and i say it's worth it, too

[exsurgo]

[ He’d been wrong for so long. All those dreams, all that talk of being a hero, and it turns out doing the heroic stuff is kinda shitty. 13-year-old Zack Fair packing his bags to head off and join up with Shinra would have been horrified to even think it, but a quiet life is pretty damn good.

That’s what they have now, for the most part. Cloud hooked him up with a place to stay (in the same house as Cloud, but not in the same room) and a job (for Cloud’s delivery business – Cloud Strife, entrepreneur! Who’d have thought?), and even friends, even if Aerith smacks him in the arm (with tears in her eyes, to be fair) over all her unanswered letters. And it’s good. It’s good to have fighting be the rare exception rather than the norm, to get up early because he wants to rather than because he’ll get hauled into disciplinary proceedings if he doesn’t, to come home at the end of the day to meals they all pitch in to make and a table full of laughter. And it’s so, so good to be with Cloud. Even if he hasn’t been – you know, with Cloud.

Not that they haven’t been intimate! Some of the time they’ve spent together has felt more intimate, more naked than any of the sex they’d had before... everything. Times Cloud came into his room and held him close and ran quiet fingers through his hair after Zack woke up screaming from another dream about Cloud being trapped in that mako tank again. Times when they’d laid together on the bed and Cloud had told Zack what he remembered and Zack had filled in the blanks, wanting to be careful not to overwhelm him but so eager to share he almost couldn’t help it. And they’ve kissed, a few times, chastely and briefly – but there’s still a distance between them. Zack had thought Cloud might have had someone else, for a little while. Been convinced he was with Tifa, who is beautiful and funny and kind but not enough of any of those things for Zack not to feel relieved when she smiled at him and told him no, no. We tried it, but... it didn’t work out. It’s just... Cloud, keeping a kind and polite but pretty firm boundary between them.

It’s okay. It’s okay! A lot has changed! Cloud has been through so much that he seems like the older one now, and Zack had... died, maybe, but at least not been there for some literal world-endingly intense stuff. But he still loves Cloud, in that way where you know no matter what you do or what you try it’s not going away, and still wants him. So Zack does his best to be respectful, telling himself that if it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

That doesn’t mean he’s gonna turn down a chance to help it along, though. So when it’s a quiet evening and the house is empty but for the two of them – unheard of, but Barrett and the girls have taken the kids out to see some show – and the lights are low and Cloud is talking in his quiet, measured way about something that had happened out at work and Zack doesn’t hear a word of it because he’s thinking yet again about how gorgeous Cloud is -

well, who’s gonna hold it against him if he leans in and kisses Cloud right on the mouth?

...not Cloud, hopefully. ]

Comments

[exsurgo]

Nuh-uh. You're a cat. I'm the dog. One day you're gonna catch me [ pause for a yawn ] getting territorial and barking at all that wolf stuff you have around.

[ Cloud feels nice there. The pressure of his body over Zack's, gently weighing him down. Like an anchor keeping him safe, holding him steady. ]

[disheroic]

Just like a puppy.

[ reaching up to give zack's scalp an affectionate little scritch, drowsy and affectionate. ] Barking at your own reflection.

[exsurgo]

[ There's a little noise as that processes, not entirely like a dog making an inquisitive barauu? before he grins sleepily. ]

Aw, hell. Go to sleep before you make me cry again.

When we wake up... we can tell everyone. Start planning the wedding.

[ They were gonna be forever anyway, even if they hadn't figured this bit out. But it's still a good thought - one step closer to forever with everyone knowing it. ]

[disheroic]

Yeah.

[ he settles himself so that he's draped over zack like a security blanket, pressing a kiss to the other man's temple. sleep hasn't come easily to cloud in years, but now? there's a drowsiness that comes hand-in-hand with this kind of warm security, and he's more than happy to let himself be lulled into it.

only after he makes sure that zack is able to doze off soundly, of course. ]

We can. Whatever you want. [ this time around? he's going to give zack the world. ]