fourstrings | I seek the stars above worlds to be the guides

I seek the stars above worlds to be the guides

[ Shiro’s been dancing around it for a while now. At first he’d thought it was just Keith being Keith, ferociously protective of the people he cares about because he’s lost too many of the few he’s had. But being the focus of all that attention from someone like Keith – well, it’d get to anyone. Shiro’s embarrassed at first, tries to write it off as a reaction to being touched with care after so long with physical contact as a thing to fear. Eventually he can’t deny that he’s attracted to Keith, both physically and in a deep admiration that slots in neatly alongside all the pride and affection he’d felt for the cadet he’d known before the Kerberos mission. But it’s fine; it’s not like he’s never been attracted to someone before, and there’s so much to do it’s easy to channel all his energy into it as a distraction.

It’s harder once he realizes that what Keith feels for him isn’t just dedication to an old friend. He catches Keith watching him with an intensity that makes his chest feel warm and tight, and sometimes when he puts a hand on Keith’s shoulder the younger man leans in to it like a cat getting an ear-scritch. They clasp hands and Shiro pulls Keith in to a hug, and Keith tucks his face against Shiro’s shoulder like it’s the place he feels safest. Shiro falls asleep in the lounge, just once after they’ve sunk a solid week into liberating another territory, and in the warm dim place between sleep and wake he feels Keith press a soft, dry kiss to his temple. And Shiro thinks, okay, that’s something they need to talk about, but it seems like every day there’s a new crisis and he puts it off, puts it off and puts it off, because the universe depends on them now and rushing into this risks upsetting the balance of the team in a way they can’t afford.

He wants to do this right. He wants to have a conversation, make sure that no matter what happens it doesn’t jeopardise their friendship – or jeopardise the team, which puts the whole universe at risk. He wants to talk it out and make sure they’re careful.

What he does instead is find himself brimming over with it, full to overflowing, until one day when they’re unwinding after a sparring match he just gives in, slips a hand against Keith’s cheek and leans in to kiss him. There’s a heartbeat and then Keith is kissing him back, warm and so alive -
And then the alarm sounds and Coran’s voice rings throughout the castle, informing them that there’s an emergency and the paladins need to get to their Lions now.

Helping a rebel ship being chased by Galra fighters leads to following them back to a base, which in turn leads to a protracted battle planetside, and the faintest hint of Black growling at him in the back of his mind every time his thoughts wander to Keith and the press of his lips, the slick promise of his tongue. It’s days before the fighting stops, close to a week, and even Lance’s enthusiasm over winning a battle hard-fought is reduced to a “yay us, see you in a week when I wake up” as they all head for their rooms. Sleep is something they’ve only had in snatches, stolen moments when things died down enough for the ground forces to hold the situation for a while, and by rights Shiro should be unconscious as soon as his head hits the pillow. Instead he’s restless, fidgeting in his bed, feeling like he can’t even close his eyes. A warm shower doesn’t really help, other than meaning at least now he’s restless and clean.

The only thing to do is face it head-on, then. He’s only in sweats and a tank top as he pads barefoot to Keith’s room, and he tells himself it’s because Keith will already be asleep and Shiro’s going to check and then head right back to bed, certain that there’s nothing he can do for now and maybe catch enough sleep to have this conversation alert and sensible tomorrow. At least, he thinks, he can say he tried.
He knocks. ]

Keith?

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[ shiro spreads his fingers in him, and keith's breath hitches up in a little gasp in response. there's still no real pain, not when shiro is going this slow -- but the stretch is just a promise of what's to come, and it makes him burn all over again. especially when shiro rocks up against him, dick hard and hot against keith's skin, and fuck. it's hard not to want it now, but he promised that he'd be patient and let shiro get him ready, and the last thing in the universe keith wants is to let shiro down. ]

It's --

[ but then shiro hooks his fingers just so, and touches something inside keith that sets off fireworks inside him.

he arches up with a strangled little shout, pressing a hand to the back of his mouth in a mindless effort to stifle the sound. already, he's trying to rock his hips down greedily into shiro's hand, trying to find that again, trying to -- ]

Shiro -- [ it comes out as a whine, and keith is too distracted to be embarrassed by it. ]

Bingo.

[ He's insufferably proud of himself, smirking at Keith's reaction. Keith shifts his hips down, clearly seeking that touch out again, and so Shiro gives it to him, circling his fingers there with care. He's enjoying this - taking his time, watching Keith, drinking in the sounds he makes and the movement of his body - but he'd be a liar if he said all of that wasn't making him impossibly harder, so much that it aches. ]

I used to touch myself here and think about you. All the things I want to do to you, all the things I want you to do to me. Didn't even have to touch my dick to get off.

You're even hotter than I imagined.

Fuck --

[ keith isn't even sure he could say which is better -- the way shiro works his fingers against that spot inside him, or the mental image of shiro touching himself and thinking about keith. either way, it's almost more than he can take; his dick throbs between his legs, and that spot that shiro keeps stroking inside him just amplifies the feeling until it feels like it's going to drive keith crazy.

he wants to respond in some way that's even remotely coherent, but when he opens his mouth? all that comes out is another low sound of pleasure, breath hitching as the way he squirms makes shiro's fingers shift inside him. it's too much, too good, and every time his mind wraps back around the thought that it's shiro doing it to him, keith feels like he's going to lose it all over again. ]

I c-can't -- I -- [ and he reaches down to wrap his fingers around his dick, squeezing tight at the base to help stave off that built-up tension he can feel trying to climb towards something at the pit of his belly. he promised that he'd trust shiro to get him ready, and he doesn't want to make it seem like he's trying to go back on that now, but fuck. ] If you keep saying stuff like that --

[ He's not trying to tease Keith, really. Keith is more important to him than anything, and he wants their first time together to be as close to perfect for Keith as he can make it, but -

but. There's just something about those sounds, the way Keith moves against him, the stuttering urgency in he voice and the way he reaches down to try and hold off that suddenly makes Shiro want very badly to see Keith come like this, on his fingers, where Shiro can look down at him and watch every movement of his body. He eases off a little, slowing the movement of his hand, and lays a kiss against the side of Keith's neck. ]

Want me to stop? We've got time. We've got all night.

N-No, but --

[ keith tries to take a moment and calm down, but it's hard when his body is still all-too-aware of the slow rock of shiro's fingers inside him, the straining ache of his dick between his legs, the tight coil at the pit of his belly that wants nothing more than for shiro to finish winding him all the way up. but -- ]

... s'just, if you keep doing that, I'm -- [ just trying to put it into words makes him flush, heat creeping into his cheeks and stealing all the way to the tips of his ears. it's stupid, but he wants to impress shiro, not go and blow his load early before they've even got to the part that's supposed to be for both of them. ] ... I'm not even doing anything for you.

Keith.

[ It's husky and low, full of desire - and yet he's laughing.

He'll have time - the rest of his life, if he's lucky - to show Keith that sex isn't something to balance the ledger over, that Shiro takes pleasure in giving pleasure. There's a joy all of its own in in that, and moreso when it's Keith, who's lived in his heart and in his fantasies for what feels like an agonizingly long time now. ]

You wouldn't say that if you knew how many times I've fantasized about watching you come. You're gorgeous.

[ fuck.

it's impossible to even take offense to shiro laughing when he immediately follows it up with something like that; just the sound of it sends another thrill of heat up keith's spine, and the way it makes his muscles squeeze and flutter around the thick fingers inside of him makes him moan in response.

he turns to tuck his face into shiro's shoulder, clutching at him in a (useless) effort to ground himself again. ] Shiro, god...

[ Keith clenches around Shiro's fingers and Shiro moans with it, heat spiking and pulsing through him. He grinds against Keith's hip, messy now with the slick of precome over his cock, gently twists his wrist and scissors his fingers again. Slower than what he was doing before, slower than when Keith warned him off, but he can't quite bring himself to stop. ]

Can I? I want to watch you. I want to see you come and know it's because of me. You're so good, Keith, I want to see you come undone.

[ shiro stretches his fingers inside him again, and keith mewls in response, toes curling as everything in him buzzes with the way it feels to have shiro stretching him open. and he can feel shiro's cock pressing against him, big and hard and slick (and all because of keith), and it just dumps that much more fuel on the fire that's making it hard to think.

there's still a part of him that feels embarrassing to come before they've even gotten to what keith is pretty sure is supposed to be the point of all of this, but. how can it be a bad thing when shiro asks him for it like that? he'd do anything for shiro at the best of times, and no? it's impossible to say no to him, impossible not to give him anything that'll make him stop talking about keith like that.

so keith nods, a quick and embarrassed little thing against shiro's shoulder, and slowly uncurls his fingers from around his own dick. it's so easy to just let himself fall back into things -- he rocks his hips down again into the older man's fingers and moans another low noise, trying to coax shiro into more. ]

Yeah. You're so good to me, Keith.

[ He starts up stroking inside of Keith again in earnest, the spot he's looking for by now unmissable. And Keith's rocking down against his touch in a way that seems so demanding that Shiro rubs against him with the pad of a third finger, coaxing and swiping through the spill of maybe-too-much lube before he presses it home to join in. It's intense, feeling Keith open up to him like this, the hot, tight stretch of him, hearing the stifled little sounds he makes. Keith is a revelation; everything Shiro thought he wanted and more. ]

Don't hide, baby. Let me see that beautiful face.

[ shiro praises him like he's doing something wonderful, and even though keith might argue that laying here and letting shiro finger-fuck him senseless isn't really something that requires much skill on his part, the words still blaze through him. and when shiro slides a third finger into him, the stretch is enough to make keith gasp -- his head hits the pillow as he drops it back, spine arching as the sensation sizzles through him. it's just on the verge of being too much, but shiro keeps working at that spot inside him, and that feels too fucking good for his brain to process much of anything else.

his building climax is something bright and almost sharp inside of him; his thighs twitch with little electric zaps of pleasure, toes curling so hard he can feel a cramp starting in one of his calves. and he's scarcely even aware of the sounds he's making -- breathy little gasps and needy moans, stuttering attempts at shiro's name. they're so close that it's easy to hold onto shiro to keep him steady, so close that it's easy to imagine that it's shiro inside him instead of his fingers, and --

that's the thought that pushes him over, the last little bit he needs. a strangled cry of shiro gets wrenched from him as his hips jerk upwards, his orgasm hitting him in a bright burst that washes out everything else for a few long seconds. ]

Oh, fuck.

[ Keith's beautiful. The sounds he's making, the flush of his cheeks, the sound of Shiro's name on his lips as he comes and if Shiro put his hand around his own cock at all of that it'd take less than a minute for him to come, hot and messy all over Keith's hip.

But that's not what Keith said he wanted, and it's not what Shiro promised. So he stills his fingers, lets his hand go motionless rather than pulling out all at once and leaving Keith feeling empty. And - well, if Keith's gonna find out Shiro's nasty eventually there's probably no better time than now, so he uses his free hand to glide fingertips through the mess over Keith's stomach and brings it to his mouth, sucks the bitter-salt taste of Keith off his own fingers. ]

Damn, look at you. You're so hot. If you decide you never want to see me again, this is gonna be enough to keep me warm on lonely nights for the rest of my life.

[ He leans in, buries a kiss against Keith's temple. he smells good, like Keith and the remnants of his shower and the warmth of blood close to the skin, and Shiro breathes him in shamelessly. ]

How're you doing, baby? Was that okay?

[ the world is swimming in a warm and golden fog in the wake of his orgasm, and all keith can seem to do is float there. but the feeling of shiro's fingertips gliding across his stomach is enough to make him blink back into partial awareness, and --

oh.

something about the sight of shiro sucking his fingers clean sends a sizzle of heat up his spine, and keith groans a low sound in response. his softening cock gives a little twich between his legs, almost like its valiantly trying to rise to the occasion again, but --

looks like even galra biology requires a refractory period. good to know.
'
and while he's all set to tell shiro that good doesn't begin to cover it, good is an insult to the plane that shiro just helped him to ascend to, good is so woefully inadequate that -- ]

... baby? [ it comes out a little muzzy in the afterglow, mildly perplexed but not at all displeased. ]

[ Well

he hadn't planned it. In his fantasies, when he'd pictured rocking Keith in his lap or being splayed face-first on the bed with Keith driving into him, his constant refrain had been Keith, Keith, Keith. But it just came out and honestly, it felt right. He's precious, he means everything to Shiro, and the pet name feels warm and good on Shiro's tongue. ]

Was that too much? I can... not say it. I want you to be comfortable.

No.

[ the response is immediate, almost tripping over the word with how quickly it comes tumbling out of him. keith loops an arm around shiro's shoulders just so that he can pull him a little closer, peppering warm little kisses over his cheek and jaw. ] No, I like it. Coming from you, it's...

[ it should be impossible to find something to blush about when you've got someone else's fingers inside of you, but. here they are. ] ... keep saying it.

Well, good. I like saying it.

[ Hopefully Keith feels a little better about his blush when Shiro colors faintly too, tucks his face in to drop a fairly chaste, close-mouthed kiss against Keith's lips. And slowly - ever so slowly- he eases one finger out. He doesn't know what Keith likes yet (and he hopes he'll have the opportunity to learn that, to know intimately Keith's preferences and desires), but he'd always hated that moment after, the sudden feeling of loss. So he gentles Keith through it the best way he knows how, scattering kisses over Keith's cheekbone and the sharp line of his jaw. ]

I like all of this. I'm...

thank you, Keith.

[ he breathes out a little sigh as shiro slides a finger out of him, fingers curling around one of shiro's shoulders like that closeness will make up for the loss. strange how something so new could become better than what he's known before, but... then again, it's something that came from shiro, so maybe he should know better than to be surprised.

but the thank you makes him snort a little laugh, shaking his head a little as he tips up to catch shiro's mouth in another kiss. slow and lazy, still drunk off that wonderfully unwound feeling inside of him. ] Don't.

You can't thank me for something I want this much.

[ Shiro tucks in closer as Keith clutches at him, slipping his fingers out the rest of the way as he leans in to soothe with a kiss. Don't thank him, Keith says, but it's hard to squash that impulse when he's like this. Warm and sweet and so, so beautiful. Shiro wipes his hands off none-too-diligently on his own hip, uses the advantage of having both arms free to cradle Keith in close against him, just to enjoy the feeling of holding him. He's still hard, of course, but it seems less urgent like this. Still something he wants so badly he can taste it, but... something to look forward to, rather than something he needs right now. Making sure Keith feels safe and loved in the immediate aftermath of what they've done? That takes priority. ]

Are you forgetting I want it too? This isn't a favor, Keith. It's... special. You're special. I can thank you for that.

[ oh.

keith can feel the way that makes him blush, heat sweeping up the back of his neck and into his cheeks, and he tries to bite down on the inside of his cheek to stifle the big dumb grin that wants to break out over his expression. hearing shiro call it special (call him special) makes keith feel warm and fluttery all over, and...

... that's probably what makes him blurt the words out before he can even stop to think whether or not he should. ]

I love you.

[ there's a beat, and then he makes a flustered little sound, cheeks going even darker and mouth working silently around words he can't find. ] I mean, I --

If it's too soon, I'm sorry, I just --

[ I love you.

Shiro's eyes blow wide, and for the moments of Keith's stammering Shiro's breath is caught in his throat. He'll never know if Keith was going to finish that sentence, because that's when he leans in to catch Keith's face in both his hands and kiss him, deep and sweet and lingering.

He'd thought he'd have to be so careful. To time it just right, wait out the days and the months and hell, maybe years until he thought there was a chance he could say the words and Keith wouldn't flee, all his abandonment issues forcing him to cut ties before this got any more dangerous. But Keith has said it, Keith has said it first and Shiro feels like he's floating, like his grip on Keith is all that's keeping him on the bed. ]

No, no. It's not too soon. I love you too.

[ shiro cuts him off with the kind of kiss that feels like it goes right down into keith's soul, until he's dizzy with the sheer force of feeling that he can feel behind it. and after that, maybe what comes next shouldn't be a surprise, but -- ]

Oh.

[ softly, awed, little more than a whispered exhale. being loved by shiro is something so wonderful that keith can scarcely even believe it, and shiro gave it to him so easily, even though keith can't see how it's something he's possibly managed to earn. he feels so full that he wants to burst, heart squeezing in his chest and a thick lump swollen in his throat, but it's a wonderful thing. ] Shiro.

[ and that's all he can manage to get out -- instead, he just pulls shiro down for another one of those slow, deep kisses, trying to pour out everything into that instead. ]

[ The sound of his voice, the look on his face, the kiss - Shiro accepts them all gratefully, and drops his hands to Keith's hips so that when he rolls onto his back he can pull Keith on top of him. It's already such a perfect thing, such an indescribably good feeling, and having the weight of Keith's body over his can only make it better. He kisses Keith again once he's there, letting his hands roam slowly over him, taking this one perfect moment and spinning it into gold, something he can keep with him forever. ]

I never thought I'd have something like this again. You're... so much better than anything I would have dared to hope for.

[ he settles himself on top of shiro, draping over him like he can protect him from the rest of the world that way. and he tucks his head closer to press kisses up the line of the older man's throat, nosing affectionately into the velvet-soft buzzed hair at his temple. ]

You deserve all the good stuff you want, Shiro. And I wanna help you get it, if I can.

You're it, Keith.

[ It only occurs to him after he's said it that that might sound... glib, maybe. He lets his fingertips wander up and down the line of Keith's spine, from the nape of his neck to his tailbone and back again, marveling just at being allowed to do so. ]

When I was away - when I was with the Galra - I learned not to hope for much. That they wouldn't get creative, that they'd feed me that day, that my opponent would be -

[ a beast, or a machine. Something that didn't look humanoid. Or if they did look humanoid, something that at least looked like an adult. But that's too much to lay at Keith's door, especially when they're like this, and he manages a sort of one-shouldered shrug. ]

Just seeing you again seemed like more than I even deserved. Waking up on that table and seeing you - I thought I was dreaming. This? This is enough for me. This is enough for forever.

[ there's a part of keith that wonders if this will ever stop feeling like a dream. hearing shiro say that he loves him, that he wants keith as much as keith has always wanted him -- he's so used to telling himself that there's no way that shiro could ever feel this way about him that it's hard to accept that it's real. even with shiro real and solid and warm underneath him, keith still can't dismiss the feeling that he'll blink and lose it, that something will jar him back to wakefulness in the desert shack, alone and grieving.

but he's also lived enough to know that he doesn't want to let fear make him miss out on something so good, so.

he sits up just a little, enough to cradle shiro's face in both his hands, sweeping his thumbs tenderly along the older man's cheekbones. ]

Too bad. [ but it's warm and laced all the way through with affection, eyes soft as he smiles down at shiro. ] I already decided I'm going to spend the rest of my life finding a million more ways to make you happy.

[ and he leans down to press their mouths together again, slow and sweet. when he pulls away to speak, he doesn't go far -- just enough to speak against shiro's lips, his own mouth quirking up into a little grin. ] Even if it's too much for an old guy like you to handle.

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it random icon'd the most appropriate thing

BEAUTIFUL

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