Big Dad Energy (
bde) wrote in
fourstrings2018-09-20 04:22 pm
I seek the stars above worlds to be the guides
[ Shiro’s been dancing around it for a while now. At first he’d thought it was just Keith being Keith, ferociously protective of the people he cares about because he’s lost too many of the few he’s had. But being the focus of all that attention from someone like Keith – well, it’d get to anyone. Shiro’s embarrassed at first, tries to write it off as a reaction to being touched with care after so long with physical contact as a thing to fear. Eventually he can’t deny that he’s attracted to Keith, both physically and in a deep admiration that slots in neatly alongside all the pride and affection he’d felt for the cadet he’d known before the Kerberos mission. But it’s fine; it’s not like he’s never been attracted to someone before, and there’s so much to do it’s easy to channel all his energy into it as a distraction.
It’s harder once he realizes that what Keith feels for him isn’t just dedication to an old friend. He catches Keith watching him with an intensity that makes his chest feel warm and tight, and sometimes when he puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder the younger man leans in to it like a cat getting an ear-scritch. They clasp hands and Shiro pulls Keith in to a hug, and Keith tucks his face against Shiro’s shoulder like it’s the place he feels safest. Shiro falls asleep in the lounge, just once after they’ve sunk a solid week into liberating another territory, and in the warm dim place between sleep and wake he feels Keith press a soft, dry kiss to his temple. And Shiro thinks, okay, that’s something they need to talk about, but it seems like every day there’s a new crisis and he puts it off, puts it off and puts it off, because the universe depends on them now and rushing into this risks upsetting the balance of the team in a way they can’t afford.
He wants to do this right. He wants to have a conversation, make sure that no matter what happens it doesn’t jeopardise their friendship – or jeopardise the team, which puts the whole universe at risk. He wants to talk it out and make sure they’re careful.
What he does instead is find himself brimming over with it, full to overflowing, until one day when they’re unwinding after a sparring match he just gives in, slips a hand against Keith’s cheek and leans in to kiss him. There’s a heartbeat and then Keith is kissing him back, warm and so alive -
And then the alarm sounds and Coran’s voice rings throughout the castle, informing them that there’s an emergency and the paladins need to get to their Lions now.
Helping a rebel ship being chased by Galra fighters leads to following them back to a base, which in turn leads to a protracted battle planetside, and the faintest hint of Black growling at him in the back of his mind every time his thoughts wander to Keith and the press of his lips, the slick promise of his tongue. It’s days before the fighting stops, close to a week, and even Lance’s enthusiasm over winning a battle hard-fought is reduced to a “yay us, see you in a week when I wake up” as they all head for their rooms. Sleep is something they’ve only had in snatches, stolen moments when things died down enough for the ground forces to hold the situation for a while, and by rights Shiro should be unconscious as soon as his head hits the pillow. Instead he’s restless, fidgeting in his bed, feeling like he can’t even close his eyes. A warm shower doesn’t really help, other than meaning at least now he’s restless and clean.
The only thing to do is face it head-on, then. He’s only in sweats and a tank top as he pads barefoot to Keith’s room, and he tells himself it’s because Keith will already be asleep and Shiro’s going to check and then head right back to bed, certain that there’s nothing he can do for now and maybe catch enough sleep to have this conversation alert and sensible tomorrow. At least, he thinks, he can say he tried.
He knocks. ]
Keith?
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I love you, Shiro. [ low, voice a little rough with the depth of emotion that he scarcely even knows what to do with. ] So much, I --
[ leaning up, pressing their mouths together again. ] ... I never thought I'd find a home again until I met you.
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[ Keith's face is right there, so close, and Shiro takes a moment just to look at him - to marvel at how beautiful he is, all those sharp angles resolved into something soft because of Shiro, and kissing him again - deep, but slow and indulgent - is as inevitable as a thrown rock falling back to Earth. As inevitable as this feels, this closeness, the two of them coming together like this. So he kisses Keith, and rubs his thumb against Keith's hand where he's clutching at him, and drops his face to lay a kiss against the pale, elegant stretch of Keith's neck as he slowly starts to move inside him. ]
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[ keith echoes it back, because he's honestly too overwhelmed to come up with something better to say. especially when shiro starts to move inside him, slow and gentle but good, and the feeling of it sings through every inch of keith.
he drops his head back with a little gasp, fingers squeezing around shiro's hand. ] Shiro...
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[ He's not actually just looking to get his ego stroked, here. As incredible as it feels - something that carries through in his voice, low and rough, a little strained, barely more than a whisper - he still wants to be careful with Keith. Not because he thinks Keith can't take it, but because so many people haven't been careful with him, in so many different ways. Shiro's not somebody who's ever really put too much stock in the idea of virginity, but there'll only ever be one first time, and he'd find a way to stop time itself if that was what it took to make sure he does this right. To make sure that Keith knows how loved he is, how precious. How valued.
Keith is everything to Shiro. He wants to be sure Keith feels that, every moment of every day, but especially now. ]
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[ and he shifts a little, finding that it's more comfortable to wrap one leg around shiro's hips than it is to keep them spread. of course, that has the added effect of letting shiro sink even deeper on his next inward press, and that makes keith's voice break around a low moan. ] God, Shiro, I --
I can feel you. So much. [ which comes out sounding like stupid nonsense, but keith is too wrapped up to really care. this is what he wanted; a world that feels like it's made up of nothing but shiro, in him and above him and all around him, the way keith always feels finally made manifest in the physical.
it's heaven. ] So good, Shiro, so good.
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The praise, on top of that? Perfection. It's enough to let him cast that worry aside and start moving the way he really wants to, the gentle rocking of his hips moving into something constant, rolling, and he feels it through his whole body - through his whole being. ]
You feel so good, baby. You're perfect, perfect for me. I want - I want this forever.
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Shiro, can you --
[ it shouldn't be hard to ask for what he wants, not when shiro has already shown how willingly he's ready to give. over and over, anything, everything, and keith is so greedy to ask for more, but. ] Keep -- Keep t-talking, keep saying --
[ that i'm good for you. that you want me. that i'm perfect. that this is real. ]
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[ The words would sound better if he was calmer, if the weren't falling from his lips lip pearls from a snapped necklace. But he means them, means every word, whispers them like prayer as he rocks into Keith and feels every hitch of it, every slide like the voice of god saying I hear you, I'm here. ]
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I love you, Shiro. [ breathed out against his skin, voice nearly breaking around the words. ] So much, and --
Fuck, you feel so good inside me. Like you were made for me, just for me.
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[ He's not going to last, not like this. It takes an effort to pry himself back from Keith's body enough to get a hand between them, to start stroking Keith's cock in time with his thrusts, but it's so good and he's damned if he won't at least try to get Keith there along with him. ]
Keith, please, I'm - you're so good, you're so good -
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and suddenly there's nothing more that keith wants in the universe than to bring shiro over the edge, to feel him hit his peak and know that he did that, that he was the one who made shiro feel so good. it's why he fights off his own orgasm for those last few moments, leaning up so that he can murmur his next words right into shiro's ear. ]
Come for me, Shiro, come on, come in me, lemme feel you.
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Keith!
[ He's trembling with the force of it, pushes all the way in as he feels himself spill inside his lover, his love. He barely has the presence of mind to keep his hand moving, to rub his thumb over the pleasure-slick head of Keith's cock and try to pull him over with him. ]
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Shiro!
[ it's perfect, it's beautiful, it's everything.
and it's only after what feels like a lifetime that keith comes back to himself enough to realize just how intently he's clutching at shiro -- he can feel the way his nails are digging into the older man's skin, feel the tremble in his thighs from how tightly he has his legs wrapped around him. it actually takes a considerable amount of effort to convince himself to let go, just a little; he steadies his breathing and tucks his face into shiro's shoulder instead, soothed by all this wonderful closeness. ]
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No, Keith, c'mon -
[ He nudges at Keith's face with his own, squeezes the hands they have laced together for good measure. ]
Let me kiss you.
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You haven't had enough already?
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Nuh-uh. Never. I have a lot of catching up to do.
[ Let me kiss you, he'd said, but now his apparent plan is to look wounded and sad until Keith caves and kisses him first. ]
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and while it's extremely hard to not immediately give into that look, keith likes to believe he's made of slightly tougher stuff. so he resists, even though everything in him is screaming at him to swoop in and smooch shiro until he forgets how to even make that face. ]
How much catching up are we talking? You gotta give a guy a timeframe.
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You remember when that trip through the wormhole went south and we ended up separated from the others? That's when I knew for sure, no question.
If we're counting maybes? Since you busted me out of quarantine.
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as it turns out, shiro being earnest about falling for him is even more effective than pitiful kicked-puppy shiro. dammit.
and keith can't help but lean up and press their mouths together for a kiss after that, something slow and sweet and soft. and when he finally pulls away again, he's smiling, an expression that's so absolutely lovesick that there's no hiding it. ]
We better go by yours and not mine. Otherwise we'd never get anything done.
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That doesn't sound so bad. Can't think of a way I'd rather spend my time.
[ And he ducks his head and peppers little kisses over Keith's cheek, just for the joy of being able to do so. He'd wondered, sometimes. If Keith had a crush on him back at the Garrison. He never thought on it too much; Keith was so young at the time, and he'd had Adam, and it could easily just have been a slightly misdirected kind of gratitude for the fact that Shiro was kind to him, that he took an interest. Now? He can't help being grateful it wasn't just a phase, that Keith didn't grow out of it or find someone else. ]
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[ but what he's about to say gets lost in the laughter that finally creeps over him, tickled by those little fluttery kisses shiro keeps pecking over his skin. it's a breathless, helpless sound, punctuated by the way he's trying to wriggle and find a way to hide his face from the onslaught. ]
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[ And Shiro - shamefully - grabs Keith's other hand so he can pin them both, and increases the onslaught of kisses. ]
What could ever be better than this? Nothing, that's what.
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[ but that's all he can get out, because shiro pins him down and keeps the kisses right up, and it's ticklish and silly in a way that has keith reduced to an honest-to-god fit of giggling. ]
Sh-Shiro, cut it -- hah -- out!
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[ He does, though. Presses a kiss just below Keith's ear and one final, lingering one to his lips, and then he pulls back just enough to smile indulgently at Keith, pure happiness. ]
You're everything I never thought I'd have. I love you, Keith.
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... really? [ softly, voice small. not because he doesn't believe shiro, but maybe because he doesn't believe in himself. doesn't believe that he earned this, that he did something to deserve it, that it can actually be something real. ] It wasn't just...?
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