to walk a fine line and work against you

[exsurgo]

Hey, I wanna talk to you about something.

[ Maybe it’s not the time? It feels so nice right now. They’re just sitting together on the couch, the line of Cloud’s (clothed!) thigh warm against Zack’s. Closer than they need to be for the game they’re playing, but they’re always like that now. Whenever they’re alone together they end up tangling close, even if they’re not doing anything. It makes sense; Zack can’t really touch Cloud when they’re out around HQ or on missions beyond ruffling his hair, slapping him a high-five or occasionally slinging an arm around him in a side-hug kind of squeeze, so it’s normal to want to get of much of it as possible when he can! But that’s why he’s thinking about it, really.

It's the first time he’s ever felt part of his SOLDIER training took something away from him rather than giving. They all go through pretty extensive training once they get into the upper ranks – SOLDIER, the Turks, probably management too because you can’t have somebody giving away business secrets because they’re horny. They’re all on suppressants anyway, but there have been ways around that for as long as there have been suppressants, so part of his SOLDIER experience has been rigorous training to make him basically immune to being forced into rut by the presence of omega pheromones. He’s never regretted it – being forced there isn’t a very nice feeling, when you get down to it – but now he kinda wonders. He’s so crazy for Cloud anyway that it might be nice to just be taken over by it. It’s supposed to be incredible when it’s right – finding the right mate, bonding, all that stuff. He’d feel a lot worse about it if Cloud wasn’t with Shinra too, ‘cause once he makes SOLDIER he’s gonna have to go through all the same stuff and at least it’s not like he’ll be missing out just because of Zack, but it’s still a little sad to think of this one thing they won’t have.

There’s also the part where they haven’t really… talked about it. Cloud’s an omega for sure – he’s never been in heat around Zack (he’s probably on those Shinra suppressants, a rare occasion where they dole out the best stuff to the infantry too because a poorly-timed heat sneaking through or the side effects of cheaper stuff would mean more time when they couldn’t work) but Zack can tell. It’s something that’s just kind of there about him, like the fact that he’s got blue eyes or blond hair. Or maybe it’s closer to say it’s like how he’s on the short side, or has a little scatter of freckles – things about himself that Cloud probably isn’t too pumped about but that Zack thinks are just right. It’s in the way his lashes shade his eyes, the way he moves, the way the cheapo soap and shampoo and laundry detergent they dole out somehow smells good on him. But it’s never come up, and that’s why Zack feels like he needs to say something now, before it comes up by itself. If they never talk about it and then Cloud goes into heat and Zack's reaction is that's rough, buddy, let me get you a cold drink, it's way too easy to imagine all the hormones making him take it personally. So yeah, it sucks, and maybe it'll ruin the nice cosy time they're having, but better now than when Cloud needs what Zack can't give him. ]

You know I’m an Alpha, right?

Comments

[meteorics]

[ sometimes, when cloud really lets himself think about it, it's kind of crazy how much stuff has changed. even a handful of months ago, the idea of letting himself be this comfortable being close with zack -- a senior officer (even if zack badgered him into dropping any and all formalities halfway through their first hangout), an alpha (screamingly obvious even if they've never had The Conversation), and officially the coolest person cloud knows (even if zack always tries to laugh that off and insist that cloud is the cool one).

sometimes it feels like some kind of karmic wires have gotten crossed, like there's supposed to be someone else sitting here on this couch and cloud's just stealing his spot. but! time keeps going by, and cloud keeps settling in here -- almost like this place was meant for him, after all. ]

Mmm? [ it's a distracted response to the first thing zack says, because they're on the final lap of the chocobo racing game zack had invited him over to play, and cloud's in the lead! but just by a nose, and there's high stakes on this one -- winner gets to decide on the pizza toppings they're ordering once the race is over. so he's focused, chewing on one corner of his lip and steering his chocobo carefully around that final hairpin turn --

and then zack goes and hits him with that.

it's unexpected enough that cloud jolts, heat immediately flooding into his face and eyes snapping up to zack, and the ruined concentration spells disaster for his chocobo. it goes immediately careening into the wall cloud was trying to avoid, and the rest of the pack sweeps past him. from first to dead last in a matter of seconds, and that means zack is free to order a pizza with weird toppings just because his stomach is made of steel and he thought fried malboro vines sounded interesting. ]

Wha -- [ pointedly looking at the screen and not at zack now, because. what kind of conversation starts with a question like that!! ] ... you waited 'til the last lap to ask that?

[exsurgo]

[ Zack's so glad they had their little chat! Things were pretty great between them already, but they're even better now. It really does feel like they're perfectly matched. Cloud comes over and they play games, get takeout, sometimes make out a bit, and there's a special kind of pride that goes along with knowing it's just because they're them. That they chose each other. It lets him revel in it - every time Cloud leans up close against him, every time he can't help curling an arm around Cloud or running a hand through his hair, it's just because of who they are, how much they like each other.

They're hanging out tonight. A stay at home date, kinda (A State! Zack had offered proudly, and Cloud had given him a flat look and a veto but still said he'd come over). It seems like Cloud's been a little under the weather recently, so they're gonna take it easy. If all Cloud wants to do is catch a nap in Zack's bed, that's cool! They're been going a little further with things recently and there's an excitement about that that usually infuses these nights - last time they'd ended up rubbing up against each other while they made out so much that they both ended up coming in their pants, which had been AMAZING - but Zack files that thought away in favour of looking after Cloud. He's tidied up his room (seriously, which means he tidied until he thought it looked good and then sent Angeal pics for further instructions, of which there were a lot), changed the bedding to the nicest, warmest, comfiest stuff he has (washed even though it came right out of the drawer so it would be extra-fresh!) snagged some movies so they can watch them together if Cloud's too tired for games, and stocked his fridge with orange juice and some healthy snacks in addition to the usual soda and junk. Best of all, he found (okay, he asked Kunsel and Kunsel found) a little place that does Nibelheim-style food, so he picked some up to go and has it ready to heat up. Nothing makes you feel better when you're down than a little taste of home, right?

He's been working on getting Cloud to just let himself in, and they're making progress! Cloud still knocks, but he'll open the door after - even if he always calls a cautious greeting and waits for Zack to respond before he enters. This time he actually steps inside, and Zack's head snaps up to praise him for it - but the smile freezes on his face when he sees Cloud. Cloud usually dresses pretty conservative, just about everything covered up, but tonight he looks like he's dressed for the peak of summer heat. Light fabric, a lot more of his arms showing than usual, and Zack furrows his brow. ]

Dude. Aren't you sick? You should be wrapped up!

[ He doesn't actually wait for a reply, grabs a nearby hoodie and strides over to Cloud, hellbent on putting it on him. Cloud's not gonna freeze on his watch! ]