lies on the lips of a priest

[anthophilia]

[ When you live the kind of life Wolfwood does, you have to have rules in place. Like: some things you remember, and some things you forget, because if you don’t do the second thing there’s no way you’ll survive the first. Or: children are pure, and adults, in general, are shit. Or: People can call him Wolfwood (for preference), Punisher (if it’s work), or Nick (at a stretch), but nobody gets to call him Nico anymore. Or: it’s better to fuck without kissing if you can get away with it, because kissing – faces close so close you share breath, the thing that everyone needs to keep living – is how you catch feelings.

Vash has an irritating way of blasting right through all his rules.

Rule one, they’ve done okay with. He can’t remember what it was that tipped him off that the restless, fidgeting way Vash tossed and turned when they shared a bed meant he wanted to cuddle. And that’s good, because it’s probably some tearjerking, traumatic bullshit that causes Vash to be so fucking anxious when someone’s that close that he can’t be at ease unless they wrap him up close and kind. He did, though; figured it out, caught Vash up in his arms and felt the other man go pliable and sweet in his embrace, and he finally managed some fucking sleep. After that is where is all turned to shit. They next time they’d done it Vash had just been watching him with those big, clear eyes, his permanent blush starker even in the dark, and maybe it was some stupid plant power at play but Wolfwood lost his mind and kissed him. It had been good, warm and wet and heated, and Vash had said please, Nico, can I- with his hand already halfway in Wolfwood’s pants and of course he’d said yes. But when it came time to repay the favour Vash had brightly said oh, that’s okay, I’m actually really tired! and immediately done the worst job of pretending to fall asleep Wolfwood’s ever seen in his life, complete with little snoring sounds that were a hair’s breadth from the honk-shooo mimimimimi bullshit you see in old cartoons.

The next time they’d done it Vash had kissed him first, and he’d been really into it until he shoved one of his thighs between those stupidly long, slender legs with the idea of grinding it against Vash until he had no option but to let Wolfwood give him a blowjob or at least a handy, and realized Vash wasn’t hard. That had felt shitty, but he still let Vash get him off, and that’s how he knows he fucked up when he broke his rule: he kissed, and then he had to lay there feeling like worm shit after he finished and Vash answered his groping hand with thanks, but that was enough for me! and faked falling asleep again.

This time, when Vash thrashes around and Wolfwood pulls him in close, he jerks his head back when Vash leans in for a kiss. He wants it – of course he does – but his stomach’s sour as a hangover when he thinks about going through that whole performance again. Rocking his hardon against a pelvis so flat Vash might as well be one of those dumb boy dolls they make so the dolls with long blonde hair and ballistic plastic tits have someone for little girls to marry them to, coming in a way that makes him want to watch Vash’s face and tell him things he doesn’t tell anyone, laying there hating himself for it when Vash makes fake little mnm mnm sleep sounds.

He squints against the dark. A wasted effort, when the colour of Vash’s big eyes almost seems to glow, but he does it anyway. ]

You know you don’t have to do all that shit. I’ll still hold you.

Comments

[spiculatus]

Wha -- Hey!

[ that's no fair! vash figured at least they could kiss a little more, right? that's obviously not selfish, because wolfwood is getting something out of it, too!

but then wolfwood rolls and drags vash with him, and promptly announces that he's going to sleep! which is... hey, wait a minute, suspiciously close to the trick vash used to pull on him! he sees what's going on he --

which is right when wolfwood presses a thigh up between his legs, and vash ruts up against it with a little groan before he can help himself. ] Unfair.

[anthophilia]

[ His eyes are still closed, but he's smirking. ]

Can't hear you. I'm asleep.

[ He is clearly not asleep, but whether the talking or the fact that he's now rocking his thigh in a slow, firm rhythm is the bigger giveaway is up to Vash. ]

[spiculatus]

[ that's not how sleep works!! vash knows that, which is why he's hissing a: ]

Are not.

[ he could attempt an escape. wolfwood's still got his arms around him, but it's not a tight hold -- vash could wriggle back enough to keep wolfwood from doing that with his thigh. there's only two problems: 1) it'd mean no cuddling, and 2) wolfwood would stop doing that with his thigh.

vash sighs out another low sound at that next press, unable to stop himself from rocking down greedily against it. ]

[anthophilia]

Sure I am.

[ God, that sound. He'd do anything if it meant getting to keep hearing that sound for the rest of his life. And the way Vash rocks against him - it's perfect. How'd it take them so long to get here? Pair of idiots, that's what they are. He puts a little extra in the next roll, shifts so Vash can feel that he's getting hard. ]

I'm having a great dream. Real sexy one.

[spiculatus]

Fine.

[ two people can play this game! especially now that he can feel wolfwood getting hard against him again, which is an encouragement all on its own. so the next time he rocks up against wolfwood's thigh, he does it with a little emphasis, and does absolutely nothing to bite back the way it makes him moan. ]

Then you don't care if I just use you, right? I can let you sleep, and -- nnh...

[anthophilia]

Fuck.

[ That... should not be hot. Wolfwood's been used plenty, and it's never been good. Of course, it comes back to the fact that it's Vash, like it always does. The idea of the most stupid, selfless man he's ever met being selfish for once, using him as the vessel for it... he tries to clamp down on his moan when it happens, and just misses. ]

[spiculatus]

[ ehehe. it's nice to score a point! ]

Too bad you're not awake. [ nibbling along wolfwood's jaw, the scruff there tickling his skin. that aching pressure between his legs is building up into something insistent, but it feels kinda like cheating to reach down and touch himself now. so he grinds himself a little harder against wolfwood's thigh, voice breaking around a little whine when it's not quite enough. ] We could feel good together.

[anthophilia]

[ That does sound good... and then Vash whines and the sound goes right to his cock, making it twitch in recognition of a situation it can help with, and he cracks one eye open. ]

That was loud. I think it woke me up.

[spiculatus]

Yeah? [ anyone else would probably just seize the chance to give wolfwood a hard time in return. vash just brightens up like a puppy at the prospect of walkies. ] G'morning!

[ which is the only warning wolfwood gets before vash is pressing in for a greedy kiss, reaching up to tangle the fingers of his prosthetic in wolfwood's hair. humming a pleased sound at the taste of him as their tongues slide together, trying to hitch himself impossibly closer. ]

[anthophilia]

[ He's just starting to smile softly at Vash when it's interrupted by a very enthusiastic kiss. Not that he's complaining! He'll have time to pontificate on what it means that Vash is apparently comfortable enough to unleash his goofy side in full force later - for now, kissing takes priority. Vash has a hand in his hair, tongue in his mouth and his hips pressed up close, and it's heaven. Wolfwood lets his hands wander, skating softly down over Vash's back, rests one on the curve of an asscheek and squeezes gently. ]

Good morning yourself. [ Might as well play along. It's cute! ] Wonder how we could make it even better?

[spiculatus]

[ wolfwood slides a hand down his back, and vash arches up lazily into it like a cat. eyes heavy-lidded, so obviously pleased to be touched anywhere that he isn't even trying to hurry things along. wolfwood's hands don't flinch away from the scars, don't try to steer away from the bits of metal bolted haphazardly down into bone.

it makes vash want to cry. it also makes him want to beg wolfwood for more, to keep touching him, to slide his hands over every inch of skin and offer up absolution.

instead! he latches right onto what wolfwood says with a gleeful sort of eagerness. ] I could blow you again?

[ the magazine didn't happen to mention the art of being coy. ]

[anthophilia]

[ It's unfortunate that they're so close, because when Wolfwood cracks into bright, loud laughter at that he does absolutely nothing to stifle it. When it finally dies down he's still just beaming at Vash, eyes bright with affection, and his hands resume that stroking after clutching at him so tight one might have thought he was worried he was going to laugh himself right off the bed. ]

You sure know how to make a guy feel wanted.

[ That enthusiasm was off the charts! And it's tempting to say yes just because of that, but there's so much more they could do. Especially with... The Situation. ]

I'll take a rain check. You're too good at it. I don't wanna get spoiled. I could blow you. Or... [ hm. he's been thinking about it pretty much since he saw those petals opening, but there's at least a tiny bit of post-nut clarity that raises an important question. But how the fuck does he ask it? ] How does... is your... [ this is hard ] does the fact that you have a pussy mean you can get pregnant?

[ ... Wolfwood, that was awful. ]

[spiculatus]

[ plenty of people might take offense to having someone laugh directly in their face right after an offer like that. but vash likes hearing wolfwood laugh, and he's never really minded being the butt of the joke -- which is why he's smiling crookedly, a little puzzled, but pushing himself a little closer like that laughter is something he can soak up through his skin.

wolfwood should laugh like this more often. he looks different when he does it, and even though he figures he likes wolfwood just about any way, there's something about this version that makes vash want start blurting out a bunch of stupid promises.

but. that? makes him blink. and his kneejerk response is a startled laugh: ] What? Haha, no way, that's not how it --

[ and then there's a profound moment of silence, in which the sound of gears turning in vash's head is almost audible. he opens his mouth. closes it. squints a little, the space between his brows knitting. ] ... I don't think so.

[ cocking his head to one side, feeling out the possibility. ] I think I'd know?

[anthophilia]

You don't think so?

[ It's the kind of question that should be incredulous. A how can you not know, that's pretty important sort of question. Instead, it's contemplative. Being together like this is so good it makes "probably not" seem like really good odds, so they could -

no! So much for the clarity. Aside from all the complications it'd cause for Vash, there are at least three people who'd murder him if he got Vash knocked up and only one who'd have the decency to make it quick. ]

I used to think guys who carried condoms everywhere were overestimating their chances. Guess I owe some people an apology now. But... I know I can't get pregnant.

[ He waggles an eyebrow, suggestive. ]

[spiculatus]

[ hang on! normally, he'd leap on the offer that those stupid wiggling eyebrows are suggesting, but. it... seems stupid, in retrospect, that he's never even thought about this before. but maybe that's the inherent danger in spending your life trying to run away from what you are just as fast as your legs can take you, huh?

would he know? ... maybe. and if he could, what would that mean? more plants for a planet that's starving for them? or more... things like he and nai, able to grow up into their own ideas of who does and doesn't deserve to live and with enough power to make it so?

would nai know? and the better question: would he tell vash if he did?

... vash doesn't know.

and that's enough to make something shutter in his expression, eyes caught staring somewhere at least a thousand miles away. ]

[anthophilia]

[ He's not so horny he misses it. The way something in Vash just shuts down, all the joy in him gone. They're still pressed close, but if feels like someone's snapped a curtain shut between them.

Well, fuck them. It's only a curtain. He'll fucking rip it down, if it means he gets to see Vash smiling his rare, real smile again. ]

Hey. [ Lifting a hand, combing gentle fingers through Vash's hair. ] What do you need? What can I do?

[spiculatus]

[ wolfwood cards a gentle hand into his hair, and it's enough to snap vash back to the present. he jolts, still so unused to being touched that it's enough to shock his system. he blinks, almost like someone waking up after a cat nap, momentary disorientation flickering across his expression --

and then he smiles! a little too bright, voice chipper. ]

Sorry! No, I'm sure it's okay. [ and then, with a careless flick of his wrist, like he can sum the entirety of his being up in the gesture: ] Besides, haha, I don't think this looks like a place where anything can grow.

[ scarred halfway to the point of ruin, so skinny that it looks like the jut of his bones threatens to break right through the skin. and yet, saying it feels like swallowing a needle that catches somewhere behind his ribs -- stupid, like being able to make a new life would count as proof that vash isn't exactly what he knows he is. ]

[anthophilia]

[ Wolfwood clenches his teeth.

He hates the fake smile. Not because it's fake - society as they know would collapse (further) if nobody ever pretended to be feeling a way other than how they were - but because he can see the pain behind it. So much of it that it looks like just forcing the smile hurts. He might not know much about where Vash is from, what he's been through, but he knows enough to know it's nothing good, to read the agony behind the cheerful mask.

It's not even the kind of thing he can tell Vash to stop, like the biting, because it'd probably only dig it in harder. If Wolfwood has to listen to another breezy I'm fine, really! he's going to scream.

He does the only thing he can think of. Shoves his weight forward hard enough to roll them, so Vash is pinned underneath him -

and starts moving over the wreck of Vash's body with soft hands and gentle kisses. Over his unmarked skin, silk-soft and warm, but over the scars too, the metal, the parts he probably can't even feel. Fuck it. This body may look like a ruin, but it's one with something precious in it. ]

[spiculatus]

[ they're close enough for vash to catch the way wolfwood clenches his jaw, and uh oh. but before he can even blurt out the first sorry!, the other man is moving underneath him. ]

Wha --?! Augh, hey --!

[ shoved back onto the mattress, pinned in place by wolfwood's weight on him. it's not like vash couldn't have him off if he wanted to; the prosthetic alone could hurl the other man across the room like he weighs less than nothing. but more often than not, vash is happy to play into the illusion, and this?

this is definitely one of those times.

he startles when wolfwood presses that first kiss to his skin, braced more for a smack upside the head than something so... tender. but as soon as he realizes what wolfwood is doing? it makes his breath catch, a sharp lump wedging itself in his throat that's hard to swallow past. ] Ah, you don't --

[ have to, but the rest of it dies on his tongue. the broken-off sentence hangs there for a moment, and then he breathes out in one shaky exhale. reaches a hand down to tangle his fingers gently into wolfwood's hair. ] ... thank you.

[anthophilia]

[ Despite his determination to turn a deaf ear to any you don't have to, he tenses when he hears the start of it. And then the end doesn't come, a sigh and thanks in its place, and Wolfwood is so grateful for it he pauses for a moment, eyes falling closed, a little plume of breath that might be a sigh or might be a very quiet laugh puffing against Vash's skin.

He's achieved what he set out to do - at least a little - but... it feels good, doing this. Just taking the time to show Vash how he feels. So he takes just a little longer for himself, kissing and stroking. Stops before he gets to anywhere really exciting, because that's not what this is about, but he finishes by drawing himself back up and pressing one more soft kiss to Vash's mouth. ]

You good?

[ Not the most romantic thing he could say, after that, but it's genuine. ]

[spiculatus]

[ doing nothing and just accepting what wolfwood is giving him is actually... harder than vash would have expected! he wants to squirm, wants to fidget. wants to nudge wolfwood's head gently away, wants to flip their positions, wants to scramble to flip their positions in some rush to return the favor.

but! wolfwood is a nice person. a good person, and he deserves the chance to show it without being pushed away.

(and besides, there's a traitorous little part of him that likes it, that wants to arch up into wolfwood's gentle mouth and hands and beg him to please please please never stop.)

and by the time wolfwood draws back from that kiss, the smile vash gives him is a real one. ] Yeah.

Can we still...? [ now he is fidgeting, the blush spreading until it's dusting the bridge of his nose. ] I wanna feel --

... I've thought about it before. [ licking his lips. ] What you'd feel like inside me. Better than my fingers. Better than yours, even. I wanna know.

[anthophilia]

[ No way. It's too risky. If Vash is wrong, it'd be a fucking catastrophe. Even if somehow Knives doesn't personally murder him, what kind of issues might it trigger for Vash? And what kind of life is this, to bring a child into? It'd be nothing less than cruelty. Tomorrow he'll find a drugstore, buy some condoms, give Vash exactly what he's asking for, but for tonight he needs to keep it locked down, maybe just keep Vash so busy with anything else he can think of that he forgets all about it. ]

Yeah. Yeah, of course. I've wanted you since before I knew I could even have you like this. Almost since we met.

[ Apparently his brain isn't getting a say, tonight. He kisses Vash again, just as slow, a little more heat in it this time. ]

You want me like this? On top?

[spiculatus]

[ there is a not-so-small part of vash that wants to ask if wolfwood decided he was into him before or after he tried to slap them with a $20,000 bill, but wolfwood's mouth is on his before he gets the chance. maybe it's one of those mysteries that's better left unsolved.

but the question makes him blink. it's hard to think past the spike of arousal it prompts, settling into that knot of pressure between his legs, but. it, uh... feels like something he should actually think about? he doesn't have any experience to tell him if the prosthetics are going to make things unwieldy, if there's a position that might make it a little better. ]

Feels like I should be asking you. [ but wolfwood's so close that vash can't resist the urge to lean up and kiss him. slow and sweet, just liking the fact that he's allowed. still, it's not enough to spare wolfwood from his gremlin streak. which is why he gets a wink, and a cheeky little: ] You're the one who's putting in all the work.

[anthophilia]

[ That gets a little snort, and the thought that he should make Vash take the top just to teach him a lesson. But things were... intense there, for a second, so. ]

Mm. I want to see your face. [ He smiles, cheeky. ] This time, at least. Next time, we'll get creative.

[ And there's so much to get creative with! But for now, the basics are good. Just two people with a slightly higher than average number of sex organs between them, expressing their affection for each other.

He pinches his lips together briefly to avoid laughing at that thought, because he doesn't want to have to explain it. Covers by leaning in for another kiss and slipping a hand down between them to stroke between Vash's legs, and hums low at the feel of it. That gets him back on track. ]

You still feel so good. All wet and soft.

[spiculatus]

[ next time! creative! he really likes the sound of both of those. which is why his expression lights up with a smile in return, something that sticks around even when wolfwood leans down to kiss him again.

and honestly, he's so focused in on the kiss that he forgets to keep track of wolfwood's hands. so that touch catches him off-guard, makes him break the kiss with a sharp inhale as his hips buck up greedily into wolfwood's hand. ]

Glad I'm servin' it up just the way you like it. [ which is an award-winningly stupid thing to say when someone has their hand between your legs, but wolfwood knows who he's in bed with. ]