I seek the stars above worlds to be the guides

[bde]

[ Shiro’s been dancing around it for a while now. At first he’d thought it was just Keith being Keith, ferociously protective of the people he cares about because he’s lost too many of the few he’s had. But being the focus of all that attention from someone like Keith – well, it’d get to anyone. Shiro’s embarrassed at first, tries to write it off as a reaction to being touched with care after so long with physical contact as a thing to fear. Eventually he can’t deny that he’s attracted to Keith, both physically and in a deep admiration that slots in neatly alongside all the pride and affection he’d felt for the cadet he’d known before the Kerberos mission. But it’s fine; it’s not like he’s never been attracted to someone before, and there’s so much to do it’s easy to channel all his energy into it as a distraction.

It’s harder once he realizes that what Keith feels for him isn’t just dedication to an old friend. He catches Keith watching him with an intensity that makes his chest feel warm and tight, and sometimes when he puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder the younger man leans in to it like a cat getting an ear-scritch. They clasp hands and Shiro pulls Keith in to a hug, and Keith tucks his face against Shiro’s shoulder like it’s the place he feels safest. Shiro falls asleep in the lounge, just once after they’ve sunk a solid week into liberating another territory, and in the warm dim place between sleep and wake he feels Keith press a soft, dry kiss to his temple. And Shiro thinks, okay, that’s something they need to talk about, but it seems like every day there’s a new crisis and he puts it off, puts it off and puts it off, because the universe depends on them now and rushing into this risks upsetting the balance of the team in a way they can’t afford.

He wants to do this right. He wants to have a conversation, make sure that no matter what happens it doesn’t jeopardise their friendship – or jeopardise the team, which puts the whole universe at risk. He wants to talk it out and make sure they’re careful.

What he does instead is find himself brimming over with it, full to overflowing, until one day when they’re unwinding after a sparring match he just gives in, slips a hand against Keith’s cheek and leans in to kiss him. There’s a heartbeat and then Keith is kissing him back, warm and so alive -
And then the alarm sounds and Coran’s voice rings throughout the castle, informing them that there’s an emergency and the paladins need to get to their Lions now.

Helping a rebel ship being chased by Galra fighters leads to following them back to a base, which in turn leads to a protracted battle planetside, and the faintest hint of Black growling at him in the back of his mind every time his thoughts wander to Keith and the press of his lips, the slick promise of his tongue. It’s days before the fighting stops, close to a week, and even Lance’s enthusiasm over winning a battle hard-fought is reduced to a “yay us, see you in a week when I wake up” as they all head for their rooms. Sleep is something they’ve only had in snatches, stolen moments when things died down enough for the ground forces to hold the situation for a while, and by rights Shiro should be unconscious as soon as his head hits the pillow. Instead he’s restless, fidgeting in his bed, feeling like he can’t even close his eyes. A warm shower doesn’t really help, other than meaning at least now he’s restless and clean.

The only thing to do is face it head-on, then. He’s only in sweats and a tank top as he pads barefoot to Keith’s room, and he tells himself it’s because Keith will already be asleep and Shiro’s going to check and then head right back to bed, certain that there’s nothing he can do for now and maybe catch enough sleep to have this conversation alert and sensible tomorrow. At least, he thinks, he can say he tried.
He knocks. ]

Keith?

Comments

[feralistic]

[ just the simple act of shiro sliding an arm around keith's waist and drawing him flush is enough to make every bit of keith thrill in response, leaving him almost dizzy in the face of his own desire. he's never felt this way before; his attraction towards shiro is something as natural and powerful as gravity, and part of him wants to ask if shiro feels it too --

but shiro breaks the kiss abruptly, and snatches at the towel around his waist, and keith doesn't even have to ask why before he realizes that the knot has been knocked undone. he glances down at the hand shiro is using to hold it in place, then up -- the flush creeping into the other pilot's cheeks is adorable, but keith is too damn impatient to really relish the moment. if shiro is trying to take things slow on keith's behalf, keith is more than willing to clear up that misconception now.

so he nudges at shiro's hand until he gets him to turn loose of the towel, using his own to hold it up. then he presses the other hand flat against shiro's chest, pushing him gently backwards until shiro's legs hit the edge of his bed and keith can get him to sit down. there. once shiro is settled, keith lets go of the towel entirely; he feels the fabric whisper across his bare legs as it pools at his feet, and now he's left standing absolutely bare in front of the other man.

he's not the type to preen -- instead, he settles himself right over shiro's lap, one leg braced on either side of the other man's hip until he's straddling. then he leans in for another kiss, this one sweet and slow and lingering, until he finally pulls away to ask: ]

This okay? [ screw going slow for his own sake, but if shiro asked? keith would wait a lifetime to make him comfortable. ]

[bde]

[ It's easy as breathing to let Keith steer him to the bed. Easier, as it turns out, because the breathing stops when Keith lets his towel fall. There's a part of him that thinks maybe his heartbeat stops, and all he can do is watch - Keith is beautiful, so beautiful, and it's not as though Shiro's never seen him naked before but he's never been allowed to drink in the sight of him this way. It's never been for him, and that makes it something crackling and electric. And then Keith climbs over his lap, and all Shiro's mute astonishment rushes out of the room like the tide receding so he can kiss back, place his hands on that tiny waist and let them skim down over hip and thigh and back up again. ]

Keith, I don't think anything's ever been this okay in my life.

[ It's incredibly unfair that he has to take his hands off Keith in order to strip off his own top, but the feeling of his skin against Keith's when he pressed back in for another kiss is more than worth it. ]

[feralistic]

[ that answer comes out so earnestly reverent that keith is about to laugh -- and then shiro strips his own top up over his head, and the noise immediately dies in his throat. it strikes him (suddenly) that he hasn't seen shiro bare like this since his captivity at the hands of the galra, and there's a roadmap of scarring that keith doesn't remember from his time at the garrison. and while the sight of them is enough to spark a fury in keith's chest (he wants to kill every single creature who dared to lay a harmful hand on shiro, all of them), it's tempered by the realization that shiro is (by far) still the most gorgeous person keith has ever seen.

so much so that keith only lets the kiss linger for another moment or two before he breaks it again, leaning back a little so that he can drink in the sight of shiro all over again. he splays both hands across the other man's chest and feels that coil of heat at the pit of his belly tighten at the feeling of shiro's bare skin under his palms, his dick already aching even though shiro hasn't even touched him.

keith isn't much for poetry, but the sight of shiro is enough to make him understand how it gets written. someone so beautiful that simple words alone don't describe it -- you have to make people understand how they're as gorgeous as the desert sky at night, how looking at them makes you feel the way he did when he piloted red for the very first time. ]

Shiro. [ quiet, breathless, awed. he's not a poet, and he never will be, so he sums things up the best he can. ] You're amazing.

[bde]

[ Keith's hands move over his skin, the warmth and reverence in them making him shiver with need. He'd learned to be okay with his scars a long time ago, but for the first time he feels angry about them again - not because Keith is seeing them, not when he's gazing at Shiro with such a look of open want and near-reverence, but because some of them are deep enough that the nerves below are dead, robbing him of sensation. Keith is beautiful, a livewire, a miracle, and of everything the Galra had done to Shiro it's depriving him of even a tiny bit of that feeling that stings the worst.

He pulls Keith in close again, wanting to kiss him, choking a moan off in the other man's mouth when he feels the firm heat of his cock pressing into his stomach. ]

Back at you, [ he manages, low and thick. ] I want you. Can we -

[feralistic]

[ with the way shiro is touching him, it's no secret that he wants keith just as badly as keith wants him, and that fact alone is enough to drive keith half-wild with want. shiro pulls him close to kiss him again, and keith's hips stutter against shiro's stomach as his cock finds a teasing hint of friction against the other man's skin. ]

Yeah.

[ without even thinking about it. without even needing to think about it.

he kisses down along shiro's jaw, finds a sensitive bit of skin there and nips at it teasingly with his teeth. he can't get enough of shiro -- the smell of him, the taste of him, the warmth of his skin. ] Anything. Everything.

[bde]

[ Keith bites gently at his neck, and Shiro moans. All his affection and admiration for Keith has of course sat alongside the knowledge that Keith is smoking hot, but this - the way he takes control, the determination in him - it's something else. ]

God. Good.

[ He slips a hand between them, the metal one still tight on Keith's hip, and takes him in hand. Just that is like a revelation - Keith's cock in his hand, the velvety skin of him warm against Shiro's fingers, and he gives a full-body shiver just at the feel of it. ]

You have a preference? I'm flexible.

[feralistic]

[ keith gasps against shiro's throat as the other man wraps a hand around his cock, unable to resist the impulse to rock forward into his grip. he's never given much thought to size, but one quick glance down is enough to prove that shiro's hand envelops him completely, and there's something so hot about the sight that it makes keith swallow back a groan. ]

I want you to fuck me.

[ it gets blurted out before keith even has the chance to consider it properly, and his cheeks flush with color. he hadn't meant to sound that eager, but... when he'd imagined the two of them together, that had always been at the forefront of his mind. it's not like he's ever done anything like this before, so he can't exactly claim to have his preferences solidified, it's just... well.

it's not like him to be shy, but something about announcing i want your dick in me, stat has that effect on him. ]

I mean, [ uncharacteristic hesitation, eyes flitting off to the side. ] If that's okay with you.

[ like there's any hope of playing things off as casual after that. ]

[bde]

Oh, fuck.

[ It's a quiet, helpless little thing, not intended for Keith's ears so much as an involuntary exclamation. It's so bold that the sure way Keith says it makes Shiro's dick throb just as much as the thought of actually doing it -

and then he goes and qualifies it, and it's so charming that Shiro can't help laughing warmly and pulling Keith into another kiss. ]

Yeah. Yeah, more than okay. God, you're incredible.

[ He pulls Keith in for another kiss, something warm and full of wonder, and this time he can't help pressing up to grind his dick against where Keith sits in his lap. It's so good, it's all so good, that it takes a long moment for Shiro to actually start thinking about the necessary preparations. ]

Do you have anything here? For lube. I can probably find something in medical if we need to.

[feralistic]

[ the way that shiro reacts to that is definitely enough to trigger a wave of relief -- he'd probably never forgive himself if he scared shiro off by being too eager right from the start, and it's good to know he isn't the only one breathlessly excited by all of this.

and the feeling of shiro grinding his dick up against him is distracting, so it takes him a minute or two to process that question. ]

... lube? [ a little fuzzy, but. okay, it makes sense. he knows enough to use lube for jerking off (after a few unfortunate incidents of chafing when he was younger), so it figures that you'd need it for sex stuff, too. ] Yeah, hang on, it's --

[ the fact that the beds in their sleeping quarters are jammed right up against the wall is handy, because it makes for a nice hiding spot in the narrow space between the mattress and the wall. it's where he tucks everything that's either important or secret -- and lube obviously qualifies, because he digs out a small plastic bottle after a little rummaging. ] This work?

[bde]

[ As much as he wants to press ahead now that he knows what's on offer, Shiro still takes a moment to check over the bottle and (sorry, Keith) discreetly sniff the contents. It's been a while, but you only need one instance of overenthusiastic youthful hijinks to remind you forever that what's fine on your dick isn't necessarily going to feel fine up your butt. This passes muster, though, and he puts the bottle down beside them on the bed to grin at Keith. ]

Perfect. Even better, now I don't have to leave you. Get up on your knees for a second?

[ And he flushes slightly again at asking, because despite them being very clear about what they're doing here the act of removing his pants and being fully nude with Keith is so new and exciting it makes his heart pound. ]

[feralistic]

[ keith can't help but grin back, even though it's goofy for them to both be as delighted by the reveal of a little bottle of lube. but he's punchdrunk off this feeling -- of being allowed to be so close to shiro, of being allowed to kiss him and touch him and want him. it's impossible not to be happy, not when this is everything he never let himself hope that he could have.

but. ]

Wait. [ catching one of shiro's hands by the wrist. ] ... can I do it?

[ it's greedy of him, but. he wants to unwrap shiro like a present that's just for him, wants to relish in stripping everything away. ]

[bde]

Oh. I - yeah. Hell yeah, you can.

[ There's something so warming about that, about Keith wanting to undress him like he's something to be savored, and it makes Shiro bite at his lip in a way that turns his smile lopsided. He'd been a little vain when he was younger, aware of his attractiveness, maintaining a certain physique just because he liked the way it made him look, liked the way it felt to know other people liked it too. It feels like a lifetime ago that his body was more than a tool, when his muscle was an aesthetic choice rather than something necessary to balance out the modifications made to him. And now Keith is asking to undress him like it's an honor, and it makes Shiro's chest ache.

He lifts a hand to brush gently over Keith's cheek, and then just... lifts his hips obediently, full of adoration and anticipation. ]

[feralistic]

[ that hell yeah makes him grin all over again, and keith leans in to press a quick kiss to shiro's mouth before he wriggles back and gets to work. he makes quick work of the fastenings of shiro's pants, working them carefully down his legs and then tugging them off one foot at a time. and despite his eagerness, he can't help the urge to stop and admire him again. the muscles in his thighs and calves are just as defined as the rest of them; keith gives into the urge to run his hands up along the skin of shiro's inner thighs, sighing out from simply the pleasure of touching him.

but the form-fitting black boxer briefs shiro is wearing leave very little to the imagination, and already keith can see the other man's cock straining against the compression of the fabric. he may not exactly be experienced, but there are definitely a few things you pick up from locker room talk, and --

he leans down, nosing against the outline of shiro's dick through the fabric, then mouthing wetly over it. it smells like shiro here, and breathing in makes keith dizzy -- he's only thought about doing this a few times, and mostly out of some vague general plan to make shiro feel good, but now that he's here? it's almost startling how much keith wants this, too. so he hooks his fingers in the waistband of shiro's briefs, pulling down carefully until his dick springs free. and the sight is enough to make him groan, low and shameless, leaning forward to run his tongue along the slit at the head of shiro's collect to collect the pearl of come already beading there.

but. a quick glance up, gauging. ] This okay?

[ careful, feeling out boundaries as he goes. ]

[bde]

[ Just the feeling of Keith tracing his hands over the sensitive skin of his thighs is enough to make Shiro sigh and hum in pleasure. There's something magical in watching Keith do this, mapping Shiro out the way Shiro plans to learn Keith's body as soon as he gets the chance. It feels wonderful, and somehow raw and vulnerable in a way that means Shiro moans helplessly when Keith mouths at him through cloth, and again at the touch of his tongue over bare skin. ]

More than okay. God, Keith. You're gonna kill me.

[ He threads a hand into Keith's hair, regretting just a little that it's still shower-damp. He'd love to run his fingers through it, feel the fine black silk of it slipping against his skin. As it is, he just burrows deep until he feels the heat of Keith's scalp, his fingers slow and petting. ]

[feralistic]

[ it's so earnest that it makes keith laugh, his breath a warm puff against shiro's skin. ]

At least stay alive for a little while longer, okay? I don't want that kind of reputation.

[ killer blowjobs? lance would never let him hear the end of it.

but... since shiro seems like he's in remarkable good health for a man in danger of being killed at any moment, keith decides that he's probably safe to continue. so he wraps a hand around the base of shiro's dick and leans in, lapping again at the head of shiro's dick before he takes it in his mouth.

he gets... the basics of what he's supposed to do here, but the finer points are a mystery. luckily, he isn't a stranger to learning by doing, and his teachers at the garrison always applauded him for being a quick study. so he focuses his efforts at the head of shiro's cock first, suckling firmly. ]

[bde]

I wouldn't miss this for the world.

[ Maybe not sexy, but honest. The sight of Keith looking at his dick with a kind of calculated contemplation before putting it in his mouth is more than enough to kill a man, but it instantly feels so incredible that if Shiro does die right here he'll be doomed to be a ghost, haunting Keith with the unfinished business of his orgasm.

Even the way Keith's so matter of fact about it is hot. He laughs, talks back, and then just goes and pops it right in, sucking in a way that makes Shiro clench his hand in the bedsheets and fight back an immediate jerk of his hips. ]

Fuck.

[ It's slightly strangled, and followed by a breathy sort of laugh. He really is out of practice. ]

Damn, that's good.

[feralistic]

[ oh.

shiro doesn't press up into his mouth, but keith is close enough to feel the flex of his stomach as he fights the urge, and... he's almost startled by the idea that he wants him to. wonders what it would be like to let shiro fuck his mouth in earnest, whether he could take him all the way into the back of his throat.

if you'd asked him before, keith would have probably said that this whole blowjob thing was a one-sided effort to make the other person feel good, but now? there's something hot about it that he wasn't expecting, and the idea of letting shiro use him like that only adds to the effect.

still, he's smart enough to realize that it might be a little much for his first time at bat, so the mental image gets filed away for later. the task at hand is more than enough -- he likes the weight and heat of shiro's cock on his tongue, the salty taste of him, the noises he can get shiro to make. it's good, and his success so far makes him bolder.

which... is why he promptly tries to stuff as much of shiro's cock into his mouth as he can manage, getting about halfway there before his gag reflex decides to ask him what the fuck he thinks he's doing. so he promptly jerks himself back off shiro's dick with a fit of coughing, sitting up a little to get his breath back.

and then: ] ... Sorry.

[ frowning down at shiro's dick like it's a problem he can't figure out how to solve. ] I thought it would be easier.

Here, lemme --

[ watch out, he's attempting to dive right back in there. ]

[bde]

[ Well, that's a rollercoaster. Keith's mouth is already kind of mindblowing by virtue of being a) Keith's mouth and b) on Shiro's dick, and then he goes and shoves right down and for a good second there it's the single hottest thing Shiro's ever seen in his life (just edging out the "Keith drops his towel with an expression full of intent" of five minutes ago). But then he reaches him limit and chokes, which is fine, happens to the best of us, except that he apologizes. Shiro pets at his hair again, murmurs a quiet easy there, buddy. and then Keith says what should be a big clue.

Here's the thing: Shiro's big. He knows he's big, by comparison and having been told (including a "whoa, so I guess it's not true about Asian guys!" that caused a really unpleasant moment as the part of his brain that wasn't fully engaged in powering his dick supplied "yo, that's racist"). It's... not the first time he's heard something along those lines. So all he does is shift his hand to Keith's cheek and brush his thumb gently over the rise of his cheekbone. ]

Hey. Don't force it, you were doing great.

[feralistic]

[ shiro praises him for what amounted to little more than keith attempting to swan dive down into his lap and nearly choking himself to death in the process, and... well. keith doesn't really feel like he deserves it, but he can't help but soak it up anyway. leaning into that hand to his cheek like he's touch-starved, turning just a little into the other man's palm. ]

I want to make you feel good.

[ and it's frustrating that this doesn't come as naturally to him as piloting, especially when shiro is someone who deserves the best. ]

[bde]

[ Shiro laughs. This is a bad move, he knows, because of anyone he knows the only person who has a worse reaction to being laughed at is maybe Lance, but honestly. ]

I mean...

[ It's crass, but he reaches down and waggles his own dick. Rock hard, see? Feeling good isn't in question. ]

How about you get up here and we make each other feel good?

[feralistic]

[ the laugh is enough to make keith's eyes snap open, expression already reshaping itself into something that's the keith kogane version of a pout, but --

well. then shiro dick wiggles at him, and that's distracting for a multitude of reasons.

besides! inexperienced or no, he's pretty sure what that offer means. and keith seizes on it without hesitation, lunging forward to clamber right into shiro's lap again, stealing the chance to press another breathlessly eager kiss to the older man's mouth as he settles himself. then he reaches back and wraps his fingers around shiro's dick, already starting to try to lean his weight back and rock his hips down -- ]

[bde]

[ Keith scrambles into his lap and kisses him and oh man that's good, but then - ]

Whoa, whoa. Slow it down a little, huh?

[ It's probably a good thing that Shiro shifts his own hands to under Keith's ass to hold him up, because there's a moment there where his backward press nearly takes and even the lingering traces of his spit on Shiro's dick isn't quite enough to not make it feel terrifyingly like it's about to bend at the resistance. Which, honestly, would be a better outcome than slipping in dry and unprepared, but -

unprepared. Completely unprepared. Gears turn, the penny drops, and Shiro pauses a moment and fixes Keith with a gentle but suspicious Look. ]

Keith, have you... done this before?

[feralistic]

[ keith has about a split second to panic, because it doesn't seem like shiro is sliding up into him as easily as keith had imagined, and what if that means --

and then shiro's hands are under him, holding him up, and shiro is saying his name in a tone of voice that immediately has keith trying to gauge his expression. if it were anyone else, the question would probably be met with an instant rebuttal. not because keith is particularly ashamed of his inexperience, but because there's a certain vulnerability in admitting that he has no idea what the hell he's doing.

... but lying to shiro is never really a thing, so. ] No.

[ still watching shiro carefully, his own expression closed off. almost like he's expecting this to be some sort of dealbreaker, just waiting for shiro to call the whole thing off. ] ... but it's not a big deal.

[bde]

[ Shiro might argue that point, but there's a special little slice of disdain in his heart for people who make other people feel stupid when they could have been kind instead, and frankly Shiro would rather let Keith snap his dick than lord anything over him. And anyway, he remembers being new and awkward, worried that his inexperience would give him away and somehow suddenly make him unsexily unfuckable. So he bites back the urge to say something like why didn't you tell me or we can wait if you want and nods instead, using his hands to settle Keith in his lap (but pointedly not on his dick) and leans in to peck a kiss on his mouth. ]

Well, it'll be a big deal to me if I hurt you. I want this to be good for you whether it's your first time or your thousandth. If we're gonna do this, I need you to trust me to get you ready, and I need to be able to trust you to tell me if anything hurts or feels weird or you want me to stop. For any reason. Okay?

[feralistic]

[ it's not the rejection keith had been afraid of, and he lets out the breath he didn't realize he'd been holding in response. he likes the way shiro talks about it -- like it's a team effort between the two of them, like shiro trusts him. so he nods without any further protest, although... ]

I'm ready now. [ how much more ready is he supposed to be? need is an ache that sits low in the pit of his belly, and just the feeling of shiro's dick pressing up against the back of his thighs is enough to make that desire sharpen. so he reaches up to pull shiro towards him for another kiss, as if the heat there can somehow convince him. and then, against his mouth: ] I want you.