to swing on the spiral of our divinity

[anthophilia]

[ Wolfwood’s worked in private security for a while, but never in a role as public as for a pop star. This is probably thanks to his… occasionally shady past; little bits here and there in his history that make him ideal for, say, Saudi royalty who believe (rightly or otherwise) that every corner they turn is potentially hiding someone ready to make an attempt on their life, who’ll need to be taken out expediently. So it’s kind of a surprise to get a call from an annoyingly silky-voiced PA about working daily with one of the biggest names in music. Wolfwood’s honest about his history, and surprised to learn that they know exactly what kind of things he’s been up to and that it’s exactly why they want him. Apparently there’d been a credible threat against their golden goose and the previous security had responded in a way they found… lacking. So Wolfwood had met with the PA, and the met with the producer, and now he’s in an elevator on his way to meet with the star himself. The last hurdle, because as the producer in question had put it, he needs to trust you, and I need to trust you with him.

It's a job. It’s just a job. But there’s a part of Wolfwood that’s screaming internally to keep it cool, because although likes to think he’s too jaded to have favourites, he definitely had a favourite artist when he was about 19. He’d spent countless hours laying on his bed with the best headphones he could afford, eyes closed, soaking up the music. A tangle of discordant melodies and arrhythmic beats all layered one on top of the other until they somehow made a glorious, perfect whole, all laid over with grim and cutting lyrics sung in such a sweet voice it was like poetry. And the singer himself was a perfect reflection of the music – a long red coat made up of so many straps and buckles and strips of leather that it evoked an avant-garde straightjacket, chunky black boots that came so high up the singer’s long, long legs that they must have been about crotch-height on an average person. Blond hair spiked vertically, like a warning, and in the middle of all that a face as sweetly beautiful as an angel’s. Wolfwood had also thought he was too cool for crushes, but he’d definitely been nursing one on that singer. Vash. Vash had released two poorly-selling albums of the best music Wolfwood had ever heard - Stampede and Typhoon - and then promptly vanished off the face of the music industry.

Vanished until he’d come back years later, with a softer coat and softer hair and the same sharp lyrics but set to the kind of pop beats that make Wolfwood begrudge the way he taps his foot, and put said industry in a chokehold. Now his music is playing on tv and radio everywhere Wolfwood goes. Teens dance to his music all over tiktok and pack out stadiums where the tickets are in such demand they’re sold by lottery, and still at prices that make Wolfwood wince. Even the producer and co-writer has had an image makeover – it almost startled Wolfwood to recognise the slick music mogul Nai was the same man who’d been credited as the (unhinged-sounding) Knives on the albums Wolfwood had loved so much. All in all, it’s pretty embarrassing – but nowhere near embarrassing enough to put him off the pay they’re offering.

The elevator dings its arrival, and the blue-haired PA rolls his eyes at the way Wolfwood adjusts his very best suit and leads him into the biggest, fanciest penthouse suite Wolfwood’s ever laid eyes on – Saudi royalty included – and murmurs I’ll let you two get acquainted before installing himself at the back of the room and making a very poor show of being focused on his ipad, not the other two men in the room. Vash is leaned in close to a laptop, headphones on, focused on something so deeply that it puts a little furrow in his brow, so Wolfwood awkwardly tries to edge into his field of view and… waits. It’s probably gonna fuck this whole deal to demand his attention, right? ]

Comments

[spiculatus]

[ it's not like The Security Incident (like nai has taken to calling it) was even a big deal.

sure, vash managed to slip his team of security guards and leave backstage a little earlier than the schedule planned, but it was only because he was tired of getting bustled past his fans after every concert. just once, he'd wanted to linger just a little while with them, maybe sign some autographs if he could, or just take a selfie or two! and it's not like he holds it against any of them for getting excited -- he can't imagine that any of them ever wanted to hurt him, but the energy was already cranked up, and when the pushing and shoving started...

some of them had started grabbing at him. just to get his attention, vash is sure that's all it was! but it had gotten a little out of hand, and by the time his security team had finally muscled him back to the safety of backstage, his glasses had gotten lost in the chaos, his prosthetic arm had nearly been wrenched from its socket, and someone had managed to grab hold of his earring and tear it loose.

it led to another fight with nai, because these days it never seems to take much, and nai's never had any sort of tolerance for seeing vash hurt. firing the entire security team despite vash's protests, heated attempts to try and cancel the tour midway through, and finally the fight had iced over into nai holing up in the office building of his label instead of coming back to the penthouse they share, only communicating to vash through the occasional clipped message from legato or... this.

at least two hours of new music that he'd clearly sat down and hashed out onto his piano all at once, all of it oscillating between intense and angry and pleading and a mess of other feelings it seems like nai has forgotten how to say to him in person. no lyrics this time, because nai speaks in music instead of words when he's at his most upset, but vash doesn't need --

and then he jerks, catching wolfwood standing in his peripheral vision for the first time. he has to blink hard to pull himself back from the music, reaching up to tug his headphones off and sliding the nothing's-ever-been-wrong grin back onto his face. ]

Oh! Hi! Sorry, I was caught up in -- [ a hand flap towards the laptop, not bothering to finish the thought. ] You must be... the new security guy? [ is that interview supposed to be today? what even is today? ]

[anthophilia]

[ Oh, shit.

That smile's kinda painful to see. It's bright and welcoming but so obviously fake in the way it plasters over the complex look of concern that had been there before, and professional Wolfwood files that away for future reference - if he gets this job, he probably won't always be able to rely on Vash to tell him if something's wrong. He'll have to rely on his own intuition about a situation. Professional Wolfwood is fine with this; he's good at reading people.

The part of Wolfwood that's still a teenage fan, however, has a whole different struggle. False as that smile is, it's still really something to have it turned on him, and Wolfwood shifts his weight slightly and wishes he hadn't decided it would be unprofessional to show up with his sunglasses on for a first meeting. He could've used the small measure of protection the dark lenses would have given him from a grin like pure sunlight. ]

Hopefully. [God willing, he might have said, except this really feels like more of a Nai willing situation. His smile quirks to the side, half embarrassed and half inviting Vash in on the joke.] Name's Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Here to humbly submit myself for your approval.

[spiculatus]

[ the hopefully makes vash blink, and then there’s a little laugh and another wave of his hand like he’s shooing the notion away. ]

Don’t worry! If you’re here, you’ve already got the job. [ because this isn’t the kind of decision nai has really ever left up to him, and the whole step of pretending like vash has the final say has always felt more like a thin effort to make him feel included in the process than anything genuine. ] Welcome to the… uh, well, it used to be a team, but I think it’s maybe just you? For right now, at least.

[anthophilia]

[ It feels like a thought that should already have occurred to him. Nai did seem the type to only let someone into the same room as Vash if he was already 100% sure about them, although the way Vash tells it seems to imply he wouldn't get a veto even if he wanted it. That thought's a little sad, and not only because that part of Wolfwood that remembers being a smitten teen would have gone nuts to think he had Vash's approval. Still, it tells him one way in which the job's going to be easier - if Nai is the one whose approval he needs, that means doing what it takes to keep his client safe and not having to pause to check whether said client is happy with it. Wolfwood looks over to the PA, and gets approximately half a second in which he looks up from his little ipad to shrug one white-clad shoulder at Wolfwood before returning to his work, and Wolfwood chooses to take that as confirmation. ]

Well, if you don't have any questions for me...

[ He shrugs. Judging by the number of key fobs, passcodes, and the iris scan involved in getting him up here, there's probably not a lot of bodyguarding needed in the guy's own home. ]

You want a coffee or somethin'?

[spiculatus]

[ oh! this is... already off script. usually the security guys that knives hires want to start running the show right away -- it's a list of do this and don't do that, or they start marching around the apartment in search of locks to be changed and alarms to be set. so... ]

Coffee? [ a little bewildered. ]

[anthophilia]

[ He shrugs. ]

Yeah. I'm under strict instructions to stick around until one of you tells me to fuck off, and you seem tucked in pretty tight up here. No sense me hanging around like a stale fart or making up excuses to look like I'm important, so... coffee. Or a soda, whatever.

[spiculatus]

Oh! Oh, no, you don't have to do that!

[ with a wave of his hand, a little flustered. ] I'm not gonna make you run my errands and stuff! I really don't mind if --

[ ... wait. hold up! cutting himself off midway like he's just remembering something, and then his attention goes to legato. and for the first time, there's an edge in his voice when he speaks, a thinly veiled dislike. ] Nai's probably expecting your report, right? Wolfwood's got things covered here.\

[ there's a moment of looks exchanged between them, a bit of simmering tension, and then legato makes a little sound of irritation and sees himself back out of the penthouse. vash watches him go, waiting until the elevator doors slide shut behind him, before he finally turns back to wolfwood with a slightly sheepish smile. ] Sorry about that. He's kind of a tattletale! But really, I don't mind if you just hang out with a book or watch TV or whatever. It'll just be me and you most of the time! And I won't let Nai put cameras in here, so he won't find out.

[anthophilia]

[ That's interesting. Kind of a comfort too, if he's honest with himself. Dude makes Wolfwood's skin crawl. Back in the day there'd been this kind of hidden story in the little booklets that came in cd cases that kinda presented Vash (and by extension, Nai/Knives) as other than human. Alien plants, or something? And it seems like the PA is a generation behind on the image. His blue hair, his all white clothes, the controlled way he moves and that voice that would probably be pleasant if it had any expression at all in it. Liek he's going for inhuman too, but wasn't allowed to join the twin club and went for android. Feeling a little more relaxed with him gone, Wolfwood plunks down into a chair and grins at Vash. ]

Good for you. You should get to have at least one place where you're not bein' watched.

Uh. Except by me, I guess.

[spiculatus]

Well! So far you don't give off any creepy vibes.

[ which puts him heads above legato when it comes to babysitting, as far as vash is concerned. ]

But -- oh! Did you want a coffee or anything? They usually keep the kitchen pretty stocked, and I think Nai has a coffee maker?

[ it's a stupidly fancy monstrosity that vash isn't allowed to touch under any circumstances, but nai regularly conducts esoteric rituals on it and obtains coffee somehow, so... ]

[anthophilia]

Nah, I'm good. But if you ever change your mind, I make a mean caramel macchiato. I did seven months undercover as a barista, and it turns out part of keeping cover is learning to make the damn coffee.

[ True. Secret meetings between a mafioso's daughter and someone they'd thought was a spy, but just turned out just to be a douchebag who was set to break her heart. ]

I did have a couple business questions. I've heard a lot about what your brother and his flying monkey think you need. I'd like to hear at least something about what you want.

[spiculatus]

[ oh!!! he lights up with interest at the first bit, because that sounds cool. sure, maybe it's just a grass is greener thing, but how many times has he sat around just wishing he could be a regular person working a regular job? it's been years since he's even been able to go in a coffee shop without the place getting swarmed, and --

but the next part catches him off-guard, startled enough for it to show in his expression. almost like what you want is a foreign concept, some bold new idea wolfwood came up with on the spot. ] I --?

Oh, I mean... [ flustered! ] ... I don't really...

I'm pretty boring!

[anthophilia]

[ Listen,

Wolfwood has a good poker face. He's spent years making sure his expression was a blank mask. None of that experience stops his eyebrows from creeping up at Vash's pronouncement that he's pretty boring. He made the music that Wolfwood still listens to all these years later, and though his current genre might not be exactly Wolfwood's taste, Vash's sales and celebrity and concert ticket prices aptly demonstrate that there are plenty of people who consider him anything but boring. He manages to get it under at least a little control, leans back in his chair. ]

Boring 'cause you wanna live normal, or boring 'cause you're cooped up away from the public unless you're on a stage? Those are pretty different things. I gotta know which if I'm gonna try and make your life tolerable instead of just safe.

[spiculatus]

[ there it is again. the distinct feeling that wolfwood has reached out to grab at the edge of the mask vash has gotten so used to wearing and given it a yank, and vash is left unbalanced and reeling in the aftermath. ]

I --

[ it should be easy to shut this down, to say something vague and upbeat and then pivot away from the topic entirely. but. ] ... you don't have to worry about that part.

The tolerable part, I mean. [ with a little laugh, reaching up to rub at his arm just above the port for the prosthetic. ] Pretty sure we'd have to pay you way more if that was in the job description.

[anthophilia]

[ Aw, fuck. That's grim. And maybe it shouldn't be a surprise, given the ache in some of Vash's lyrics, but don't you always kinda hope your favourite depressed-sounding artist is just really creative? Wolfwood's usually not much for hugging, but the urge is there. It'd be too much in the first ten minutes of his job. ]

What would it take?

[ That's probably too much as well, but the words are out before he can correct himself. He grins, tries to take the edge off it a little. ]

Lemme see if I can earn myself a bonus. A sheikh gave me a lambo once, taught me to take pride in doing the best job I can.

[ This is true. Sure, he waited until the sheikh had returned home and promptly sold the car to pump most of the money into the orphanage, but it happened! ]

[spiculatus]

Oooh!

[ and now he’s grinning, leaning back a little like he’s adding the lambo as a new variable into some old equation. ] How do you feel about kidnapping? You could even chuck me in the trunk and tie my hands up to make it look real!

[ but it’s an airy, playful thing with no real weight behind it. a daydream, not a plan. ]

[anthophilia]

[ Wolfwood blinks for a moment, before he realizes Vash is kidding rather than referring to Wolfwood's previous work-related activities. And is it really kidnapping if the victim is a grown man and you're just trying to put the fear of god into him so he stops blackmailing and threatening your client? That's just... assisted karma. ]

If you're just hoping for a ride in the lambo, I regret to inform you I don't have it anymore. But if you're lookin' for some under-the-radar time away, gimme some time to plan and we can make that happen.

[spiculatus]

[ a little head shake and a laugh. ]

Nooooo! Pretty obvious they haven't shown you the schedule yet, if you think there's time to squeeze that in.

[ which is why he reaches over to grab his phone, tapping away at it for a moment before he reaches out to pass it over to wolfwood. and there it is! The Schedule -- every day and seemingly every minute crammed with practice, interviews, studio time, meetings with designers and technicians and producers, and endless, dizzying list. ]

[anthophilia]

[ Wolfwood's momentarily charmed by Vash's willingness to hand his phone right over, even if it shows a level of trust in a man Vash has only just met that might be cause for concern. Then he turns his attention to The Schedule, and hooboy. It's busy as hell - but that's all the more reason to start planning, right? Vash is gonna need some real downtime when all this is over. Genuine relaxation rather than just a break. So Wolfwood scrolls forward a few weeks... and then months... and when he hits a full year of The Schedule, he hands the phone back defeatedly, rubbing at his eyes. ]

Well, that's gotta change. Seems like a good way to roast the golden goose. And the more worn out you are, the more vulnerable you're gonna be.

[ It's not just plotting aloud of how to demand more free time for Vash. It's true; burnt-out people make stupid mistakes. This kind of schedule for this long is a real risk to Vash's safety, not just his mental and physical health. ]

[spiculatus]

That's where you come in, right? To watch my back!

[ taking the phone back from him, only to lay it facedown again on the table nearby. ]

A lot of people are counting on me. Not just the fans, but the whole team here. So... I'm counting on you!

[anthophilia]

You're kiddin', right? What's the point of making more money that anyone ever needs if you don't got time to enjoy it? You're not a money-printing machine, you're a person.

[ That's... kinda rude, so Wolfwood sighs. ]

Lemme tell you a story. Your brother said you guys already dug all the dirt on me, so I'm countin' on it not being shocking.

I was kind of a shit when I was younger. Got mixed up in some bad stuff. Some of it blew back on my little brother, and I turned my life around. Decided I was gonna be a Better Man, all that shit. Turn my skillset to keeping people safe. I got a gig for this tech guy who had all these plans to revolutionize shit, do all the stuff big corps are doing but prove that it could be done ethically. Pissed some people off and hired me 'cause some crackpot started making threats, said he was gonna come for the guy's kids and do all kinds of shit to them. I wasn't that worried 'cause there was no evidence the guy was gonna act on it, no sign he even knew where my client lived. But the dude was working himself to the bone over this plan of his, putting in so many hours he was clocking about three hours sleep a night. You know what did him in? A fake email about his kids' Disney Plus account missing a payment. He was in tech. He never shoulda fallen for a goddamn fake link. But he did, and the crackpot got his address and came for his daughter. She was six. Cute as a button, the sweetest little kid you ever met. Nearly got her, too.

I shot him in the head. I don't regret it. Not if it kept that little girl safe. And all it took was presenting those threats for the charges against me to go away before it ever went to trial. But sometimes when I'm trying to fall asleep the look on that girl's face sticks in my head. This guy's brains in her hair, and an expression like she was never gonna get over it. All because her daddy wore himself out so bad trying to do a good thing that he fell for something he never woulda fell for otherwise, and I wasn't quick enough to catch it.

Your brother made it pretty clear he expects me to be prepared to kill for you, too. I'd rather be prepared enough that I don't have to. And if that means moving heaven and earth to find a way to wedge a week or two in here for you to go to a resort or take a sailing holiday or some shit, I mean to do it.

[spiculatus]

[ vash does know the story, but there's a difference between having legato rattle off something in someone's file and hearing it straight from wolfwood's mouth. so he stays quiet through the whole thing, smile gone, expression intent, eyes focused on wolfwood's face.

but then: ]

Thank you. For telling me. [ but then he leans forward a little. ] But if it comes down to it, no matter what my brother says, I don't want you to kill anyone because of me.

I -- [ he hesitates for a moment, breaking eye contact. ] ... I wanted to do this to make people happy. [ it sounds like the sort of cheesy answer you give the tabloids, but it's always been anything but. maybe because it feels like atonement. ] I think sometimes music does that better than anything else. And I'm lucky. People tell me that my songs have gotten them through stuff, picked them up when they were feeling down, helped them make a change.

I think you're a good person, Wolfwood. [ softly. ] I can tell.

So I'm asking -- [ looking back at him again. ] If someone gets hurt, gets killed, everything I've done won't mean anything anymore.

Please don't take that away.

[anthophilia]

Least I can do.

[ Because Wolfwood's one of those people, isn't he? When he'd had Vash's old albums on repeat there's been such an ache in them, such dissatisfaction with the way things were and such yearning for better, to be better. It'd made him feel like he wasn't alone in regretting what he'd let things become, like there really was hope. It'd be overstating it to say that it was Vash's music that gave him what he needed to get his shit together, but it had made him feel like he wasn't alone in needing to do it. Like there was something else there with him, willing him along the path to change.

Still. ]

I still think we need to find a space for downtime. I don't mean to be rude [ and like always, this is a sign that the person speaking is about to be Very Rude ] but for a pop hearthrob, up close you look like shit. Tired. That famous megawatt smile of yours is the kinda bright that comes from a bulb about to blow. You wanna keep your fans happy? Do them the courtesy of resting so you can keep goin'. Let's see if we can make the sudden disappearing act a once-in-a-career thing, huh?

[spiculatus]

[ a blink! that is rude. but it's also... true, and the first time anyone else has ever... noticed? it catches him off-guard; he's caught between feeling oddly exposed and vulnerable, but also... it's... nice? it feels like wolfwood is the first person in a long time looking at him and trying to see him. ]

... deal!

[ offering up his hand to shake. ] It can be our contract.

[anthophilia]

You're on, Blondie.

[ Wolfwood clutches that hand firmly and shakes it, and he can't help the quiet little laugh that comes from doing it. Spilling his guts back there was probably a risky move, but at least the conversation they've had makes Vash seem real enough that the teenage fanboy still lurking in Wolfwood's heart doesn't faint at actual physical contact. ]

I'm probably gonna have to make some changes around here. Just so the first thing I pitch to your big bro isn't taking a chunk out of your schedule. No cameras, though. Promise.

[spiculatus]

Oh! I can help!

[ letting go of wolfwood's hand just so he can go fumbling for his phone again, and there's a few minutes of furious tapping. then he looks up, beaming like he's just accomplished something great. ] There! I told 'em you had a bunch of really strict security protocols you're putting in place and I had to clear my schedule for the rest of the week to get it all done. We already had to delay the next couple of concerts until my arm gets fixed, so it was just interviews and stuff.

[ ... a little thoughtful. ] I guess my brother might yell at you, but probably just a little bit.

[anthophilia]

[ There's a beat in which Wolfwood stares at Vash, and then he cracks up laughing. Bigger than the little huff from before; a real belly laugh. ]

You're a just a little diabolical, ain'tcha?

[ It's charming. ]

Well, the main thing I had planned was leanin' on my contacts to get you set up with a new car that's tough as a tank and basically a mobile panic room, but if I'm gonna get yelled at anyway... you wanna do something for fun?

[spiculatus]

[ oh. that laugh is enough to make his heart do a stupid flip-flop flutter in his chest, and it takes him a second or two before he recovers enough to flash wolfwood a peace sign and another grin.

but!! ] Yeah! We might as well earn the yelling, right?

[anthophilia]

Good to see we're on the same page.

[ Nothing big enough or risky enough to get him fired, but... a tiny adventure seems like a good start to repaying Vash for everything his music gave Wolfwood when he was young and lost. And the grin Vash gives him looks like it's got a little less weight behind it, which is worth a yelling and more. ]

So where do you wanna start? What's something you've been wanting?

[spiculatus]

[ thinking hard about this!

... and then there's a little wiggle, almost like a kid working themselves up to ask for something they know is against the rules. ]

... donuts? [ his team outlawed them, saying sweets would be awful for his figure and his complexion, but if he and wolfwood are having a Rebellion Day... ]

[anthophilia]

[ Wolfwood tries hard not to overthink the fact that Vash seems to have to work up some courage to suggest something as simple as donuts. It makes sense, right? If he's been on lockdown after the incident, there's probably not much opportunity to go out and get treats. ]

Donuts, huh? Sounds good.

[ And he'd been thinking of it as something to plan for, make sure all the bases were covered and everything was safe, but that little wiggle is cute enough to make Wolfwood worry he's gonna blush. It'd be cruel to offer it and then make Vash wait, right? ]

You wanna go now?

[spiculatus]

-- Wait, we can go out and get some?

[ it's obvious that the suggestion nearly bowls him right over, almost like wolfwood had suggested skydiving off the roof!! he was just expecting to order some in! but... going out??? for donuts??? ] Really?

[anthophilia]

[ If there was a part of Wolfwood that was going to have second thoughts about this, the sheer wonder in Vash's voice about the suggestion makes it collapse in on itself. ]

Sure. I'd need more time to plan for actually going into a store, but we can hit a drivethrough. And nobody's ever seen you in my car, so they won't be looking for you in it. If we stick that hair of yours under a beanie and put you in my sunglasses... it wouldn't fool anyone at a second glance, but we might get away with a first glance. 'cept for whoever's at the drivethrough window, but they won't be able to reach ya. They'll just have a little story to tell.

[spiculatus]

[ that's all it takes! just the prospect of a quick trip through a drive-through is enough to make him get more hype than a golden retriever over a game of fetch. he jumps to his feet, practically vibrating with excitement, looking like there's a high likelihood that he'll start chasing his tail at any moment. ]

Yay! Let's do it! Wow, I can't believe we're really gonna go through a drive-through! It's almost like we're spies on a secret mission! Except the secret mission is donuts!

[anthophilia]

[ Fuck, but he's cute. Wolfwood can't help the warm smile that unfolds across his face. This little secret mission is probably gonna be the one time he can drive Vash around in his own car and not be identified if they get spotted, but the joy beaming out of Vash is worth it. He stands, pulls his sunglasses out of his pocket and hands them off to Vash. They're dark enough to hide the distinctive colour of his eyes and just big enough to cover his little beauty mark. Once they get his bright blond hair hidden, only one of his... millions of fans would recognize him. Good thing Wolfwood's car has tints that really ride the line of what's legal. ]

You got a hat? There's one in the car if you don't. And if you don't mind wearing mine.

[spiculatus]

[ settling the sunglasses on his nose! they're darker than the glasses he's used to, but the upside? vash is 100% convinced they make him look cool! ]

I wanna wear yours! It's more like a disguise that way!

[anthophilia]

Sure thing, Blondie. Let's roll.

[ No point lying to himself; he's getting a real kick out of how hype Vash seems, and that's only increased by the fact that Vash wants to wear his hat - even if it's just for the novelty of feeling disguised, and not because it's Wolfwood's. It's no faster getting through all the security measures on the way out of Vash's swank-ass apartment than it is getting in, but once they're down to the parking and safely ensconced in Wolfwood's carefully nondescript car, he's starting to get infected with Vash's excitement. Enough to forget his old cds of Vash's first two albums in jewel cases so battered it can only be a sign of heavy use are in the glovebox when he gestures to it and says ]

Beanie's in there. Try and tuck all your hair under it, pull it low in front.

[spiculatus]

[ vash is happy enough just to follow along at wolfwood's heels like a duckling, trying not to let too much excitement bleed through until they're out of sight of the regular penthouse security.

but! then he's sliding into wolfwood's car, eagerly opening up the glovebox and pulling out the beanie within like it's treasure. of course, tugging it out is enough to make one of the CDs go tumbling down to the floorboard of the car, and vash promptly chirps out a whoops, sorry! and dips down to retrieve it.

... of course, once he picks it up and sees what it is? there's a long moment of silence before he swallows and manages a little: ] ... wow, haha, you really did your research before you took this job, huh?

[anthophilia]

[ Aw, shit. Wolfwood can feel the tiny trace of a flush that tints his cheeks even when he realizes what's fallen, let alone during the quiet moment of Vash staring at it before he speaks. Wolfwood clears his throat awkwardly. Well, it'd be weirder to lie about it at this point, so - ]

Nah. I was a real big fan. S'like you were saying about what people tell you about your music. Gave me a boost through some tough shit, you know?

[ But oh, shit - ]

That's not why I took the job. Not gonna lie and say I didn't flash back to a moment of teenage giddiness when I found out the star they wanted me to work with was you, but I was already pretty set on trying to get this gig. If that makes it too awkward for you... well, I'll be chafed about it, but I'll understand.

[spiculatus]

Wh --?

[ a blink, turning an almost startled look in wolfwood's direction. ]

You were a fan? Of... this?

[anthophilia]

Yeah.

[ Wolfwood doesn't often feel awkward, but this is close to excruciating. He scrubs a hand through his hair, tries to keep the smile on his face from looking too sheepish. ]

I'd never heard anything like it. Sounds almost messy, but in a way where all the mess comes together and makes something damn near perfect. Not that your new stuff isn't good, Christ knows your sales back it up. But it's real polished, and your early stuff was... raw.

[ Oh, Wolfwood. You blew up your spot even worse than it was already blown. He shakes his head. ]

Guess a little speech like that gives away that it'd be more accurate to say I am a fan of that. If I'm already showin' my ass, I might as well admit I only keep it in the car 'cause I've got it on vinyl at home.

[spiculatus]

I --

[ looking back at the jewel case in his hands, speechless for another long moment. ]

Really? This isn't -- I mean, you've already got the job, I promise!

[anthophilia]

[ Wait, what? ]

You think I'm fluffing your ego just to clinch the deal? Nah. If anything, I thought it mighta ruined my chances to admit it. Make it sound like I was a kooky fan just trying to get close to you, or something.

[spiculatus]

Oh! No, it doesn't ruin anything, just --

[ shaking his head, a crooked little smile tugging at one corner of his mouth as he reaches out to trace the letters of the album title. ] ... I didn't know anyone really liked these.

[ they hadn't been widely circulated, critics had been fairly scathing, and it had led to vash being dropped from the little indie label who'd taken a chance on him. almost enough to end his career before it ever started. ]

[anthophilia]

Liked is an understatement.

[ It still feels awkward, but... at least Vash sounds happy to hear it? ]

I think I woulda liked it anyway, but you put those out at a time when they were just what I needed to hear. Reminded me that the fact I'd fucked up my life didn't mean I didn't deserve to try for better. I already told you I had a point where I realized I had to turn things around. Typhoon and Stampede were pretty much the soundtrack for that.

People just didn't know what they were missin', I guess. The marketing was shit. I only found it 'cause I was digging through the bins at a music store and the cover made me curious.

[spiculatus]

We didn't have any marketing.

[ with a little laugh, his voice low and fond. ] Couldn't afford it, not back then. I used to perform at some clubs here and there, and I thought selling some CDs after the show might help get the music out. Nai and I pooled together everything we had just to record the first run.

[ and it had worked, at first. they'd only made a couple hundred of the CDs, but they'd cleared out all their stock after the next couple of shows, and one of them had made it into the hands of the label that ended up signing vash. the label had paid for another run of the first album and even produced the second, but... it was all just a flash in the pan. a cult following, and that had slowly died off after a handful of scathing reviews and some scattered internet controversy. ]

I never really expected to stumble across one of these again. Not like this, at least.

[anthophilia]

Ha! That explains it, I guess. When you put it like that, it almost seems like a miracle I ever heard you.

[ Obviously that sucks for Vash, but at the time it had been kinda exciting for Wolfwood. Like he'd been let in on a secret, like his love for the music was all the more special because he was only one of a few who knew about it. On reflection, maybe he and the handful of other diehard fans should have been loud about it rather than hoarding it like treasure. ]

Takes guts to put yourself out there like that. Even more to take a second run at it.

[spiculatus]

I'm glad it meant something to someone.

[ and then he's tucking the CD carefully back in the glovebox before shutting it again and starting to work on the not-so-easy task of hiding all of his hair up under wolfwood's beanie.

a little laugh, though. ]

I don't know if this counts. [ it's not really putting yourself out there if what's out there isn't really yourself, right? ]

[anthophilia]

[ If Wolfwood understood what Vash was talking about, he might say something like: if the reason you make music is that you want to make people happy, then making music that makes people happy is putting yourself out there regardless of what kind of music you're making. Unfortunately, due to a combination of knowing nothing about how making music works and being too charmed by Vash and too relieved that his dark secret of being an old Vash fan seems to have charmed Vash in turn rather than putting Vash off, Wolfwood thinks Vash is talking about the disguise. He snorts a little laugh, and reaches to tuck a stray strand of blond hair up under the dark beanie. ]

You're puttin' something out there, at least.

[ A pause as he surveys their handiwork. This close up even through the shades Vash's eyes actually seem bigger without all that hair distracting from them, but once you get past that it's something almost verging on edgy. ]

Not bad. A septum ring'd really make the look. Better not push our luck with a trip to a piercing studio, though.