure, but. the idea of being trapped alone in one with nothing left to do but think? it had rattled keith, and he hadn't actually been able to force himself long enough to climb inside a pod and let it work.

so he's grateful when shiro skips the argument entirely, breathing out a little sigh of relief and tipping his head to one side obediently when the other man picks up the canister of goo. and it's a surprise when the stuff that shiro smoothes over him doesn't even hurt -- if anything, the pain lessens almost immediately, enough for keith to be able to roll his shoulder tentatively without an answering stab of protest. it's... actually a little incredible, and he can't resist the urge to reach up and prod at it gently with his other hand to admire the fact that it's already closed and scarred over.

... more proof that he's a dumbass for not letting shiro help him in the first place.

but that next bit has him quirking an eyebrow, one corner of his mouth threatening to tug up into a little smile. ] ... right, because I totally forgot about the terrible injury that won't let me take my pants off on my own.

[ Okay, maybe that was a little too sincere. Unfortunately, Shiro is undeterred, and even more unfortunately he massively overcorrects and dials the flirting up to eleven, letting his hands settle over Keith's hips and his fingers trail around the waistband.

He tries hard not to let himself think about Keith's waist just above it, how small it is, how Shiro can nearly close his hands around it. He's here to look after Keith, not throw him on the floor and beg for it.

Still. ]

That bad, huh? It's worse than I thought. This is urgent.

[ And he tugs Keith closer by his waistband, pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth as he thumbs open the button of Keith's jeans. ]

[ honestly, there's probably something a little magical about shiro when he's able to get a laugh after keith after everything he's been through. but keith can't help it -- he snorts a little laugh as shiro crowds in against him and pops the button on his jeans, glad that he can lift his arms because it lets him slide them around shiro's broad shoulders. ]

Good thing Shiro the hero is here. [ leaning up on the balls of his feet, nosing affectionately against shiro's cheek. ] I've got the most qualified guy on the job.

Oh, skill's only half the equation. You have to really want it.

[ Keith's laughter is a balm, soothing the knot of worry that sits in Shiro's chest. It's good to have him close, good to feel his arms around him this way, better yet to see him happy. He leans in for another very brief, chaste kiss before he tugs Keith's zipper open and drops to peel down those tight jeans and guide Keith's feet out of his boots. ]

Luckily, I'm the best at that part, too. Nobody else even comes close.

[ keith is comfortable enough with shiro that there's no real embarrassment about having shiro carefully peel him out of his jeans -- it's not even the first time one of them has helped the other out of clothing after a hard battle and a set of fresh injuries, and there's something warmly reassuring about the ritual that keith craves. he doesn't even know if shiro is putting this much weight on it, but... it's nice to have him here, proving that he still has keith's back with every warm touch, and keith is so stupidly grateful for the kindness that he thinks there might be a real danger of crying again.

so he distracts himself by looking out over the steaming bath water, blinking back the stinging at the corner of his eyes and making light of the whole thing. ] Best at wanting me? Or just wanting to take people's pants off?

Figure we better make that part clear.

Oh, I'll make it clear.

[ It feels good, to be like this. Close and warm and joking, after everything. The suit can latch on to hopes and fears, that's what Kolivan had said, and that hologram - it had walked away from Keith, like it was easy. Like he was nothing.

Shiro sits back on his heels for a moment and just... looks up. At Keith. Beautiful, brave, strong, but also skittish and easily wounded, when it comes to his heart. It hurts, to know he fears that - but it's also a comfort to know that the thing Keith fears most from Shiro is something Shiro will never do. He leans in to press a soft kiss to one pale thigh, then stands and pats Keith on the butt. ]

Go on, get in.

[ for a minute, keith thinks about protesting long enough to insist on taking shiro's clothes off, but... honestly? the hot water is tempting, and he's okay with being spoiled (just a little bit longer). so he leans in for one last (lingering) kiss before he moves to obey.

and sliding into the hot water is enough to draw a little moan out of him, feeling almost like he's been transported straight to heaven. every ache in his body slowly unwinds in response to the heat -- he goes boneless almost immediately and lets himself sink all the way down into the water, submerging himself like a lazy alligator.

oh, wait, hang on, he needs his mouth to express this next bit: ]

Have I told you I love you? 'cause I love you, Shiro. I really love you, even though you're just telling me about this now.

[ Okay, initially Shiro's plan had been to sit at the side of the bath and gently rub Keith over with a washcloth, but Keith immediately sinks low enough into the water that it's not really a viable option anymore. Which is just fine, because when Keith moans that way Shiro suddenly wants nothing more than to be in there with him. He makes indecently short work of stripping out of his own remaining clothes, but he's still got the presence of mind to grab one of those washcloths before he slips into the huge tub alongside Keith. ]

That good, huh? I'm surprised Allura didn't keep this secret to herself. I wouldn't have wanted to share this.

[ And then he inches closer and, in a moment of boldness - Keith just said he loves him, after all - pulls Keith close to lean his back against Shiro's chest and starts gently moving the cloth over Keith's limbs under the water. ]

Except with the most charming and handsome man I know, of course.

[ the only thing that could possibly make this bath better? being settled with his back to shiro's chest, able to lean against him and relax a little more into the water without any risk of sliding all the way under and drowning.

headlines all across the universe: voltron paladin drowns due to ultra-awesome-bath-relaxation.

and he can't manage to come up with something appropriately charming in response; it's a miracle that he manages more than a happy little grunt. ]

... not lance.

[ fortunately, ragging on lance doesn't take too many braincells. ]

[ Shiro snorts elegantly, and keeps the cloth gliding over Keith's skin. ]

Definitely not Lance.

[ It's a few moments more before he speaks again, just enjoying the quiet; the feeling of Keith relaxed and easy against him, the soft curls of steam in the air, the sounds of their breathing and the gentle movement of the water. The quiet is good, and he knows how easily Keith embarrasses, but -there are things that he feels need saying. ]

I'm proud of you. I was terrified for you, but you fought with more fire and determination than anyone I've ever seen. You never gave up. Even at the end, you didn't quit. You ended it on your own terms.

Don't get me wrong, I never want to see you in a situation like that again, but - you were amazing, Keith.

[ truth be told, he's almost dozing when shiro speaks again. not really because he's tired, but because the combination of the bath and shiro have him feeling so safe and warm and utterly comfortable that all his defenses are as low as they can be.

but the low rumble of shiro's voice draws him gently back into awareness, and...

oh. ]

... I had... this weird dream? Or something. During the trial. [ just thinking about it makes his heart want to break all over again, but. ] You were there, and... you told me to quit, to just give up the knife.

And when I didn't, you...

[ he pauses for a long moment, swallowing back the lump in his throat. ] ... I knew it was just a stupid dream, but... I was still scared, I guess. That it was the way you really felt.

I saw.

[ Maybe he shouldn't admit that, given that it means Keith will now know that everyone there saw, but it helps him to explain. ]

Kolivan said the suits reflect the wearers hopes and their greatest fears. So that tells me two things. The first is that you're smart enough to see through something that's pulling your fears right out of your brain and putting them on display.

The second is that I don't have to worry about your fears, because I know it'll never happen. I love you, Keith. No matter what. I'll always want to be in your life, and to have you in mine. I'll never walk away from you like that.

[ oh. well.

... that's something he'll definitely have to process later, but. ]

You don't think I'm selfish?

[ regretfully! he sits up just a little, because it seems important to turn and see shiro's face for this next bit. ] Or... that I'm always just thinking about myself?

Keith, no.

[ The washcloth is forgotten for now, left to float in the warm eddies of the bathwater as Shiro curls his arms around Keith, stroking over his skin. ]

The things we do every day, the dangers we face as the paladins of Voltron - nobody would do that if they were selfish. It's too dangerous for someone who just wanted fame, and too boring while we're traveling for an adrenaline junkie. But more than that, I know you. I know the risks you've taken just to keep me safe.

The world's given you a raw deal, Keith. You'd never give back what you do if you were only thinking of yourself. You might not always know how to say what you're feeling, but I know it's there.

You've got a good heart, Keith.

[ and then, with a little smile, knowing full well how cheesy this is - ]

That's how you stole mine.

[ it means a lot, just hearing all of that. maybe it had been easy to believe that vision of shiro because it was something keith had always been afraid of -- he struggles with communicating himself, how he feels, especially to people who aren't shiro. and sometimes he can't help but worry that it comes off in the worst of ways; sometimes it seems like too much to believe that the other paladins (and shiro most of all) accept him as warmly as they do.

... and yeah, that last bit is cheesy, but it also makes his chest fill up with so much warm and gooey love that it aches.

so he twists and wriggles until he's able to turn around and hug shiro back properly, fitting his arms around the other man's waist and snuggling into him. there's no way in hell that anything keith can say could possibly come close to matching that, so... he decides to keep it simple. ]

... thanks, Shiro. For everything. For seeing me, for believing in me...

[ and he presses a kiss to the corner of shiro's mouth for the next bit, lips turning up into a little smile. ] And for trusting me to hold onto your heart for you.

You don't need to thank me for that.

[ It's a soft thing, warm, and he uses the arms looped around Keith to hold him in place a moment and catch his mouth in a kiss, something slower and seeking.

Shiro has never been great at relationships. There was always too much to see, too much to do for him to give a partner 100% of himself. And now, on top of that - he's an amputee, scarred and with PTSD and the occasional screaming nightmare to boot. It means more to him than he can place a value on that Keith knew him before, when he was a smooth-skinned golden boy whose worst nightmares were of the arrive-naked-to-class variety, and still loves him now. And maybe because of that, it's easy for him to give Keith all of himself. To love him fully and completely, and never have to weigh it against his dreams. It helps that out here their goals are the same, but the bulk of it? It's just Keith. ]

Loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done.

[ keith sighs out as that kiss breaks, a noise that wells up from a place of sweet satisfaction. wondering if shiro could ever possibly see him the same way again after the revelation about his ancestry has been tearing keith up from the inside out ever since the trial; it's a wonderful thing to just be in shiro's arms again, to be told that he's loved and accepted and still wanted. ]

You're the best thing in my life, Shiro.

[ which is... sappy, but he means it with his whole entire heart, so it's a little easier to say. and he lifts a hand to curl the fingers of one hand at the nape of the other man's neck, pressing their foreheads together. ] I just wish...

... I wish I was better at telling you how amazing you are.

[ Shiro hums quietly at the gentle press of Keith's fingers, lets his eyes fall closed at the touch of their foreheads. ]

You do tell me. You look at me like nobody ever has before. You touch me like this, and I know. Even before we got together, when we hugged, you'd - you'd tuck your face into my shoulder, like you felt safe there. It meant so much to me, baby. Even more, now.

You look at me like I could do anything, and you make me believe it.

[ and that's it, isn't it? shiro gets him, and keith doesn't have to say a single word. ]

That's the easy part.

[ he lifts his other hand to stroke shiro's cheek, fingers tracing gently along his skin. ] You're incredible, Shiro. I've never doubted that, not for a second. There's nothing you can't do.

I'm just lucky that I get to be beside you, that I get to watch you save the universe.

Hey now.

[ It's a wonderful thing to hear, if a little embarrassing, and Shiro's cheeks pinken in a way that has nothing to do with the bathwater as he first gentles into the touch of Keith's fingers and then leans forward to press another gentle kiss to Keith's lips. ]

We're saving the universe together. That's even better, wouldn't you say?

Yeah.

[ and he doesn't let shiro pull back, wrapping his arms around the other man's shoulders and bumping their foreheads gently together. the laugh that comes out of him is wry, tinged with a hint of pain that he's trying to mask with this humor. ]

... but you might be the only one who wants to save the universe with me once the others find out about this.

[ Shiro's first impulse is to deny that's the case. His second and less charitable thought is that he'll soundly kick the ass of anyone who even thinks about giving Keith a hard time about it, but - that's not the kind of leader he's trying to be, and Keith would probably hate it. Shiro will just have to have faith; faith that the others see Keith for who he really is and won't be swayed by prejudice.

He strokes fingertips slowly along the length of Keith's spine, considering. ]

I don't think that'll be the case. We've fought together long enough now that they know who you are. They know you're as ready to fight for what's right as any of us - probably more, honestly. I think it's best if you tell them as soon as possible, so it doesn't seem like something you're hiding, but I'll be at your side when you do.

You always have so much faith in people.

[ and it's one of the things keith admires about shiro; even after everything he's been through, he still finds a way to see the good in the universe around them. and he ducks his head enough to press a kiss to one of the scars arching over shiro's shoulder at the thought, wishing he was the kind of person who could put into words just how amazing he thinks shiro is for not letting what happened to him wall him off behind bitterness and anger and fear.

keith wishes he could be more like him, sometimes. especially now. ]

... but after everything the Galra have done to Allura, I wouldn't... [ he pauses, smoothing out the little hitch in his breathing before he continues. ] ... if she wanted me to leave, I'd get it.

[ Keith has a point. It's easy for Shiro, who's know Keith for years, to see him as entirely distinct from the people who had held Shiro captive, made him fight, modified him. But Allura - Allura has lost everything to the Galra. Shiro presses his lips together a moment, his hand still tracing that lazy path along Keith's spine, and he sighs. ]

Allura's a smart woman. Even if she feels that way - and I hope that she doesn't - she'll understand that unless we can form Voltron, we'll be worth much less in the fight. I don't think she'd risk that.

[ keith drops his cheek onto shiro's shoulder, breathing out in a slow sigh. there's a part of him that wants desperately to believe what shiro is telling him, but... there's another part that expects the people in his life, the people he loves, to leave him. and once they find out he's galra, he's practically given them the perfect excuse. ]

You could find another Paladin.

I'm only here because of you, Shiro, it's not like I'm something special.

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honestly a sex face seemed appropriate?

we've all had baths like that

Re: we've all had baths like that

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