i love myself, i want you to love me
Nov. 13th, 2018 07:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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fourstrings[ It was just sparring. They’ve sparred countless times before, and sure, it’s sometimes made him a little… uncomfortable, but this time –
It wasn’t even today, that’s the worst part. He’s been stewing on it for three days – the way it had felt when he’d pinned Keith, the way Keith had looked up at him from under the press of his hips, the way Keith had smirked when Shiro told him to yield and wrapped his strong legs around Shiro’s waist and flipped them -
Three days is a long time to hold off, in the face of all that. At dinner Keith had stretched, and he wasn’t in that damn blades suit that leaves absolutely nothing about his fine musculature to the imagination, but his tshirt had ridden up and showed a stretch of skin that meant Shiro had hoovered down his food so as not to offend Hunk and then declared his intent for an early night. And now he’s in his room, alone with a bottle of lube he’d inconspicuously picked up on a trade moon. It’s a guilty sort of thing, and he really should be hurrying through it. Instead he’s luxuriating in every slippery stroke of his hand over the shaft of his cock, pressing his thumb against the slit in the head in tightly-rationed passes as he imagines Keith shifting from that pin and slipping a hand into Shiro’s pants, smirking at him as he exposes Shiro’s want, his need. Keith’s mouth, teasing over him and telling him the moment he moves it’s over, and that he can’t come until Keith says so. His own mouth on Keith’s cock, Keith’s hand fisted tight in his hair and guiding him to take him a little deeper with each pass. Keith with his front pressed against the wall of the showers, egging Shiro on, taking every inch of him and begging for more, more, more.
It’s not enough. It’ll never be enough, not when it’s not Keith, but this infatuation is Shiro’s burden to bear. He makes do with sloppily spilling more lube on his hand, pressing two fingers into his ass right off the bat – it hurts, a little, too much too soon, but that just spikes the pleasure through with something sharper and makes his breath hitch. He doesn’t even move them, really – just presses them in to the knuckle of his hand until that burn gives way to pleasure as he keeps stroking, too lost in the feeling of it to hear a knock at his door or remember that he gave Keith and entry code, told him to use it anytime. His breath is rough, little growls of need slipping out in spite of himself. ]
Fuck – yes - Keith -
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Date: 2018-11-13 06:36 am (UTC)and even though keith tells himself that it's probably just the stress of his position as captain, but... it doesn't help, not really. shiro is more than capable of taking care of himself, and keith knows that, but he also can't help but worry about him like some kind of dumb mother hen. after all, shiro is the type to put everyone else's needs before his own, so if there is something up with him? it falls to keith to figure out what's going on and strong-arm shiro into letting him help.
tonight just happens to be the final straw. shiro sucks down his food and leaves the table so abruptly that even lance wonders aloud if something is up, and that's what finally spurs keith into action. he waits a little bit because going right after shiro would probably just raise the alarm bells for the other paladins, but...
finally, after enough time has passed to keep it from seeming inconspicuous, he makes his way to shiro's room. his two knocks don't prompt any answer from inside, but... shiro did tell him it was fine to let himself inside whenever, and...
... so keith makes the worst (best) mistake of his life, and opens the door right on up.
it's nothing but sheer luck that no one else is in the hall, because once keith comes face-to-face with what shiro is doing, he immediately gets rooted to the spot. shiro spread out on his bed, two fingers knuckle-deep inside himself and hand working on his cock, legs spread and skin glistening with sweat. it's hands down the hottest fucking thing keith has ever seen, and that's before shiro adds to it by groaning out keith like it's a dirty word and a prayer all at once, and --
he gets rudely startled from staring at shiro like a deer in the headlights of a robobeast when he hears distant voices starting to filter down the hall, and instinct kicks in. which is why he takes a step into the room and slams the door behind him, because like hell!!!! is he letting anyone else see shiro like this.
... it occurs to him about fifteen seconds too late that he probably should have also left. ]
... shit.
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Date: 2018-11-13 06:49 am (UTC)and then something falls into place with a clank that says broken and all at once Shiro opens his eyes, sees Keith, and immediately releases his grip on his cock to flip the covers over himself. His bed isn't small, but he's a big guy and he's laying in the middle of it - the corner he manages to grab falls over his crotch, and not much more.
Why can't he beat off under the covers like a normal person? ]
Keith -
[ He chokes it out, nervous. Realizes his fingers are still pressed inside himself and slips them out, making an involuntary little grunt as he does. ]
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Date: 2018-11-13 06:58 am (UTC)oh.
oh.
oh god. ]
Fuck, I should go, I'm so -- [ finally remembering to jerk his eyes away, fumbling blindly for the door handle behind him. ] I didn't see anything, fuck, I didn't mean --
[ WHY CAN'T HE REMEMBER TO WORK A DOOR ]
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Date: 2018-11-13 07:08 am (UTC)[ Shiro can't... look at Keith, so he's sort of assuming that Keith has, in fact, turned around while Shiro struggles back into his pants, and his shirt, and then for good measure pulls the covers up over himself so only his face is showing. He'd cover that too, if he didn't need it to talk. ]
I'm... Keith, I'm so sorry. That -
uh -
[ fuck, did he say Keith's name? Did Keith hear it? ]
How long have you been there?
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Date: 2018-11-13 07:23 am (UTC)keith can't exactly run away after shiro asks him not to, especially when keith was the one who barged in and ruined shiro's Private Gentleman's Time in the first place. so he turns around and claps one hand over his eyes (as if that'll help protect shiro's virtue extra), trying to will his dick to calm the fuck down.
. . .
no such luck.
and when shiro speaks, it startles him right out of the mental link he was trying to establish with his own genitals, so. he blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind, which (unfortunately) happens to be the truth. ]
You said my name.
[ ... urk. ] Fuck, I mean --
[ but now that his dumb brain has latched onto it, it doesn't want to let... go. ] You said my name.
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Date: 2018-11-13 07:32 am (UTC)this is a nightmare
he's back with the Galra, he's still in captivity, and this time when he staged his little rebellion about killing anything that was clearly sentient instead of starving him out and giving him injections to make him aggressive and hungry they've decided to torture him with the most humiliating scenario possible.
The upside of that thought is that maybe - just maybe - if he rides this out and keeps refusing to kill, they'll just put him down like a pit dog that won't fight. ]
I'm... so sorry. I wouldn't - I would never -
I'm so sorry.
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Date: 2018-11-13 07:38 am (UTC)keith's brain loses. ]
I could help you.
[ he blurts it out so suddenly that it almost startles himself, but... once it's out there? well. keith has never been one to back down. ] If you wanted?
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Date: 2018-11-13 07:47 am (UTC)There's quiet for a moment, and for just a second Shiro's ears are ringing. That might be something to do with blood flow, because all the blood that rushed from his dick to his face when he realized Keith had seen him jerking off over Keith has made a sudden migration back into his dick, and if Shiro wasn't such a big guy with a lot of blood to go around, he'd probably have fainted.
But still, that's... that's one hell of an offer. ]
Only - only if you want to. Want to for you, not just... just to help.
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Date: 2018-11-13 07:53 am (UTC)[ well. clearly keith is either dead or he's transported himself straight to the astral plane of his shiro-related fantasies, because there's no way this is happening. so! that means it's fine to just... go with it, right?
sure.
cool.
he can do this. just two dudes who are friends, helping each other out because of... friendship. no need to think more about it! ] Yeah, I definitely want to.
[ and with that settled, he... makes his way across the room and settles down on the bed next to shiro, hesitating for a moment before he reaches out to take a little corner of that sheet and tug at it. almost like he's asking for permission here, testing boundaries. ]
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Date: 2018-11-13 07:59 am (UTC)[ He didn't... really mean to say that out loud, but this is a very strange night anyway. Keith tugs at a corner of the sheet and Shiro shrugs it away, lets it puddle around him, and -
well, honestly, he kind of regrets getting dressed. It would be one thing if he was naked under there, but stripping off again - that's intent. That's big. He starts slow, pulls his shirt off so he's sitting there in just his pants ( really just his pants, since he didn't bother to put underwear on in his earlier haste), and bites his lip. ]
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Date: 2018-11-13 08:09 am (UTC)[ it's all he can think to say, because shiro strips off his shirt, and keith feels the heat flush into his veins. it's not the first time he's seen shiro shirtless, but it's different like this, where he's tempted by how easy it would be to reach out and touch.
... but. would that make it weird? all shiro really agreed to was keith helping him do what he'd been doing earlier, so...
there's another moment of hesitation, and then keith reaches out, sliding one hand up shiro's thigh until he's able to wrap one hand around the obvious tent in shiro's sweatpants and squeeze. ]
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Date: 2018-11-13 08:15 am (UTC)But Keith is still - he's still too far away, and too dressed, and Shiro clenches his jaw for a moment while he summons up the courage to ask. ]
Can - can I kiss you? I -
I really want to kiss you.
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Date: 2018-11-14 06:54 am (UTC)and that's not news to keith; it's impossible to look at him without noticing it, from the size of his muscles in his biceps and thighs to the width of his shoulders. he and keith have even compared the sizes of their hands before -- and the result of that experiment left keith feeling oddly hot and bothered for a solid week before he could shake it off, mind preoccupied with how it might feel to have those big hands splayed over the rest of him.
so, yeah. shiro is big.
... which is why it shouldn't be a surprise that his cock is sized to match, but. maybe there's a difference between knowing something and having your hand wrapped around it, because fuck. just the feel of it, thick and hard and hot even through the soft fabric of shiro's sweats is enough to make keith dizzy with want, and when shiro pushes up just that little bit into his touch? keith can't help a low groan of his own, swallowing hard and squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment as he tries desperately to get back his own composure.
but they snap back open again at shiro's request, and keith feels a blush spreading across his cheeks that has nothing to do with the flush of desire already there. it's... dangerous. kissing feels way more intimate that one good pal helping another good pal out with their Hard Dick Problems, but... keith also wants it so badly that he can't think straight to remind himself why he shouldn't, which is why he crumbles like an overbaked pastry. ]
Yeah. [ breathless, nodding hard in punctuation. ] Yeah, that'd be... cool.
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Date: 2018-11-14 07:08 am (UTC)But now? Keith says yes and Shiro grabs his face, prying Keith's mouth open with his own lips and spilling his tongue into him with a heated hunger that he doesn't even try to disguise. He moans at it, rolling hips hips up again into the warmth of Keith's touch. It's like a dream, and he halfway has to hold on to that thought to see it through - that it's just his fantasy made real, that this Keith isn't his Keith, that he doesn't need to worry about treating him with anything less than the reverence he deserves. ]
Fuck, you're so hot.
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Date: 2018-11-18 05:16 am (UTC)(okay, so. while he's at it? keith takes a moment to thank his own subconscious for crafting shiro's dick like it's something that should be in a museum for penile greatness.) ]
I -- uh, yeah, you too, I --
[ very smooth. so he decides to just kiss shiro back inside of letting his treacherous mouth attempt at more fumbling attempts at sexy talk, squeezing shiro through the fabric of his sweats and groaning again at the way he can feel shiro's dick throb in answer. it's impossible to resist, and incredibly fortunate that it happens to be a pair of sweats with the open slit in front -- that makes it easy enough to just shove his hand right on in there and draw shiro out, breaking away from the kiss so that he can look at him properly as he wraps his hand around shiro's bare length.
there's only one thing to say about it, really: ]
... wow.
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Date: 2018-12-11 09:53 am (UTC)and then Keith kisses him back, squeezes his dick in a way that makes Shiro feel the answering throb through his whole body, and then goes ahead and just pulls him right out. It's a lot, all at once - the cooler air against his straining, overheated dick, the feeling of Keith's bare hand wrapping around him, Keith's eyes on him - and then he says wow and Shiro makes a sounds that's half a laugh and half a helpless moan. ]
Thanks? That feels -
[ and that's when he makes the mistake of looking down. Keith has beautiful hands; they're fine-boned and long-fingered, and Shiro has been embarrassingly distracted by the deftness with which Keith handles a blade more than once. Seeing one of those same hands wrapped around his own cock floods him with pure arousal (kind of a feat, considering how turned on he was already) and he moans again without thinking. ]
God. I mean - feels good.