to walk a fine line and work against you

[exsurgo]

Hey, I wanna talk to you about something.

[ Maybe it’s not the time? It feels so nice right now. They’re just sitting together on the couch, the line of Cloud’s (clothed!) thigh warm against Zack’s. Closer than they need to be for the game they’re playing, but they’re always like that now. Whenever they’re alone together they end up tangling close, even if they’re not doing anything. It makes sense; Zack can’t really touch Cloud when they’re out around HQ or on missions beyond ruffling his hair, slapping him a high-five or occasionally slinging an arm around him in a side-hug kind of squeeze, so it’s normal to want to get of much of it as possible when he can! But that’s why he’s thinking about it, really.

It's the first time he’s ever felt part of his SOLDIER training took something away from him rather than giving. They all go through pretty extensive training once they get into the upper ranks – SOLDIER, the Turks, probably management too because you can’t have somebody giving away business secrets because they’re horny. They’re all on suppressants anyway, but there have been ways around that for as long as there have been suppressants, so part of his SOLDIER experience has been rigorous training to make him basically immune to being forced into rut by the presence of omega pheromones. He’s never regretted it – being forced there isn’t a very nice feeling, when you get down to it – but now he kinda wonders. He’s so crazy for Cloud anyway that it might be nice to just be taken over by it. It’s supposed to be incredible when it’s right – finding the right mate, bonding, all that stuff. He’d feel a lot worse about it if Cloud wasn’t with Shinra too, ‘cause once he makes SOLDIER he’s gonna have to go through all the same stuff and at least it’s not like he’ll be missing out just because of Zack, but it’s still a little sad to think of this one thing they won’t have.

There’s also the part where they haven’t really… talked about it. Cloud’s an omega for sure – he’s never been in heat around Zack (he’s probably on those Shinra suppressants, a rare occasion where they dole out the best stuff to the infantry too because a poorly-timed heat sneaking through or the side effects of cheaper stuff would mean more time when they couldn’t work) but Zack can tell. It’s something that’s just kind of there about him, like the fact that he’s got blue eyes or blond hair. Or maybe it’s closer to say it’s like how he’s on the short side, or has a little scatter of freckles – things about himself that Cloud probably isn’t too pumped about but that Zack thinks are just right. It’s in the way his lashes shade his eyes, the way he moves, the way the cheapo soap and shampoo and laundry detergent they dole out somehow smells good on him. But it’s never come up, and that’s why Zack feels like he needs to say something now, before it comes up by itself. If they never talk about it and then Cloud goes into heat and Zack's reaction is that's rough, buddy, let me get you a cold drink, it's way too easy to imagine all the hormones making him take it personally. So yeah, it sucks, and maybe it'll ruin the nice cosy time they're having, but better now than when Cloud needs what Zack can't give him. ]

You know I’m an Alpha, right?

Comments

[meteorics]

[ sometimes, when cloud really lets himself think about it, it's kind of crazy how much stuff has changed. even a handful of months ago, the idea of letting himself be this comfortable being close with zack -- a senior officer (even if zack badgered him into dropping any and all formalities halfway through their first hangout), an alpha (screamingly obvious even if they've never had The Conversation), and officially the coolest person cloud knows (even if zack always tries to laugh that off and insist that cloud is the cool one).

sometimes it feels like some kind of karmic wires have gotten crossed, like there's supposed to be someone else sitting here on this couch and cloud's just stealing his spot. but! time keeps going by, and cloud keeps settling in here -- almost like this place was meant for him, after all. ]

Mmm? [ it's a distracted response to the first thing zack says, because they're on the final lap of the chocobo racing game zack had invited him over to play, and cloud's in the lead! but just by a nose, and there's high stakes on this one -- winner gets to decide on the pizza toppings they're ordering once the race is over. so he's focused, chewing on one corner of his lip and steering his chocobo carefully around that final hairpin turn --

and then zack goes and hits him with that.

it's unexpected enough that cloud jolts, heat immediately flooding into his face and eyes snapping up to zack, and the ruined concentration spells disaster for his chocobo. it goes immediately careening into the wall cloud was trying to avoid, and the rest of the pack sweeps past him. from first to dead last in a matter of seconds, and that means zack is free to order a pizza with weird toppings just because his stomach is made of steel and he thought fried malboro vines sounded interesting. ]

Wha -- [ pointedly looking at the screen and not at zack now, because. what kind of conversation starts with a question like that!! ] ... you waited 'til the last lap to ask that?

[exsurgo]

[ Oh, whoops. ]

Not on purpose! We can go again. Or you can just choose, that's probably safer anyway.

[ The malboro vines were interesting! Somehow soft and crunchy at the same time. It had been a real... unique experience! But Zack genuinely blurted it out because he got to the stage of Thinking About It where he couldn't do anything else, and not as a plot to seize an unearned victory and doom them to another night of freakzza. ]

I've just been thinking about it. 'cause you're the best, and I wanna make sure you know I really do think that and I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass. So that means there's some stuff I probably oughta tell you.

[meteorics]

[ okay, so maybe this wasn't a key part of zack's evil plan to order another weird pizza. but, if the alternative is having a conversation about That Stuff --

no!! cloud can totally handle it!! even if it's embarrassing, or... bad news, like what if zack is about to tell him he actually thinks omegas are gross, or something? ]

Uh, okay, I guess. [ shifting a little, thumbing at the controller in his hands even though the race is already over. ] Like what?

[exsurgo]

[ Okay, he was REAL BOLD a second ago but now that it comes to it, it's kind of awkward. He's about to tell Cloud there's a part of him that doesn't work the way it should, and that he made it that way on purpose. What if this is a dealbreaker? It's too late for Zack to share a rut with someone, but Cloud can still share a heat. And if he wants to do that he should get to! But... he's not the kinda guy who'd step out for a few days to get himself tended to, even if Zack tried really really hard to be okay with that happening.

He's borrowing trouble, he knows. They haven't even really done anything much yet. It's not like they're engaged, or something. He knows it's fairer to be upfront about it, but the thought of tanking this suddenly makes him a little sick.

He fidgets, his thumb making little circles on a stick of the controller that makes the screen in front of them freak out - not that he's watching it. ]

SOLDIER training stuff.

[ More than that, Zack! ]

So, I don't know if it's ever happened, but there's this idea that enemies could get the upper hand on Alphas in SOLDIER by inducing rut. Which makes sense, right? Once that kicks off you're useless in the field. So part of our training is to resist that. A little bit of extra juice in with the mako but mostly psychological stuff, you know? [ He taps his head, as if the point needs illustration. ] Anyway, once we get through it we're basically immune to all the... pheromones, and whatever.

I just wanted you to know. 'cause... if you go into heat I'm not gonna have a reaction, and I wanna make sure you know it's not because of you. [ He grins, sheepish, the smile not quite making it to his eyes. ] I know this is outta the blue, but I figured it's best to let you know ahead of time. Then it's not a surprise. And... if you, you know, feel like you have to make any choices because of that, you can do it with a clear head.

[meteorics]

[ it seems kind of weird that they'd need to have a serious conversation about... SOLDIER training stuff? but then zack keeps going, and oh. cloud blinks as understanding slowly settles in, and the nervous knot that was starting to tighten up in his belly eases up almost instantly. ]

It's not a big deal. I mean, not to me. I haven't even, uh... I mean, before I got to Midgar, I... um... I never had one. A heat. [ his face is on fire! and he's staring down intently at the controller in his lap like he can burn a hole through it with his eyes, scrunching down against the couch cushions just a little. ] The nurse that did the blood test said some people are just... like that.

[ granted, it had been pretty hard to take much in once cloud had gotten back the test results and seen omega stamped in the space for secondary sex. it had pretty much dashed all his dreams of SOLDIER right there on the spot -- it's not that they're explicitly forbidden from the program, but the unspoken reality is that there's no shot in hell. even having them in the enlisted ranks is rare enough, and plenty of people treat it like some kind of diversion before they go running off to play housewife. ]

And then they put me on suppressants, so. It doesn't really matter now.

[exsurgo]

[ Zack can't help breathing a sigh of relief at that, and MAN does he feel like a jerk for it. Cloud's sitting there blushing, confessing something that's obviously embarrassing or uncomfortable to him for whatever reason, and here Zack is, pleased about it. What a dick.

The least he can do is explain the sigh, so he reaches over and gives Cloud's hand a little squeeze. ]

That's cool. I mean, it's not cool, I'm just - I know I'm getting ahead of myself here, but I'm glad that it's not gonna be a situation where I can't give you something you need. Not that I'd expect you to want me to! It'd just suck if you did and I couldn't, is all.

Wow, I'm really bad at this, huh?

[meteorics]

[ okay, well. there might have been some risk of cloud letting himself get in his own head enough to feel bad about the way he's wired, but then zack goes and cheerfully bungles the next bit, and it ends up breaking any risk of tension. he flips his hand over so that he can give zack a little squeeze in return, and there's a little smile around the edges of his mouth when he finally gets the nerve to look up at him again. ]

It's cool. I don't think I ever really cared about that stuff, anyway. [ sure, maybe he'd indulged in a few fantasies about winding up as an alpha and sweeping tifa off her feet, but! ] I guess it's kinda nice that we don't have to worry about it?

[exsurgo]

Yeah!

[ Cloud smiles at him, and that's all it takes. It's gonna be okay! It's never gonna be a problem that he can't rut because there's never gonna be a time when Cloud needs him to, and all his little regrets about it fade like the smoke from a snuffed candle. This time when he smiles it's warm, real. ]

It's awesome that even the parts of us that are weird are weird in a way that lines up like that. Like fate, maybe.

[meteorics]

[ oh.

it's a weird thing to get all romantic about, but something about the way zack says it is enough to make cloud's heart flutter. especially when zack smiles at him like that, and cloud ducks his chin a little as his cheeks go hot all over again. ] You really don't mind?

I don't want you to feel like you're... missing out on something.

[exsurgo]

Nah. I started with Shinra before I ever had a rut and went on suppressants right off the bat anyway, so I've never had a real one to know what I'm missing out on. Just the ones that happened with testing, and they were no fun. Getting all fired up when I didn't want to and knowing that it was happening 'cause I failed, and then I couldn't even do anything about it? It sucked, dude.

[ Maybe it's too much to say, but Zack Fair is not an expert on matters of Enough, so he adds: ]

I got a little sad about it when I thought it meant I could never share it with you, but if it's not something you need then who cares? Not me.

[ It's kinda nice! It means that anything they do is just because of them, because of how much they like each other. Not because biology told them they had to. That's special, and he finishes the thought by leaning over to plant a big ol' kiss on Cloud's cheek. ]

[meteorics]

[ huh. the whole idea of getting your rut triggered on company time didn't exactly sound like a bad thing when zack first talked about it, but when he puts it like that...?

besides! if zack is sure, then cloud is sure! they can just skip the whole dumb thing about heats and ruts and just be them, and that's gotta be way better, right?

and yeah, sure, it makes a little spot inside cloud go all warm to think that zack likes him even without any dumb biological sway to tip things in his favor. zack was interested just because of cloud, and he wants to keep on sticking around for the same reason. and that's... really, really cool.

so he tips himself over until he can lean into zack's side, smiling up at him. ] Me neither. Makes us a good team, right?

[exsurgo]

The best.

[ Man, he could have planned this conversation better, but it's good to have it all out there. It could have been a disaster, but instead they've figured out that they're even more perfect for each other than they realized! Cloud leans in close and Zack curls an arm around him, warm and grateful, and ducks his head to press a little kiss to that sweet smile on his mouth. ]

Hey, is there a way to say "thanks for being you" that sounds like a cool and sexy thing that would impress a guy I like?

[meteorics]

Mm...

[ pretending to give the matter some very serious thought, even as he tips up again to steal another little kiss off zack's mouth. ] Maybe if you put it on a cake or something?

[exsurgo]

[ Zack's so glad they had their little chat! Things were pretty great between them already, but they're even better now. It really does feel like they're perfectly matched. Cloud comes over and they play games, get takeout, sometimes make out a bit, and there's a special kind of pride that goes along with knowing it's just because they're them. That they chose each other. It lets him revel in it - every time Cloud leans up close against him, every time he can't help curling an arm around Cloud or running a hand through his hair, it's just because of who they are, how much they like each other.

They're hanging out tonight. A stay at home date, kinda (A State! Zack had offered proudly, and Cloud had given him a flat look and a veto but still said he'd come over). It seems like Cloud's been a little under the weather recently, so they're gonna take it easy. If all Cloud wants to do is catch a nap in Zack's bed, that's cool! They're been going a little further with things recently and there's an excitement about that that usually infuses these nights - last time they'd ended up rubbing up against each other while they made out so much that they both ended up coming in their pants, which had been AMAZING - but Zack files that thought away in favour of looking after Cloud. He's tidied up his room (seriously, which means he tidied until he thought it looked good and then sent Angeal pics for further instructions, of which there were a lot), changed the bedding to the nicest, warmest, comfiest stuff he has (washed even though it came right out of the drawer so it would be extra-fresh!) snagged some movies so they can watch them together if Cloud's too tired for games, and stocked his fridge with orange juice and some healthy snacks in addition to the usual soda and junk. Best of all, he found (okay, he asked Kunsel and Kunsel found) a little place that does Nibelheim-style food, so he picked some up to go and has it ready to heat up. Nothing makes you feel better when you're down than a little taste of home, right?

He's been working on getting Cloud to just let himself in, and they're making progress! Cloud still knocks, but he'll open the door after - even if he always calls a cautious greeting and waits for Zack to respond before he enters. This time he actually steps inside, and Zack's head snaps up to praise him for it - but the smile freezes on his face when he sees Cloud. Cloud usually dresses pretty conservative, just about everything covered up, but tonight he looks like he's dressed for the peak of summer heat. Light fabric, a lot more of his arms showing than usual, and Zack furrows his brow. ]

Dude. Aren't you sick? You should be wrapped up!

[ He doesn't actually wait for a reply, grabs a nearby hoodie and strides over to Cloud, hellbent on putting it on him. Cloud's not gonna freeze on his watch! ]

[meteorics]

[ the past week or so has been... weird.

and not even exactly in a bad way? sure, it had started with that whole weird mix-up with medical -- he'd gone in for the usual refill of the suppressants he's supposed to take, and they'd given him a shot instead, and when cloud had asked if this was something new, the nurse had just started frowning at their paperwork and then shooed cloud out without another word of explanation. which, yeah, annoying. but if shinra has come out with some kinda monthly shot instead of a pill cloud has to remember every week? he'll take it.

but it only took a few days for things to get weirder from there. guys in his unit who have always ignored him at best and been dicks to him at worst are suddenly paying weird amounts of attention to him. some of them even invited him out last weekend, which had been nice, even if cloud had turned them down -- zack had already asked him to come over and watch a movie, and that always takes precedence. and then two of them had gotten in a weird shoving match about trying to hold the door open for cloud when they'd been leaving one of the classrooms, which was... uh, weird? but maybe nice? and then, when they'd been paired up for hand-to-hand sparring practice, his partner kept getting so flustered whenever they were supposed to be practicing a grapple that he kept letting cloud get the pin?

but no, hands down, the weirdest thing had been when cloud was assigned a stupid guard shift where he was supposed to stand beside an elevator that almost no one ever uses on a floor that no one ever comes to, and he'd been standing there and trying valiantly not to yawn when the elevator doors had opened and general sephiroth had emerged. and that was already -- wow! but then he'd stopped dead a few steps outside the elevator, looked directly at cloud, and then cloud was almost one hundred percent certain his eyes had done something really cool but also kinda freaky that made him look like a cat? and cloud had just been staring, absolutely useless and so stunned he'd even forgotten to salute, but then sephiroth had given himself a little shake like someone waking up from a daze and gone swooping up the hall before cloud had even gotten his breath back.

weird... but cool!

and maybe he would even be enjoying all of the attention a little more, but it kind of feels like he's coming down with a cold or something? he can't seem to get a good night's sleep -- he keeps waking up in the middle of the night with the sheets soaked with sweat, and it's so gross he has to slink off to the showers just to get comfortable again. plus, he's achy everywhere and battling a headache that never really seems to want to go away, so tired that even the usual battalion drills have his knees going wobbly. even his clothes feel extra uncomfortable, like maybe they swapped to a new kind of laundry detergent that he's allergic to, and it's forced him into wearing short-sleeves and a pair of zack's sweatpants that he'd stolen and haven't given back (rolled up four times at the ankles, but he's making it work!)

but he's made it! now he has the next few days off, and he gets to start them off by hanging out with zack, who always just treats him like cloud. he can forget about all the weird stuff, and --

then zack comes bounding over to him, cheerful as a puppy that has just been offered some walkies, and the smell of him hits cloud in the face like a physical blow. he flattens himself back against the door, choking on a sound that's embarrassingly close to a moan as the smell sizzles all the way through him and settles like a blazing ember at the pit of his belly. he's?? suddenly?? horrifyingly?? aware that he's hard, and even worse? he's... wet. enough for him to be able to feel it dripping down his thighs, soaking into the fabric of his (borrowed) sweatpants, and.

oh god. ]

Zack? Wait -- [ it's halfway to a whine, confused and overwhelmed in equal measure. ] Wha -- What are you --?

[exsurgo]

[ He's not even near Cloud yet when the smell hits him. Sweet and warm but in a wholesome way, like the air that wafts out of a bakery in the morning. He pauses for a second, eyes blowing wide, and then he resumes his mission with double the determination. Grabbing at Cloud and manipulating his arms so slip them into the sleeves of the hoodie even if he can't quite bring himself to zip it up. He's in Zack's sweats, too, and it registers that Cloud's now wrapped up mostly in Zack's clothing and the thought of that zips a bolt of heat right through him. He tugs Cloud a little closer, ducks his head so he can bury his face against Cloud's neck, inhales deeply. ]

You smell good. You change your shower gel or something?

[ Good is an understatement. He breathes in again, basically huffing Cloud at this point, and feels desire coil hot and tight inside him. ]

[meteorics]

[ okay, cloud was pretty sure he had a good argument for why zack should stay over there, but then zack ends up crowding into cloud's personal space and tugging that hoodie around him, and cloud's brain abruptly forgets how to do its one fucking job.

has zack... always smelled like this? like the way the air smells when a storm is rolling up over the mountains, but also like cloud has opened the door to his mom's spice cabinet and breathed in. and the smell surrounds cloud like it's a blanket zack has wrapped around him, making his knees go wobbly underneath him and his head spin. it's almost a relief when zack wraps his arms around him, because cloud is pretty sure that his legs might buckle under him otherwise --

but that also puts zack in dangerous proximity. and by the time cloud has clawed back enough awareness to ask himself what the hell?, he realizes that he's rutting his hips against zack's thigh and making a bunch of embarrassing little mewling noises, and.

wait!! seriously!! what the hell!!

so now he's squirming, trying to put both palms against zack's chest and making an effort at pushing him away. if he can just get a little space! like a foot or two (maybe twenty), then he can get his head clear enough to figure out what's going on! and that's important! ... right? ]

Wait, Zack -- [ not even close to convincing, breathless and dazed. ] Something's weird, I --?

[exsurgo]

[ Wait?

No wait. Touch. That press was enough to let him know Cloud's hard, which is great timing because Zack is too (when did that happen?) and when Cloud puts his hands up in an effort to push him away Zack just holds on and pulls him closer, sandwiching their bodies together. Cloud feels good, and he smells good, and Zack can just tell that he's gonna taste good, too, so he parts his lips and drags his tongue against the skin of Cloud's throat. Something in him roars with that, wild and wanting, and -

oh fuck. Zack knows this feeling. Sure, he's used to having it in a sterile setting with a little heart monitor on, but he knows it, and the realization is enough to snap him into enough clarity to launch himself away from Cloud. Cloud, who said wait, and Zack didn't.]

Cloud. I'm sorry, man, sorry, I -

[ He lifts a hand, meaning to hold it out in a gesture of apology, but that hand was on Cloud and the horny little animal part of his brain makes him bring it to his face and sniff it like there'll be a trace of Cloud still on it. ]

What the fuck, this isn't supposed to happen.

[meteorics]

[ oh.

zack tugs him even closer, until cloud is pressed right up against the line of his body, and all the reasons they need to stop and figure out what's going on scatter right out of his head. like this, cloud can feel that zack is hard against him, dick nudging into cloud's stomach, and wow. and then zack's mouth is on his throat, hot and wet, and cloud moans. his hands go from flat against zack's chest to curled in the fabric of his shirt, arching into him and tipping his head back to give zack better access.

why was he worried? obviously, this is good. zack thinks cloud smells good, zack wants him, and both of those things are a warm shot of satisfaction that echoes inside cloud. he's good. and he wants zack to know that, wants to show him, wants to make sure zack knows exactly how good cloud can be for him --

and then, all at once, zack is tearing away from him in a burst of motion. cloud is left slouching against the door and using it to hold himself upright, flushed and panting and looking at zack with fever-hazy eyes. ] ... Zack?

[ he has absolutely, entirely forgotten about trying to shove zack away and figure out what's wrong. and that's obvious in the way he takes a little half-step forward, licking his lips like zack is a meal worth drooling over. (he is.) ] Wha's wrong?

[exsurgo]

I -

[ There's no sugar-coating it. There's isn't time. He tries to smile, and he can feel how apologetic it is on his face. ]

I'm going into rut.

[ A pause. Nope. ]

No, I think - I'm in rut. And you - I'm pretty sure you're in heat. The way you smell, it's -

[ he sniffs again, hoping to describe it, and even from this distance it's a mistake. His eyes flutter half-closed, rolling back to show the whites. Fuck. ]

It's so good, Cloud, I don't even know how to tell you.

I don't know what to do.

[ His hands make fists at his side, scrunched tight because he just knows if he doesn't keep them firm at his sides he's gonna try and touch Cloud, and they should... talk about it, maybe? But the want in him is so strong, and he doesn't know how much talking he can do like this. It was never like this in testing - most of the time there wasn't even an actual omega around to get all fixated on, just pheromones being pumped into the room, and he wants Cloud so bad it's hard to trust himself. ]

[meteorics]

[ okay. that's weird enough to stop cloud in his tracks, and he blinks hard as he tries to focus on what zack is saying. that... doesn't make sense? and it takes him another long moment to remember why, brow knitted with confusion. ]

But... huh?

[ it's like trying to think through syrup. but zack seems stressed out about it enough for cloud to know it's important for him to focus, so he's trying! ] ... I can't, though. I'm on... stuff.

[ and if he was going into heat, he'd know, right? it's not like cloud is an expert, but...! everything he'd read about during a few frantic internet searches made it sound obvious, like your body sends you a piece of certified mail to make sure you know what's coming. he's pretty sure heats don't happen like this, where you walk into your boyfriend's apartment and get slugged across the face with a smell that makes your brain melt. ]

And you're... you had... [ he flaps his hands a little as he fumbles for the word, the too-long sleeves of zack's hoodie just making the gesture extra-ridiculous. ] ... training.

[exsurgo]

I know.

[ He sounds miserable. It's not even that he's failed his training. It's the thought that he gave Cloud that little speech that he had expected to be disappointing but also must have made him seems safe, and it took him about 30 seconds to ignore Cloud saying wait and haul him in close like he was gonna hump him right against the door. ]

I want you so bad. And that's - I mean, I always do, but not like this. Not like I can't be in control of it. And there's this feeling like - here, and here - [ he points - the back of his neck, right at the base of his skull, and then low on his abdomen, maybe a hand's width above his dick ] that's just like it was when they were testing me. And you smell like -

[ another sniff, and that's a fucking disaster, because he moans. ]

Fuck, Cloud, are you wet?

[meteorics]

[ zack is saying all of this like it's some kind of disaster, but cloud's brain is having a really hard time figuring out what's so bad about zack wanting him. that's a good thing, right? cloud wants zack to want him. all the time, like crazy, exactly like cloud does --

and then zack moans, and cloud is pretty sure the whole building wobbles underneath his feet. for a long moment, all he can do is stare at zack, slightly open-mouthed and with his brain sizzling in his skull. but, ah -- zack asked him something, and it sounded important --

cloud blinks.

then blinks again, and then color goes flooding into his face. more embarrassment than arousal, even though there's still plenty of the latter. because he is wet, enough for him to be soaking through the fabric of his sweatpants, wet enough for zack to be able to smell him even from a few feet away. and that... that obviously means... ]

I -- [ eyes wide, the barest edge of panic trying to creep in. ] Oh. Oh no, I didn't --

I'm sorry! [ blurting it out, because he feels like it's what he should do. ] Do you want me to -- I can leave? I --

[exsurgo]

No.

[ It comes out low, thick. The last thing Zack wants is for Cloud to leave. He wants go go back over to him, pick him up, carry him to bed and not let him leave until he's so well-fucked he can barely remember his own name. Wouldn't even have to get out to eat, Zack got food in for him - he could feed him right there in bed and then they could go again -

and man, that thought puts things in perspective. He always wants to look after Cloud, but all the cleaning, busting out the nice bedding, choosing food that he thinks would be special for Cloud? This has been coming. For days, maybe. It makes sense he wouldn't pick it, because in the labs everything happened so fast he didn't have much time to linger on anything but the obvious stuff, but now he knows. Something in him picked out Cloud as a mate to provide for before he even knew it was happening.

He shakes his head. ]

I don't want you to leave. But if you want to, I think you better do it now.

[meteorics]

I don't want to.

[ immediately, almost before he has the chance to think about it. but as soon as the words are out, cloud knows they're true. he's been feeling weird and out of sorts for days, and the first time he felt right again was when he was all wrapped up in zack's arms. ]

I mean, I know we talked about it before, and... we both said it was cool if it never happened, but, um... [ shifting from foot to foot, ducking his chin shyly. ] ... if it is, I'd be okay with it. As long as it's with you.

And, uh! [ tacking it on quickly, because he doesn't want to sound like a jerk! ] As long as you're into it, too.