no matter any weather

[exsurgo]

[ It’s funny how things come full circle, sometimes. They’d been on holiday in Costa del Sol when Zack pulled the fantasy of working a little farm together out of thin air. Now they’re moving everything into the little farm they’ve bought for cheap because the previous owners won big at the Gold Saucer, wanted to sell up and move to Costa del Sol. So lucky, it’s like something straight out of a dream. Fitting, since the process of getting here had seemed like a nightmare.

It started with Wutai. No, it should have started with Wutai. All those people who just wanted to live their lives on their own land, and Shinra sent in SOLDIER to make sure that didn’t happen. And Zack had done as he was told; loved it, even, thinking only of impressing Director Lazard. But then there’d been that girl who tried to scam him, sending him off to find materia, and it was only after Zack had made her cry a couple times that he started asking questions. Like, what did a little kid need all that materia for anyway, and where were all the adults in her life when she was out trying to swindle a member of Shinra’s elite fighting force?

He'd gone to Angeal hoping to be talked out of his doubts. That? Had not happened. What happened was a fast track to honorable discharge (with documentation that Zack strongly suspects was faked, because Shinra doesn’t let anyone go easy) for him and Cloud both, money that Angeal had said he wasn’t going to need with a funny sort of smile on his face. Zack hadn’t understood, but by the end of Angeal’s explanation he’d been in tears, and never more grateful that Cloud, at least, had never made it into SOLDIER. Although even if he had, it probably wouldn’t have stopped him from looking like he was going to faint when Angeal gave them both goodbye hugs and told them to live well.

He'll never forget it, but it seems very far away now. They didn’t have a lot of possessions to move. The farm equipment was included in the sale, and the house on the land is small but cosy; lots of polished wood surfaces, a fireplace in the living room, faded floral curtains that the owner had said would need to be replaced, but that Zack kind of likes. Best of all is the little stable with a pair of work chocobos; they’d been wary of Zack, fluffing up their feathers to seem bigger, but when Cloud had gone in and quietly said hi to them it had only taken about ten minutes for one of them to nestle her head in against Cloud’s neck and the look on his face had made it all worth it.

Tomorrow, he’ll be planting all day. There’s a tiny crop of corn and greens for chocobo feed, but the rest of the fields have lain fallow since the old owners made their plans to get out. It’s gonna take work to get it running profitably, but it’ll be good work. Honest. And he’ll have Cloud here with him; Cloud, who has just put down the last box and is standing there looking around the room like he can’t quite believe it. Zack can; he believes in this, because he believes in Cloud. He walks over and loops his arms around him from behind, nuzzles his face into Cloud’s hair. ]

Welcome home.

Comments

[meteorics]

[ it isn't easy, letting go of a dream.

zack likes to say it isn't giving up, that they're just trading in one dream for another. and that sounds good, but... it doesn't entirely get rid of the little pit at cloud's stomach. the part of him that wants to hold onto his dream of being a hero, his idea of what the SOLDIER program was. even after zack showed him the stuff shinra had tried to cover up -- degradation, the names of all the SOLDIERs who had disappeared, the truth of the war in wutai...

... it just sucks.

honestly? the only way cloud has really figured out how to deal with it is to ignore it, to push down all the bad stuff and let zack's enthusiasm paper over his own doubts. and it helps to see zack this happy; throwing himself into the planning and the move with cheerful gusto, dragging cloud into his lap to show him seed catalogs or online videos of DIY projects the two of them can tackle around the house. and it helps to know that this move gets zack away from everything he'd warned cloud about -- no more mako treatments, no more heightened risk of degradation, no more having to watch him force himself to fight for things he doesn't believe in. that alone makes it worth it. that's what cloud's gotta focus on.

but now that they're here? setting down the last of the moving boxes, looking around the place and realizing it's really theirs? it... feels good. like he made the right choice, even if it was the hard one. like maybe this can be the better dream they build together, after all.

and right on cue, zack steps up behind him and slides his arms around cloud, nuzzles into his hair. it makes cloud go warm all over, and he leans back into the contact and lifts one hand to give zack's forearm a little squeeze. ]

Sure you're ready for this? [ with just a hint of teasing in his voice. ] You've been a city boy for a pretty long time.

[exsurgo]

Hey, you should know as well as I do. You can take the boy out of the backwater, but you can't take the backwater out of the boy.

[ Although technically this place isn't quite as backwater as either Nibelheim or Gongaga for one crucial reason: no mako reactor. It means that sometimes city folk come through to stay in farmhouses and think they're rustic for gathering their own eggs for breakfast, to ooh and aah at the country folk and their quaint way of life, which sounds annoying even though Zack is currently pretty much one of those people. But it also means there's zero reason for a Shinra presence out here. And for that, Zack will shovel all the chocobo shit onto his fields that the fates can provide, and he'll do it happily. ]

My parents pretty much let me run wild when I was a kid. I can catch a fish with my bare hands. Climb just about any tree you can point to. But for the first time in my life, I kinda wish they'd given me more chores. I got a lot of learning to do.

[meteorics]

[ huffing a little laugh. ]

Well, I guess if we can't grow anything, you can try your luck in the stream out back.

[ but! ] My mom had a garden back home, and I used to help her out. Probably covers some of the basics.

[exsurgo]

[ And there it is again. Whenever Zack starts to get down about it, whenever he starts to doubt: Cloud, shining hope and guidance like the North star. Reminding Zack why he had to leave, why this is so much better, even when he doesn't mean to. ]

Between that and all the fish I can scoop up, at least we won't starve! Aerith gave me some tips, too. She's more about flowers than fruit and veggies, but they all grow. It's gotta be similar, right?

[ And she said she's always willing to give advice, but it'll have to come the old fashioned way - posted letters. Tseng's a company man through and through; Zack doesn't think he'd keep tabs on them through Aerith, not when they're officially discharged, but it's a risk they shouldn't take. ]

[meteorics]

[ see? it's hard to find room for doubt when you're faced with that kind of enthusiasm. ]

I mean... plants are plants, right? [ and now he's wriggling in zack's hold until he can turn himself around, leaning up to press a kiss right to the tip of his nose. ] We're gonna kill this farmer thing.

[exsurgo]

Don't forget: sexy farmers. 'cause then we're at least halfway there.

[ More than halfway, surely! They're sexy, they have a farm. Now all that's left is the growing part!

But for tonight at least, he wants to just revel in it. They're free, and they're in love. No matter what else happens, they have that. Cloud kisses the end of his nose and Zack chases it, pulling him in, kissing him tenderly on the lips. ]

Thanks, Cloud. I couldn't stay, but... I couldn't have left without you.

[meteorics]

You don't have to thank me for that.

[ but after a kiss like that? he can't help but smile. ]

Wherever you go, I go. That's why we're a team.

[exsurgo]

The best team.

[ It's a small mercy that they don't have to worry much about furnishing the house unless they want to replace stuff - the sellers had been flush enough with their newfound wealth that they'd left a lot of stuff, just pleased not to have to deal with disposal. The upshot of that it that there's already a sofa there, just waiting - and that's where Zack pulls Cloud, by fingertips hooked in the waistband of his jeans. Civilian clothes on the regular is another thing that Zack's going to have to get used to, but he has to admit there's a lot less to worry about getting off than there as with their uniforms. He plonks down on the sofa, pulls Cloud into his lap so he can wrap him up in his arms. ]

You think we're gonna pull this off?

[meteorics]

[ he’s laughing as zack tugs him along by the belt loops, going down willingly and tucking himself up against zack’s chest. and it’s nice not to be having to listen out for the chime of a phs and worry that it’s one of them being called away for a deployment; doubly nice to think that cloud won’t have to set a pre-dawn alarm to get up for morning drills. they’ve finally got time, stretched out in front of them like a luxury. ]

Duh. [ pressing a kiss to zack’s cheek, and then another to the corner of his mouth. ] Fairweather Farms is gonna be world-famous. People are gonna beg us to ship our stuff all over the Planet.

[ does cloud know exactly how they’re gonna get there? no. but does he believe in zack with all his heart? hell yes. and cloud’s job is just to remind zack every day how awesome he is, then that’s exactly what he’s gonna do. ]

[exsurgo]

Oooh. I love it when you talk like that.

[ He says it like it's a joke, but he does. It's one thing to tackle this new challenge with boundless, blind optimism; it's another entirely to do it with Cloud by his side, telling him it's gonna be okay. That they're gonna be okay. It's been tough since he started to figure things out. Since it really hit home that he's a science experiment. Worse, since he started to process the things he did in Shinra's name. They'd acted like the people they set SOLDIER against were dangerous extremists who would stop at nothing to bring Shinra down, that innocent people were at risk. It hadn't been that way at all. Mostly, they'd just been people fighting not to get swallowed up in the name of profit. Wutai hadn't been a war; it was an invasion. A massacre. And if Zack was one of the people doing it, what did that make him?

But every time he feels himself getting dark about it, every time the part of himself that can't forgive him whispers it makes you a murderer, there's Cloud. Leaving him a link to bird netting to protect the berries, or cracking the worst joke he can think of to snap Zack out of it, or just laying with him in the dark and holding him, so he's not alone with it.

He twines his arms around Cloud, falls back so they're laying over the couch, taking comfort in Cloud's weight over him. ]

I love you.

[meteorics]

[ cloud lets himself sprawl out on top of zack, folding his arms on top of zack's chest and propping his chin on him. it gives him the perfect vantage point to keep soaking up the sight of zack's face -- to remind himself that this is why he's here, because he wants to see zack relaxed and easy and happy forever. ]

I love you too. [ it's soft, warm. ] You know I'd follow you anywhere, right?

[exsurgo]

I do.

[ And that's why he can't regret finding out and having his hero dreams busted. Sure, he's not fighting the bad fight anymore, and he's dodging the more severe risks of degradation, and that's all stuff to be grateful for - but getting Cloud out of it? That's worth everything. ]

I'm just glad you could follow me somewhere good.

[meteorics]

Somewhere with you in overalls? [ teasing, one corner of his mouth tugging up. ] Wasn't even a hard choice.

[exsurgo]

[ How can he not laugh at that? He ruffles Cloud's hair, which may or may not act as a distraction from the other hand which he places squarely on Cloud's butt. ]

Gonna be out in the fields all day getting all hot and tanned for when my sexy motorcycle-riding deliveryman boyfriend gets home.

[meteorics]

[ it is not a distraction! but fortunately for zack, cloud kinda likes when zack's hand is on his butt. and he tugs down the collar of the other man's shirt just a little, enough to press a kiss to the center of his collarbones. ]

Y'know, not to get all traditional on you... but it's kinda hot. Thinking about you working hard to make a home for us. For me. Is that weird?

[exsurgo]

[ That kiss gets a pleased little hum. It's so good to be like this, on charge of their own time, their own lives, and choosing to spend it with each other. ]

Nah. Even if it is weird, I'll take it. Animals do that, right? Try and show how well they can provide, what a good nest they can make, so they can snag the best mate?

[ It's a good thought, and knowing that Cloud thinks it's hot just makes it better. He sneaks a hand up Cloud's shirt, lets his hand stroke over the warm skin of Cloud's back. ]

I'm just doing it backwards. I already got the mate I want. 'course, I'm always willing to show off my plumage for you whenever you want, if that'll help.

[meteorics]

[ ... okay, it's probably bad form to laugh at the guy who's trying to flirt with you, but. why is it so easy to imagine zack doing one of those funky little bird dances? feather-shaking and all!

if it helps, he tries to bury his face into zack's chest to muffle the little bark of laughter. (it doesn't help at all.) ]

[exsurgo]

[ Luckily for Zack's ego, there's not a whole lot he likes better than making Cloud laugh. And he doesn't exactly have plumage (unless they count his hairstyle, which - unlike Cloud's - does require a certain amount of coaxing) but Cloud burying his face in Zack's chest makes him think he might have the next best thing.

He flexes one pec, and then the other, back and forth in the manner most often seen on obnoxious muscle men or male strippers. Just casually bouncing Cloud's face around with a tiddy dance, no big deal. ]

[meteorics]

[ oh my god. it only takes about two bounces for cloud to pick his head up again to see what zack is actually doing, and once he does? those laughs that he's been trying his hardest to stifle end up escaping in an avalanche. ]

No way! I changed my mind! [ acting like he's about to roll off of zack and make his escape -- but giving plenty of time for zack to keep him trapped right there. ] I'm heading back to Midgar right now.

[exsurgo]

No! You don't like my mating dance?

[ It takes a lot of coordination to hook Cloud firmly in place with one arm while keeping up the bouncing pecs routine, but he manages! Maybe Shinra was good for something other than the two of them meeting after all. ]

C'mon! It's this or going out to try and catch you a real juicy worm.

[meteorics]

N-Neither of those things are good options!

[ unfortunately, cloud never got all that fancy SOLDIER training. maybe that explains why he isn't managing the task of wheezing with laughter and trying to wiggle successfully out of zack's (very bouncy) hold. ]

[exsurgo]

Oh yeah? Good thing I have one last trick up my sleeve.

[ He says it like it's going to be terrible. Like he's about to break into a bird call or something. Leaves it just long enough to let that fear brew (and to admire Cloud laughing, his second favourite sight in the world) -

and then hauls him up a little into a kiss. Which is surprisingly difficult to do when Cloud is laughing so hard, so fortunately he stops with the bouncing as he does it. ]

[meteorics]

[ oh god. what kind of trick would zack fair be saving for last? an attempt at breakdancing? popping and locking? twerking? any and all of those options are more than enough to give cloud an aneurysm, which is why maybe the squirming gets just a little more desperate --

and then zack hauls him up into a kiss. the laughter ends up getting cut off with a startled little mmph!, but fortunately? cloud is almost always more than happy to kiss zack, even after he's been jiggling his pecs. so he melts right into it for a long moment, before he breaks away and pulls back just enough to say: ]

Should've been your opening act.

[exsurgo]

I'll make up for it with the encore.

[ And he winks, grinning, before he tugs Cloud back in to kiss him again - slow this time, initially to try and get the upper hand but then just because he gets into it. How could he not? Cloud's gorgeous, all bright-eyed and pink-cheeked with laughter. And Zack? He's happy. Really, truly happy, in a way he hasn't really been since that first conversation with Angeal. Not like eveything was a front; he was genuinely excited when they found the farm, really did enjoy all the planning and plotting that he and Cloud did together. But there was always a little weight there, an understanding that there was still time for things to go very wrong - and they didn't. It's all worked out. If Cloud thinks the idea of Zack working to make a nice little home for them together is hot, maybe Zack's discovering he's pretty turned on by the idea of happily ever after. ]

[meteorics]

[ cloud has just enough time for a little ugh in response to that wink before zack is pulling him back in. and maybe he should be playing a little harder to get, even if it's just for show, but he never quite manages the trick of it when it's zack. especially when it's zack kissing him like this, slow and sweet and wonderful. cloud can't resist the urge to slide his arms around zack's shoulders and lean into it, licking teasingly over zack's lower lip in an invitation for him to deepen it. ]