There's solace, a bit, in submitting

[bde]

[ At first, Shiro just thinks it's him.

He's not blind, he's noticed that Keith isn't the cute-but-rowdy kid he used to know any more. More than he'd like to admit to, really, to the point where he has a little highlight reel of especially exciting thoughts that sometimes keep him company in bed at night. He's just usually a lot better at keeping it contained, squashing those moments of appreciation until they're not happening at a wildly inappropriate times, like when they spar. Or when they're all in mortal peril, piloting the lions in an attempt to take out a huge, many-limbed creature that looks as if its made of living magma before it descends on a nearby village of terrified aliens. But today, that's what they're doing, and the squashing isn't happening.

It's just a warm pulse of something at first, but it steadily ramps up into something more explicit. Fucking Keith against the door of the hangar bay, his wrists pinned above his head as he gasps and growls in pleasure. Keith pinned against the bed by one metal hand pressed firm at the back of his neck, canting his hips up greedily, his demands for more no less insistent for being muffled against the bedding. It's hot, it's overwhelming, and it takes Lance, Pidge and Hunk all yelling in various pitches of alarm over the comms as Shiro nearly flies Black straight into a cliffside to snap him out of it.

It's only then, with their shouts echoing in his mind and the throb of adrenaline from a near-miss that Shiro comes back to himself enough to realize that the images flooding his mind are subtly wrong. When he thinks about Keith this way the focus is all on Keith, the way his cheeks might flush dark with want, the sounds he'd make, the lean lines of clean muscle hinted at under his clothes when they spar and glimpsed in the showers. What's in his head now features rather a lot of himself, impressions that linger on the size of his hands and the broadness of his torso, the movement of his lips as he speaks to Keith in low, wanting tones. It's only in that moment of clarity that he realizes he's not unable to focus the way he should because he's suddenly and unaccountably horny.

It's coming from Keith.

He takes his hand off the controls for a moment to press against the console, pleads with Black for help. He manages to pick up the simultaneous impression of both amusement and exasperation, and then there's a sensation of muffling as Black helps him block it out, to give him a little distance. Lance is yelling at him that they need to form Voltron, but they can't risk it – he doesn't know what's happening with Keith but it's enough for him to think it'll impede things, and the idea of something so personal bleeding over to Shiro is bad enough; he's not going to put Keith in a position that guarantees it'll be shared with the rest of the team, not unless there's no other way.

In the end, it's a lot of clever flying, tactical precision from Pidge, a blast of ice from the Blue lion and Shiro and Hunk ramming the thing from opposite sides that saves them. The rapid cooling followed by tremendous impact turns the creature to brittle rock that shatters, but Shiro can't find it in himself to join in the victory whoops when it happens.

When they land, he makes a beeline for Red. Walking while half-hard in armor isn't an experience he'd care to repeat, but it's a minor inconvenience in comparison to his concern. ]

Keith. Open up.

Comments

[bde]

[ Keith moans, and between that and the billow of his scent that's rolled out of the Red lion to flood Shiro's sense it's all he can do not to throw Keith to the floor and take him right there. But there's enough between them to give him just enough strength to respect that, to want to make this a choice. Shiro swallows hard enough that the click of his throat is audible, wets his lips, but he can't quite make his fingers uncurl from Keith's arm. ]

I saw - I felt -

Keith, I can help you. You don't have to do this alone. I can - I can make it good for you. Please.

[feralistic]

Fuck.

[ it'd be so easy. all keith has to say is yes, and he could make every single one of those vibrant fantasies into something very real. they're close enough that it's impossible to miss the smell of rut starting to scent the air between them, and keith knows damn well that shiro is the type of person who would do anything to help out a friend. and there's nothing wrong with that, is there? people pull off the friends-with-benefits thing all the time, and if it's more for keith, then he can keep it close enough to be the kind of secret that doesn't have to hurt anyone --

but he can't do it. ]

No. [ and his voice is raw with the effort of saying it, because everything in him is screaming yes please yes. ] I can't --

[ he sucks in another breath, even though the smell of shiro does absolutely nothing to steady him. ] You'd do it because we're friends, because you're a good person, and I -- I can't --

[ take advantage of you, even though that sounds like something someone might say to preserve the dignity of a delicate, blushing maiden. ]

... it'd mean more to me.

[ and out of every way keith has ever let himself entertain the thought of spilling out his feelings to shiro, this scenario was never on the list. he'd always at least figured that he could keep his dignity through the whole thing -- then again, with his luck? this is probably about what he should have expected. ]

[bde]

[ No, says Keith, and something darkly possessive inside Shiro that was there long before he knew of this kicks and screams in protest. But a no is a no, and Shiro starts consciously breathing through his mouth in the hope of stalling the feeling that's already starting to boil within him. He uncurls his fingers from Keith's arm in a forced, staggered movement, like it hurts to do it, and when he smiles there's absolutely no joy in it. His laugh is a dark thing, bitter as aloes. ]

That wouldn't be why. I'm not that good.

[ He takes a step back, and when he scrubs his hand over his face it lingers for a moment over his nose and mouth, like the metal could block out the scent of Keith. It would be so easy to blame Keith's heat, the connection the Lions give them. Chances are he'd never have said anything on his own, never have risked his love for Keith and Keith's respect for him, their friendship, on something so selfish. That should absolve him at least a little, surely.

It still hurts to have his belief that it'd never happen confirmed. ]

I should go. Get to medical, call Coran. I'm sure he can put together something to help your symptoms, at least.

If -

[ If you change your mind, he wants to say, but every moment he spends near Keith, breathing him in, is a moment closer to begging. He won't make Keith watch that. He tries another smile, more genuine, this time - no hard feelings? - and turns for the door. ]

[feralistic]

[ that wouldn't be why, shiro says, and there are a long few moments where that shuts down every other thought in keith's head. a desperate sort of hope blooms up inside him like ivy, climbing over every inch of him even despite the way he tries to tell himself that shiro can't mean --

but the realization that shiro is leaving is enough to jerk keith out of his fog, and he's reaching out before he can help himself. this time it's his turn to grab shiro's arm, clutching at him like a lifeline. ] No.

I -- [ he swallows hard, mouth dry. ]

... so why?

[ he has to hear shiro say it. he has to know. ]

[bde]

[ He wants to jerk his arm away. He should, if he knows what's good for him. And then Keith asks, and the instincts that are still Shiro and not a horny mess of Alpha tell him to flee, to get out while the getting's good and salvage at least a little of his reputation.

But. It wouldn't be fair. Keith's been hiding this, that much is obvious. Shiro would have known a long time ago, otherwise. But now he's seen the graphic thoughts that ran through Keith's head, he's smelled the sweet, undeniable truth of his scent. He knows Keith's secret.

It's only right that he offer one up himself. When he pulls his arm back, his smile is apologetic. ]

Because I love you.

[ As if it's that simple. It is, in some ways, and in others it's a real goddamn mess. ]

I'm sorry.

[feralistic]

Oh.

[ which is the worst way in the universe to respond to that sort of confession, but it gets punched out of him before keith can help it. it's beyond anything that even his wildest hopes ever let him believe he would hear -- he keeps turning the sound of it over and over inside his head, as if he'll find something that'll make the words splinter and turn into something that makes more sense.

shiro loves him. shiro loves him? shiro loves him.

... and shiro wants him.

wants him in a way that has nothing to do with helping out a friend, wants him in a way that's more than an alpha looking to scratch an itch. wants him in a way that keith's heat didn't cause, wants him in a way that means he wasn't manipulated into it by biology or his own self-sacrificial goodness. shiro wants him the same way that keith wants shiro -- something hot and greedy and possessive, something that wants to resolve itself into tenderness and sweet nothings once all is said and done.

it's too damn much to process.

and keith hauls shiro closer in the same moment that he stumbles forward, barely even aware of what he's doing before he actually goes and does it. when he presses his mouth against shiro's, it's something searing -- all that want that's been bottled up in him for so long has finally found its outlet in this, and the end result is hungry and messy and half-wild with need.

... but the rest of it is just as important, which is why keith finally rips himself away just so that he can say: ] I love you, too. Feels like I always have, for so long, I --

[ he can't stop himself from pressing up against shiro, moans a low noise against the other man's shoulder as he grinds his dick into shiro's hip. ] Shiro --

[bde]

[ Shiro's hands are in Keith's hair the instant their lips meet, clutching in a way he's done so many times in fantasy. When Keith pulls back Shiro leans forward unconsciously, chasing him for a moment before he realizes Keith actually wants to speak. And then he does, and Christ. It's everything Shiro's wanted to hear, everything he couldn't let himself hope for. For a moment it's dizzyingly wonderful -

and then Keith grinds against him and moans, and reminds Shiro that a confession like that coming now is... complicated, at best. It takes the last of his self-control to say it, but it has to be said. ]

No strings, okay? If you change your mind after, I won't hold it against you.

[feralistic]

No, I want --

[ keith huffs a frustrated little noise, nipping at the skin of shiro's throat like that'll help get the point across. it's tough to string his thoughts together into something coherent, but he needs to -- it's important that shiro knows this isn't just the heat talking, knows that keith has never needed this stupid chemical cocktail to make shiro the absolute center of his universe. ]

I want strings. [ and just getting out that much feels like a monumental effort, so he rewards himself by leaning up and stealing another kiss off of shiro's mouth. ] You're the only one I've ever --

[ his breath breaks around another little groan, and he curls his fingers around the edges of shiro's armor to steady himself. ] I want you to be mine. I want you to make me yours. Shiro, if we do this and I couldn't ever have you again afterwards, it'd kill me, I --

[bde]

Keith.

[ It's rough, low, and he presses against Keith only to growl in frustration when the pressure he feels is armor and not Keith. ]

Yeah. Yeah, I want that too. I want - everything.

[ He ducks his head for another kiss, open and wet, needy. Now, says something in him, right now, and it's all he can do not to suggest just that. ]

My room?

[feralistic]

[ just that, the sound of keith and the little growl shiro makes right after, and keith is damn sure he's going to combust. it's fortunate that the kiss that follows gives him something to channel all that fire into, but it's still not enough. ]

Your room. [ thrilling at the sound of it, trying to pull shiro backwards and towards the hall even as he drags him down for another kiss. ]

[bde]

Can't -

[ His protest is cut off, because with a kiss on offer he can hardly refuse. He seeks out Keith's tongue with his own, slippery-firm in the heat of his mouth, and he blinks for a moment after he finally pulls away. ]

Can't walk and kiss at the same time, Keith.

[ It's a biology thing, for sure. The way Keith's scent has coiled into him and pushed him into rut is the only possible explanation for the fact that his solution is to scoop Keith into his arms and all but run for his room, taking advantage of the seconds it takes to fumble open the pad for entry to take another kiss before he crashes through the door. ]

[feralistic]

[ they absolutely can walk and kiss at the same time, especially if they devote enough time to practicing at it, and keith is more than willing to make that argument. or, well, he was, right up until shiro scooped him up into his arms and took off running down the hall. it's such a silly thing to do that keith can't help but laugh, breathless with the same sort of thrill and anticipation he always got when shiro snuck him out of the garrison to go hoverbike racing.

but he loops his arms around the other man's neck and leans up eagerly into that kiss, even though he muffles another laugh against shiro's mouth as they go crashing into the room with exactly none percent of shiro's usual grace and composure.

listen, it's impossible to resist the opportunity to rag on him a little? ]

So Captain Shirogane can't multitask, huh? [ grinning, his voice still rough with desire through the amusement. ] Just wait until I tell everyone.

[bde]

[ Considering it's Keith who got him onto this state, that's incredibly unfair! So Shiro makes the only rebuttal he can think of - he puts Keith down, backs him up against the door, and immediately starts unfastening his armor with hands far more precise than they were at the door. ]

Do you want me multitasking? Or do you want me focused right here, on you?

[ It's probably cheating to move his hand between Keith's legs and press against the swell beneath his undersuit, but hey. Keith started it. ]

[feralistic]

[ well, when shiro puts it that way. ]

On me. [ the response is immediate and shameless, punctuated by the way he reaches up to drag shiro down to him for another kiss. just the thought of it -- shiro's attention focused solely on him, only for him -- sends a thrill of heat all the way up his spine; he rocks his hips forward into shiro's hand with a low moan that gets muffled into the other man's mouth, nipping at the alpha's lower lip. ] On me, only me.

[ trailing a line of kisses along shiro's jaw, grazing his teeth against his earlobe. ] I want to make sure you can't think about anyone else.

[bde]

Good. Good.

[ The sounds Keith makes are so good that despite his near-desperate desire to get Keith naked, Shiro lingers for a moment, kneading at the swell of Keith's dick. The feel of Keith's teeth against his ear makes him hum a sound so low it's halfway to a growl, and that reminds him of the task at hand.

Honestly, it would probably be both easier and faster to let Keith undress himself. Shiro won't stand for it; Keith is his, and the honor of undressing him belongs to Shiro. He lets the pieces of armor thump against the floor, and pauses a moment once Keith is down to the undersuit, running appreciative hands over the form of him beneath that tight black fabric. ]

God, look at you. I'm the luckiest man alive.

[feralistic]

[ as impatient as keith is known for being, there's a certain thrill in letting shiro strip his armor off him piece by piece. keith's skin is singing with the desire to have shiro touch him with nothing in the way; each layer that shiro peels off him inches him closer to that goal, and the anticipation hums through his system like a livewire. and when he's finally down to his undersuit, it's built up so much that he's almost trembling with it -- everything in him aches, wants, needs, and there's not a doubt in keith's mind that shiro is the only one who can give it to him. ]

Yeah?

[ because while keith might otherwise love to argue that there's no way shiro is as lucky as he is, there are more important matters at hand.

he flattens his hands on shiro's chest and pushes, using his body weight and the element of surprise to shove the other man back and herd him towards the bed. once his legs hit the edge, one last firm shove is enough to get shiro sitting down on it, and then keith can step back a little, finding the hidden seams of the bodysuit and working them loose. peeling it off slowly, eyes locked on shiro the entire time, showing himself off and drinking in the other man's reaction like wine.

and only once he's discarded that last piece of clothing does he prowl forward, slotting himself right into shiro's lap and grabbing at one of the other man's wrists. taking it and guiding him, sliding shiro's hand down his back until he can guide it between his legs, making sure that shiro can feel how turned on he is, so wet that the slick has already started dripping down his thighs. ]

Look how hot you got me, Shiro. [ voice a low purr, eyes dark and hungry. ] You feel how ready I am for you?

[ and then he leans forward, nipping at the other man's lower lip playfully. ] Promise, I haven't even shown you lucky yet.

[bde]

[ Keith guides Shiro back onto the bed and then it's all he can do to watch, dumb and helpless and horny as Keith moves. He moves like a panther, beautiful and graceful and dangerous. Shiro's almost hypnotized by it, by the movement of Keith's body, all flushing skin and whipcord-lean muscle. And then he moves into Shiro's lap and guides his hand and this time, Shiro does growl. Close and bare like this, the scent of Keith is stronger than ever and it makes the need in Shiro's cock and under his ribs boil.

He leans in, catches Keith mouth in another kiss as he pushes in, slips a finger into that slick heat and moans into Keith's mouth just for the feel of it, his free hand gripping Keith's bare hip bruising tight. ]

So show me.

[feralistic]

[ for all his posturing, keith is absolutely undone by the way that shiro responds to him. just the feeling of shiro sliding a finger into him is enough to make him moan a needy noise in the kiss, rocking his hips down against the other man's hand and whining a needy little noise when it doesn't even begin to fill him up in the way that he needs.

show me, shiro says, and keith would honestly move heaven and earth just to fucking obey.

but his brain is temporarily fried in the wake of that; his fingers scrabble uselessly over the smooth surface of shiro's paladin armor, unable to find the seams that he should know like the back of his hand. every base instinct is howling at him to find a way to have shiro fuck him now, and keith didn't even know it was possible to need something half this much.

he breaks the kiss with another whine, dropping his forehead against shiro's shoulder and reaching down to palm and his own dick in search of something, anything, to help take the edge off. ] Please.

Shiro, please, I --

[bde]

Shh, shh. I've got you, baby. I'm gonna take care of you.

[ There's no other word but regret for the fact that Shiro has to slip that finger out of Keith in order to get his armor off, but it's quickly forgotten once Shiro lifts his hand to do so. The scent of Keith has already driven him half-mad, he didn't think anything could possibly get more intense than that first wave that poured out of Red after had Keith had been in there stewing in his own heat for hours, but this?

Shiro's got his finger in his mouth before he even realizes he's doing it, the first curious lick turning very quickly into sucking it dry. And it's like it flips a switch - very quickly, he's lifting Keith to deposit him on the bed and shucking his armor carelessly, letting each piece fall where it will. He fumbles the catch at the back of his undersuit and, with a growl, grasps the front of it with his Galra hand, pulling it out from his body, and one brief flare of purple light later? There's enough of a hole in it for Shiro to just tear it away from his body and leave the tatters of it on the floor. ]

[feralistic]

[ oh.

the sight of shiro sucking his fingers clean of keith's slick has been a fantasy for so long that it's almost a shock to see it actually play out in front of him -- but the rush of arousal that follows hits him like a physical punch to the gut, makes him moan something low and wanting.

it's why he whines when shiro plops him on the bed right after, but --

well, fuck.

keith has never been even the slightest bit impressed by any show of alpha dogma -- if anything, it's a turn-off, watching some idiot try to show themselves off with some display of dominance or aggression. and sure, maybe this isn't exactly the same thing, but it sure as hell seems like what any alpha in any trashy novel would do, and...

... frankly, keith doesn't think he's ever been more turned on in his entire fucking life.

for a moment or two, all he can do is stare at shiro, pupils blown wide and dark, eyes glazed with desire, lips parted with a look that's just sort of slack-jawed. he's looking at shiro like a starving man presented with a feast, like a bomb could go off in the next room and it wouldn't even be enough to make him blink. ]

Fuck [ which is about the most eloquent he's capable of being, given his current state. immediately he reaches out in an effort to pull shiro to him again, greedy and grasping, arching up like he's begging to be touched. ] I need you, I need you, Shiro, c'mon --

[bde]

Need you.

[ It's an echo, and probably enough to undo a lot of that Big Strong Alpha vibe his desperation to get out of his undersuit gave him when it comes out soft and halfway to a whine. But Keith tugs at him and so he goes, climbing onto the bed. It's... tempting, the way Keith is positioned, just to fit himself between Keith's legs and mount him, but there's something that's run through his own head over and over when he thought he'd never have a chance at any of this.

He pulls himself into a sitting position, hauls Keith up and sits him in his lap. He's not even in yet but the feeling of his cock pressing between Keith's thighs, slippery with his slick, makes Shiro moan. He reaches down again, presses into Keith with two fingers this time, and whether it's the force of his heat or sheer desire they go so easy that Shiro curses under his breath. It shouldn't be possible to feel so tight and so ready at the same time, and Shiro finds himself suddenly grateful for whatever black market suppressant junk Keith's been taking until now, because if anyone else had any idea he was like this? He'd have been claimed years ago. ]

[feralistic]

[ keith is more than happy to be hauled into shiro's lap, automatically trying to wind himself around the other man again like a vine. he can't get himself close enough to shiro -- every inch of his skin is begging for contact, and if there was a way to wrap himself up completely in the other man? he'd do it. without question, without hesitation, until they could melt together into something whole and perfect.

when shiro presses two fingers into him, keith arches, throwing his head back with a guttural sound of need. but it melts into a whine when his body has time to realize that it isn't what he really wants; keith rocks down against shiro with a desperate, breathless sort of noise, grinding his hips down against the fingers inside him because he can't help himself. ]

No, no, not your fingers -- [ mouthing at shiro's jaw, open-mouthed kisses with the barest hint of teeth. ] I want your cock in me, Shiro. Mount me, mate me, fuck me, that's what I need.

[bde]

[ Male omegas being as rare as they are, and Shiro's experience being what it was, he's only used to this kind of sex being a slow process of opening up and gentling in. He's never felt the raw, animal side of himself hunger for someone this way, and once Keith makes his demand? It's impossible not to obey.

He withdraws his fingers and doesn't bother wiping them off before he lifts Keith, takes himself in hand to line up and then sinks Keith down onto him in one easy slide and -

and the world shatters. ]

Keith!

[feralistic]

[ shiro presses into him in one perfect slide, and something in keith snaps like a cord finally pulled too tight. he'd been worked up for so long before this that maybe it isn't any real surprise -- but that first thrust is all it takes to make him come for the first time, head thrown back and spine arched and voice struggling to make shiro's name out of the senseless little cry that escapes him.

fuck, if this is what it's like for everyone, then maybe it's no wonder alphas and omegas are so stupid about the whole sex thing. ]

[bde]

Oh, fuck.

[ It takes Shiro a moment to realize Keith's come - or perhaps, more accurately, that Keith's come and he hasn't, because the hot, slick press of Keith's body around his cock twitches and seizes and the sensation of pleasure that shoots through Shiro is dizzying just for the physical sensation. It's what comes after that clues him in, the fierce, animal pride that surges through him, telling him the mate he's chosen is a good one and good for him, that he's won him by giving this pleasure and should keep him close, keep him forever to fill and fuck and own and be owned by. It's an alien sensation to a man who'd been so ready to leave behind what he'd been convinced was true love in order to follow his dreams and with it something in him comes unmoored, leaves him adrift to be tossed in the waves and capsized by the strength in what he's feeling.

His hands fix tight on Keith's hips, the muscle and machinery of his arms tensing and straining to lift the smaller man and pull him down again, driven and determined. ]

Mine. You're mine, Keith, mine.