fourstrings | I seek the stars above worlds to be the guides

I seek the stars above worlds to be the guides

[ Shiro’s been dancing around it for a while now. At first he’d thought it was just Keith being Keith, ferociously protective of the people he cares about because he’s lost too many of the few he’s had. But being the focus of all that attention from someone like Keith – well, it’d get to anyone. Shiro’s embarrassed at first, tries to write it off as a reaction to being touched with care after so long with physical contact as a thing to fear. Eventually he can’t deny that he’s attracted to Keith, both physically and in a deep admiration that slots in neatly alongside all the pride and affection he’d felt for the cadet he’d known before the Kerberos mission. But it’s fine; it’s not like he’s never been attracted to someone before, and there’s so much to do it’s easy to channel all his energy into it as a distraction.

It’s harder once he realizes that what Keith feels for him isn’t just dedication to an old friend. He catches Keith watching him with an intensity that makes his chest feel warm and tight, and sometimes when he puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder the younger man leans in to it like a cat getting an ear-scritch. They clasp hands and Shiro pulls Keith in to a hug, and Keith tucks his face against Shiro’s shoulder like it’s the place he feels safest. Shiro falls asleep in the lounge, just once after they’ve sunk a solid week into liberating another territory, and in the warm dim place between sleep and wake he feels Keith press a soft, dry kiss to his temple. And Shiro thinks, okay, that’s something they need to talk about, but it seems like every day there’s a new crisis and he puts it off, puts it off and puts it off, because the universe depends on them now and rushing into this risks upsetting the balance of the team in a way they can’t afford.

He wants to do this right. He wants to have a conversation, make sure that no matter what happens it doesn’t jeopardise their friendship – or jeopardise the team, which puts the whole universe at risk. He wants to talk it out and make sure they’re careful.

What he does instead is find himself brimming over with it, full to overflowing, until one day when they’re unwinding after a sparring match he just gives in, slips a hand against Keith’s cheek and leans in to kiss him. There’s a heartbeat and then Keith is kissing him back, warm and so alive -
And then the alarm sounds and Coran’s voice rings throughout the castle, informing them that there’s an emergency and the paladins need to get to their Lions now.

Helping a rebel ship being chased by Galra fighters leads to following them back to a base, which in turn leads to a protracted battle planetside, and the faintest hint of Black growling at him in the back of his mind every time his thoughts wander to Keith and the press of his lips, the slick promise of his tongue. It’s days before the fighting stops, close to a week, and even Lance’s enthusiasm over winning a battle hard-fought is reduced to a “yay us, see you in a week when I wake up” as they all head for their rooms. Sleep is something they’ve only had in snatches, stolen moments when things died down enough for the ground forces to hold the situation for a while, and by rights Shiro should be unconscious as soon as his head hits the pillow. Instead he’s restless, fidgeting in his bed, feeling like he can’t even close his eyes. A warm shower doesn’t really help, other than meaning at least now he’s restless and clean.

The only thing to do is face it head-on, then. He’s only in sweats and a tank top as he pads barefoot to Keith’s room, and he tells himself it’s because Keith will already be asleep and Shiro’s going to check and then head right back to bed, certain that there’s nothing he can do for now and maybe catch enough sleep to have this conversation alert and sensible tomorrow. At least, he thinks, he can say he tried.
He knocks. ]

Keith?

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[ I love you.

Shiro's eyes blow wide, and for the moments of Keith's stammering Shiro's breath is caught in his throat. He'll never know if Keith was going to finish that sentence, because that's when he leans in to catch Keith's face in both his hands and kiss him, deep and sweet and lingering.

He'd thought he'd have to be so careful. To time it just right, wait out the days and the months and hell, maybe years until he thought there was a chance he could say the words and Keith wouldn't flee, all his abandonment issues forcing him to cut ties before this got any more dangerous. But Keith has said it, Keith has said it first and Shiro feels like he's floating, like his grip on Keith is all that's keeping him on the bed. ]

No, no. It's not too soon. I love you too.

[ shiro cuts him off with the kind of kiss that feels like it goes right down into keith's soul, until he's dizzy with the sheer force of feeling that he can feel behind it. and after that, maybe what comes next shouldn't be a surprise, but -- ]

Oh.

[ softly, awed, little more than a whispered exhale. being loved by shiro is something so wonderful that keith can scarcely even believe it, and shiro gave it to him so easily, even though keith can't see how it's something he's possibly managed to earn. he feels so full that he wants to burst, heart squeezing in his chest and a thick lump swollen in his throat, but it's a wonderful thing. ] Shiro.

[ and that's all he can manage to get out -- instead, he just pulls shiro down for another one of those slow, deep kisses, trying to pour out everything into that instead. ]

[ The sound of his voice, the look on his face, the kiss - Shiro accepts them all gratefully, and drops his hands to Keith's hips so that when he rolls onto his back he can pull Keith on top of him. It's already such a perfect thing, such an indescribably good feeling, and having the weight of Keith's body over his can only make it better. He kisses Keith again once he's there, letting his hands roam slowly over him, taking this one perfect moment and spinning it into gold, something he can keep with him forever. ]

I never thought I'd have something like this again. You're... so much better than anything I would have dared to hope for.

[ he settles himself on top of shiro, draping over him like he can protect him from the rest of the world that way. and he tucks his head closer to press kisses up the line of the older man's throat, nosing affectionately into the velvet-soft buzzed hair at his temple. ]

You deserve all the good stuff you want, Shiro. And I wanna help you get it, if I can.

You're it, Keith.

[ It only occurs to him after he's said it that that might sound... glib, maybe. He lets his fingertips wander up and down the line of Keith's spine, from the nape of his neck to his tailbone and back again, marveling just at being allowed to do so. ]

When I was away - when I was with the Galra - I learned not to hope for much. That they wouldn't get creative, that they'd feed me that day, that my opponent would be -

[ a beast, or a machine. Something that didn't look humanoid. Or if they did look humanoid, something that at least looked like an adult. But that's too much to lay at Keith's door, especially when they're like this, and he manages a sort of one-shouldered shrug. ]

Just seeing you again seemed like more than I even deserved. Waking up on that table and seeing you - I thought I was dreaming. This? This is enough for me. This is enough for forever.

[ there's a part of keith that wonders if this will ever stop feeling like a dream. hearing shiro say that he loves him, that he wants keith as much as keith has always wanted him -- he's so used to telling himself that there's no way that shiro could ever feel this way about him that it's hard to accept that it's real. even with shiro real and solid and warm underneath him, keith still can't dismiss the feeling that he'll blink and lose it, that something will jar him back to wakefulness in the desert shack, alone and grieving.

but he's also lived enough to know that he doesn't want to let fear make him miss out on something so good, so.

he sits up just a little, enough to cradle shiro's face in both his hands, sweeping his thumbs tenderly along the older man's cheekbones. ]

Too bad. [ but it's warm and laced all the way through with affection, eyes soft as he smiles down at shiro. ] I already decided I'm going to spend the rest of my life finding a million more ways to make you happy.

[ and he leans down to press their mouths together again, slow and sweet. when he pulls away to speak, he doesn't go far -- just enough to speak against shiro's lips, his own mouth quirking up into a little grin. ] Even if it's too much for an old guy like you to handle.

[ The way Keith looks at him, that gentle touch, the things he says - it's so soft and sweet that Shiro could cry. He doesn't, though it's a near thing, his eyes shining briefly with wet in the temporary overflow of emotion. That's a crisis very narrowly averted by the fact that something stupid and hopeful in the back of Shiro's brain pipes up sounds like he's proposing! and Shiro has to spend a good ten seconds fighting down the flutters that though sends through his chest.

Eventually, when he's recovered as much control as he's going to get, he tips his face close. Not a kiss, just... a nuzzle. Something warm and comfortable. ]

I knew from the moment you kissed me back you'd be too much for me to handle. Glad you're gonna give me time to get used to it.

[ keith closes his eyes briefly as he presses into the gesture, feeling his heart squeeze in his chest at this display of something so soft and sweet. and while what shiro says makes him breathe out a little laugh, the sound of get used to it also reminds him -- ]

Hey. [ pressing a kiss to the corner of shiro's mouth. ] You mind being back on top?

I want -- [ and he flushes, words catching in his throat. he doesn't know how to say that one of his fantasies was having shiro like that, big and broad and enveloping him completely. and that's what he wants for their first time together; wants to be wrapped up in shiro so completely that the rest of the universe gets blotted out altogether. ]

Oh. I -

[ It's not like he's forgotten they were in the middle of something. If he's honest, there was still a tiny part of him that might have thought that maybe - just maybe - Keith was only extra horny tonight, and getting him off would put a little pause on things for now. For all his big talk, he's still adjusting to the idea that this might be real, and might be everything he wants it to be. But Keith asks, and Shiro feels a smile unfurl over his face that's almost shy, and he laughs quietly. ]

Yeah. Yeah, whatever you want.

[ He means it. Now and for the rest of his life, and he takes gentle hold of Keith and rolls them, settling himself between Keith's legs before he leans in to kiss him again, slow and deep. ]

This okay?

[ shiro rolls them back over and settles in between his legs, and it's perfect. especially when he leans down to catch keith's mouth in another slow kiss, and keith gives into the urge to reach up and wrap his arms around the older man's broad shoulders. ]

Yeah. [ softly, leaning up just so he can steal another brief kiss off shiro's mouth. ] Way better than it's okay, it's --

[ he shifts a little, a pink flush stealing into his cheeks as he breaks eye contact. just for a moment, enough to gather his nerve, and then: ] ... can we...?

[ That kiss is wonderful, and so is the flush of Keith's cheeks, and Shiro dips his head in close to brush another kiss, warm and gentle, against Keith's mouth. ]

Yeah. Yes, god, I - [ he's blabbering, and he laughs quietly at himself. ]

Here, just let me -

[ It feels almost like punishment to draw away from Keith enough to find the lube, and a little hiss of need catches in his throat at the cool feeling of it and the sensation as he slicks it over his cock. Then he touches, gently and inquisitively, between Keith's legs and finds him still soft there, tight but not tense, and slowly slicks the remainder of the lube against his skin. ]

Ready?

[ it's absolutely endearing to realize that shiro is just as nervous? excited? about all of this as keith is, and it unwinds that last lingering bit of nerves in his chest. he doesn't have to be good at this, doesn't have to perform or impress -- all he needs to do is enjoy the two of them, together, and it'll be perfect.

so he settles himself back against the mattress, spreading his legs a little further to accommodate shiro between them. then he nods a little, smiling as he meets shiro's eyes again. ] Ready.

I want you, Shiro.

[ Keith smiles at him and it bursts in Shiro's chest, sending a flood of gratitude and affection through him. It's been so long since he was with anyone like this, and he wants so badly to be good for Keith, to make this everything Keith deserves - but then Keith smiles at him like that and it's like permission to stop worrying, to just be himself, excited and turned on and in love.

He kisses Keith again, lines up and ever-so-slowly guides himself in. It's - it's everything. It's freefall when you know you can pull off a safe landing, it's the taste of your favourite food from childhood, it's the sound of a song you loved but had forgotten. He shivers, reaches for Keith's hand and laces their fingers together, tight and warm. ]

Keith.

[ shiro presses into him, slow but steady, and it's so much that keith nearly forgets how to breathe. he's big, and he fills keith up in a way that his fingers only teased at -- but it doesn't hurt, not at all, it just feels like being whole in a way that keith never thought to look for in another person. they fit together so well that it also seems like a foregone conclusion that they reached this point; there's a part of him that wonders if it feels like this for everyone, but another part that just as quickly wants to latch onto the idea that no, this is just for the two of them. ]

Shiro.

[ he squeezes where shiro has their hands laced together, leaning up to press another lingering kiss against the older man's mouth. ] God, you're so --

[ a shaky exhale, licking his lips absently. ] ... perfect.

[ It's good to hear that, so good to know it's good for Keith, and Shiro immediately leans in for another kiss. ]

Perfect.

[ It's echoed back quietly, almost awed. There's something so special about this, magical. Not just how dazzlingly good Keith feels, hot and devastatingly tight in a way that still, somehow, lets him in so easily it feels like a welcome. It's everything he'd ever wanted and told himself he couldn't have, the physical representation of the pure love and adoration he feels for Keith ringing through his body. He presses, inch by careful inch, and when he's bottomed out it feels like he's home, safe as a sword in its scabbard, and it's so overwhelming he has to hold himself still a moment. ]

I love you. I love you so much I don't even understand how.

[ keith is glad when shiro takes that moment to be still, because the feeling of shiro pressed so deep inside him is almost more than he can take. he has to close his eyes for a moment and just breathe through it, reassured by the feeling of having shiro so close that it's almost like they're one. ]

I love you, Shiro. [ low, voice a little rough with the depth of emotion that he scarcely even knows what to do with. ] So much, I --

[ leaning up, pressing their mouths together again. ] ... I never thought I'd find a home again until I met you.

I want that. I want to be that for you. Always.

[ Keith's face is right there, so close, and Shiro takes a moment just to look at him - to marvel at how beautiful he is, all those sharp angles resolved into something soft because of Shiro, and kissing him again - deep, but slow and indulgent - is as inevitable as a thrown rock falling back to Earth. As inevitable as this feels, this closeness, the two of them coming together like this. So he kisses Keith, and rubs his thumb against Keith's hand where he's clutching at him, and drops his face to lay a kiss against the pale, elegant stretch of Keith's neck as he slowly starts to move inside him. ]

Always.

[ keith echoes it back, because he's honestly too overwhelmed to come up with something better to say. especially when shiro starts to move inside him, slow and gentle but good, and the feeling of it sings through every inch of keith.

he drops his head back with a little gasp, fingers squeezing around shiro's hand. ] Shiro...

Was that... good? It sounded good.

[ He's not actually just looking to get his ego stroked, here. As incredible as it feels - something that carries through in his voice, low and rough, a little strained, barely more than a whisper - he still wants to be careful with Keith. Not because he thinks Keith can't take it, but because so many people haven't been careful with him, in so many different ways. Shiro's not somebody who's ever really put too much stock in the idea of virginity, but there'll only ever be one first time, and he'd find a way to stop time itself if that was what it took to make sure he does this right. To make sure that Keith knows how loved he is, how precious. How valued.

Keith is everything to Shiro. He wants to be sure Keith feels that, every moment of every day, but especially now. ]

It's amazing. [ softly, reverently, even through the way his next exhale hitches in a laugh. how could it ever be anything else? ] You're amazing.

[ and he shifts a little, finding that it's more comfortable to wrap one leg around shiro's hips than it is to keep them spread. of course, that has the added effect of letting shiro sink even deeper on his next inward press, and that makes keith's voice break around a low moan. ] God, Shiro, I --

I can feel you. So much. [ which comes out sounding like stupid nonsense, but keith is too wrapped up to really care. this is what he wanted; a world that feels like it's made up of nothing but shiro, in him and above him and all around him, the way keith always feels finally made manifest in the physical.

it's heaven. ] So good, Shiro, so good.

[ There's a warm pulse of happiness through Shiro when Keith says it's amazing, something calming and comforting, and then Keith hitches a leg around Shiro's hips and lets him in deeper and Shiro moans with it, like he feels it in the very marrow of his bones.

The praise, on top of that? Perfection. It's enough to let him cast that worry aside and start moving the way he really wants to, the gentle rocking of his hips moving into something constant, rolling, and he feels it through his whole body - through his whole being. ]

You feel so good, baby. You're perfect, perfect for me. I want - I want this forever.

[ it's always meant so much to keith whenever he earns a word of shiro's praise, but now? like this? the words stroke over him like a physical touch, pooling with the rest of the warmth inside him and making him squirm underneath shiro. ]

Shiro, can you --

[ it shouldn't be hard to ask for what he wants, not when shiro has already shown how willingly he's ready to give. over and over, anything, everything, and keith is so greedy to ask for more, but. ] Keep -- Keep t-talking, keep saying --

[ that i'm good for you. that you want me. that i'm perfect. that this is real. ]

Yeah, Keith, whatever you want. I'll give you whatever you need, I've wanted to for - god, for years. You're beautiful, you're like fire, and I was so scared I'd burn up but it's just - warm, and safe. You mean home.

[ The words would sound better if he was calmer, if the weren't falling from his lips lip pearls from a snapped necklace. But he means them, means every word, whispers them like prayer as he rocks into Keith and feels every hitch of it, every slide like the voice of god saying I hear you, I'm here. ]

[ he groans at the sound of the words, so much more than he ever let himself believe shiro would say. and he has to tuck his face into one of the other man's broad shoulders for a moment just to hide, to breathe, because it's all so much that keith feels like he might shatter, and he's a little afraid of something so wonderful. ]

I love you, Shiro. [ breathed out against his skin, voice nearly breaking around the words. ] So much, and --

Fuck, you feel so good inside me. Like you were made for me, just for me.

Just for you, baby. My perfect fit. I love you, I -

[ He's not going to last, not like this. It takes an effort to pry himself back from Keith's body enough to get a hand between them, to start stroking Keith's cock in time with his thrusts, but it's so good and he's damned if he won't at least try to get Keith there along with him. ]

Keith, please, I'm - you're so good, you're so good -

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