I don't wanna sail tonight

[bde]

[ It was supposed to be simple. In the aftermath of the war, there were handfuls of planets which had access to outside information so thoroughly suppressed that they were unaware they were now free. Rarer still, planets in distant corners of the universe that had been unaware of the war at all. It’s a big decision, to reach out to those planets, unsure if a visit will constitute first contact, but weighed against the possibility that should invasion ever happen again they may have no allies to call upon, it’s the lesser evil. It’s one of these trips that Shiro volunteers for. One of the diplomats who was supposed to be involved is needed elsewhere, and the visit is set to be delayed, and Shiro – bored while Keith is away working with the Blades and something of an ambassador-by-default due to his work with Voltron – offers to step in.

It’s not until they’re close to landing and all the communications on their ship cut out that they realize their mistake. This isn’t a planet that has escaped the war at all – it’s the first kind, still in the grips of it, mining their own resources to be sent offworld to make weapons and ships for a now-defunct empire. Shiro is surprised to find almost no Galra presence at all – most of the guards are natives of the planet itself, as is the woman he’s taken to when he asks to speak to whoever is in charge. He explains, carefully, that the war is over. That the Galra Empire has fallen. That they’re free.

There’s pure, undisguised hate in her eyes when she responds. This is a test, she spits. I know who you are, Champion. I won’t give your masters a reason to slaughter the people I’ve sacrificed everything for the way you slaughtered my brother.

Pain, then, a bright flare of it as one of the guards hits the side of his head, and just enough time to see the rest of the delegation restrained before consciousness slips away from him.

~

It sounds almost like they’re underwater. He hears the whoosh of his pulse in his ears but the words – the questions he’s being asked, things he couldn’t answer even if he wanted about some conspiracy that doesn’t exist – are all far away, blurred. It takes long moments to realize he’s stripped down and restrained, but the information comes to him less in a flash of horror and more like remembering a nightmare – it’s distant, fuzzy, like it’s not really happening. One of the guards produces an implement that looks like a cross between a pitchfork and a cattle prod, the end lit up and sparking, and nothing changes but for sudden arrival of a high-pitched whine in his ears, and Shiro watches quietly. He’s quiet, too, when the door is torn from its hinges and people in tight black uniforms pour through, moving like water. One of them – the shortest – moves to him, rips off a hood that reveals yellow, slit-pupilled eyes and eye teeth like fangs, tips his chin up with a hand that ends in pointed claws and says his name, urgent and insistent.

Oh, Shiro says, Keith, before it’s all dark again.

~

He is uninjured. He knows this both from the feeling in his own body – a little tender where his head was hit and chafed at wrist and ankle where he was restrained – and from the checks that Keith insists on, more than once, to reassure himself. It’s better now, quiet in the room they’ve been given as he’s shuttled back to Earth, and he realizes that it wasn’t injury but overload that shut him down the second time.

He has a small army of therapists, back home. He hopes they’re not busy, and that they’re well-paid.

There’s been a debrief, though it was nothing that he couldn’t have guessed. The poor woman was insane, acting as slavemaster to her own people in the belief that it would keep them safe, and if it hadn’t been for the extremely timely arrival of the Blades, Shiro and the rest of the delegation would likely be dead by now. The remains of the last batch of offworlders to touch down on the planet were testament to that.

This information comes to Shiro via pad, while Keith paces the length of the room they’re in. Honestly, that’s more of a concern to Shiro than anything that happened. It’s not as if he hasn’t seen this reaction in Keith before, but it’s always been temporary. Fleeting, even – something that appears briefly with a loss of control or extraordinary stress, and then is gone just as quickly. Shiro’s never seen it cling to him this way. And it would be interesting, even beautiful, if it weren’t accompanied by the pacing and snarling and the need to make someone pay that Shiro can feel pouring off of Keith. Eventually, he sighs. ]

Keith. Would you come and sit down? I’m fine.

Comments

[feralistic]

[ shiro is safe.

it should be enough to take the fire out of keith's blood, to soothe the angry roar in his skull. shiro is safe -- confirmed first by the combat medic who meets them where shiro was being held captive, and then again by the medical team aboard their shuttle back to earth. and keith has confirmed it for himself a number of other times; touching, scenting, making sure of the rhythm of shiro's breathing and his pulse as if it would dispel the battle-fever that has its claws in keith.

but it doesn't.

he can still see it clearly in his mind's eye: shiro, bound and bleeding in a cell, meeting keith's eyes in one flicker of recognition before the light of awareness faded and he slumped forward. and for a few raw, terrible moments, keith had thought he had lost him. that shiro was gone, taken from him, lost to him. he didn't even remember what happened next; something like a scream rose up from the very deepest parts of him, and he didn't come back to himself until the combat medic was finding shiro's pulse with his fingers and giving keith that tight nod that meant things were all right.

shiro is safe. shiro is alive. shiro is okay.

and still, keith can't remember how to calm the roar inside of him. killing the people who'd hurt him this time wasn't enough -- there's something inside keith that wants to rip apart time itself, travel backwards and then forwards until he's killed everyone who ever hurt shiro and anyone who ever will. even the warm rumble of black at the corners of his mind doesn't ease him off the edge; he feels stranded inside this place within him, ink-black quicksand that drags him deeper the harder he tries to struggle out.

it's the first time the transformation has been this complete, lasted this long. it's fortunate that the hooded uniform of the blades covers up enough to keep anyone from asking questions -- without it, galra is written across every inch of keith. the purple skin, the yellow eyes, the wicked-sharp teeth, the clawed fingers, and the tail that lashes behind him like an angry cat's. just as damning are the fluffy purple triangles of his ears, immediately up and straining towards the sound of shiro's voice like satellites.

i'm fine. shiro is fine. shiro is okay. shiro is alive.

the words ping uselessly off him, rain on a tin roof, and keith growls a low note of frustration. ]

No.

[bde]

[ No, Keith growls, and Shiro almost startles. He can't remember the last time Keith spoke to him that way. Can't remember it at all, as a matter of fact, and somehow that's even more alarming than Keith's... new look. Purple and fluffy Shiro's sure he can get used to, if it turns out to be permanent. This level of anger? Well, it's justified, he supposes - he can't imagine he'd be much better off if their roles were reversed - but frankly? It's stressing him out. He gets up from the bed Keith was pretty insistent he rest on, starts to cross over to him. ]

Keith. Enough with the pacing, please. It's making me antsy.

[ Which sounds like an accusation, and he puts a hand on Keith's shoulder to soften it. ]

[feralistic]

[ keith is pretty sure shiro doesn't mean to back him into a corner. probably doesn't even notice that he did it, but keith sure does, some primal part of his hindbrain lighting up with a bright red !!

it's not like he doesn't trust shiro. he trusts him more than anyone, anything, even more than every instinct that always made flying seem exactly like where he's supposed to be. but right now? he's a kettle full of steam with no way to vent it; there's an insistent part of him that wants to drag shiro down to the dark bowels of the ship, wants to find some secret corner to curl up with him in and nestnestnest until it feels safe again. and that part bristles at being cornered, kicks the fight-or-fight bubbling through him up another notch.

it takes keith a moment to even realize that the little trilling growl is coming from him.

and when he does, he flushes, some of that stiff tension swapping itself out for embarrassment. ] Sorry.

I don't -- [ eyes sliding away from shiro, staring at some fixed point over his shoulder. already, just having to stand still is like an itch underneath his skin. ] ... it's never been like this before.

[bde]

[ As much as Shiro loves Keith, and much as he trusts him and knows Keith would never, ever hurt him, there's a part of him that is painfully aware of how much work went into getting him to a point where having someone who appears to be full Galra growling doesn't activate all his worst instincts. When they get home, he's buying Dr Zhang a cheesecake and a bunch of flowers. For now, though -

Keith's not looking at him, and maybe that's the hardest thing so far. ]

Hey, I wasn't exactly at my best, either. [ An understatement, maybe, but if he has to weigh up mentally checking right the fuck out vs venting someone into space as panic reactions go? Not his worst, either. ]

That felt too much like a repeat of old situations to work out for either of us. But it's over now. What do you need? You want to cuddle? Want to spar?

[feralistic]

[ it's over now.

if only his brain could get his body to believe that.

but the dual offer of cuddle and spar makes one fluffy ear perk up from where it's been flattening, honing in on shiro even though keith is still staunchly not looking at him. both sound good, but neither one is exactly what he needs -- his mind paints the picture of shiro wrapping him up the way he always does when they cuddle, but also? the last time they sparred, the way shiro got him down into a hold before keith could slip it, pressed his chest against keith's back and keith's cheek against the floor and murmured tap out, baby into his ear.

ah. well. at least the growling has been swapped out for purring. that's got to count as an improvement, right? ]

Shiro. [ keith's never been particularly shy about asking for what he needs, telling shiro what to give him. the problem is that now he doesn't really know -- his brain is a patchwork of discordant thoughts, and he can't put his thumb on the thing that'll give him the outlet he needs. ] I --

[bde]

[ Oh, that's -

that's a new sound. And one Shiro likes. Or... thinks he likes, at least. It's like a cat's purr, but lower, rumblier - like if it was coming from a lion instead. And he's going to take that (and the movement of that ear, popping up instead of being settled back in the universal cat-code for don't fucking touch me) as a sign that they're on the right track. He shifts the hand that's on Keith's shoulder to the back of his neck, gripping there - not tight enough to hold him still, but enough to squeeze, affection threaded all through it. ]

I'm sorry I worried you, baby. Let me help.

[feralistic]

[ it's far from the first time shiro has touched him there. and it's always been innocent enough -- a gentle squeeze to remind keith to let out some of the tension coiled there, a warm and friendly weight to tell him when he's done good. but now? the touch sizzles straight up to his brain and then slides back down his spine like something molten, making his head go fuzzy and his thoughts run hot. it's almost like a spoken command to submit, and keith is left more than a little shell-shocked at how badly he wants to. ]

Fuck. [ which isn't the most polite response to let me help, but it's taking a considerable amount of mental energy just to keep his legs from buckling underneath him. he reaches out to grab two fistfuls of shiro's vest, not sure whether he needs to steady himself or pull the other man closer, and wow. ] Shiro --

[bde]

[ Now that's something that doesn't need interpretation. Shiro knows what it means when Keith grabs at him like that, when his voice sounds that way, and Shiro can't help the smug little smile that curves his mouth in response. ]

Oh, yeah?

[ For a moment all he does is squeeze, amp up that friendly pressure to something just a little more possessive. Then he leans down to kiss Keith, hard, the way it feels like he wants. ]

[feralistic]

[ before shiro, keith has a foggy idea that he might have considered the idea of someone being able to read him like an open book to be... smothering. dangerous. a loss of freedom in a space that no one else was ever meant to be able to go.

but now? with shiro? it feels like relief. like being known, understood, and accepted all in the same breath; there are times when keith doesn't even have to voice a need out loud before shiro is already moving to meet it.

this is apparently one of those times.

he whines a low noise as shiro ups the pressure, like that squeeze might as well be around his cock instead of the nape of his neck. it sends another wave of need cresting through him -- and then shiro's mouth is on his, and keith funnels every bit of his hunger into this new outlet. shiro's leaned down into him, but it doesn't stop keith from trying to lean up, trying to get himself impossibly closer. already, his mouth is open to the other man's, and when shiro responds to the invitation by slipping his tongue inside, keith sucks it like the greedy thing he is. ]

[bde]

[ Fuck.

Shiro'll never get enough of this, he knows it. The urgent way Keith responds to him, every time - and this time especially, apparently. Is it racist to think of this hunger as animal when Keith's looking more Galra than he ever has before? Well, that's a quandary for him to wrestle with later - for now he just laps it up. The way Keith pushes closer, the feeling of him sucking at Shiro's tongue. It's incredibly hot, and it sets a tone. What's a decent boyfriend supposed to do, if not match it?

Shiro uses the grip he has at Keith's neck and a firm hand on his hip to move him back, pressing him against the wall in something that would qualify as a slam, if he wasn't being so careful not to bump Keith's head - and then Shiro presses one thick thigh between Keith's legs, offering pressure right against his cock. He could move it, give that friction to Keith himself -

but right now, he'd much rather make Keith take what he wants for himself. ]

[feralistic]

[ he breaks the kiss with a sharp intake of breath as shiro presses him hard up against that wall, bright eyes flaring in the semi-gloom. if it were anyone else, it'd probably be impossible not to take the gesture as a threat, but with shiro? it sends fire racing down his spine and searing through his blood; he groans a low noise of approval as shiro works a thick thigh between his own, already rutting his hips impatiently up against it.

it's good, but not nearly enough. especially not when -- ]

Too many clothes. [ almost growled against shiro's mouth, punctuated with an impatient yank against the other man's vest. ]

[bde]

That's rich, coming from you.

[ Because Keith is still all wrapped up in that Blade uniform, tight enough to show everything off but still hardy enough to keep it all out of reach. Come to think of it, Shiro doesn't even know how to get it off; Keith's always taken care of that himself, either shedding it before he comes home or being in such a hurry that he's got it most of the way off before Shiro can get a hand on him.

Now, his own clothes, he can do. It's fast enough to strip away his few scant layers until his chest is bare; he saw to his boots when Keith insisted he get on, if not into, the bed. So he lets his hands drift to the fastenings of his pants, pops the top button and lingers while he rocks his thigh against Keith's dick. ]

This what you need, baby? You want me naked?

[feralistic]

[ it should be more than enough when shiro strips off enough layers to bare his chest -- and maybe it would be, but then his hands go to the fastenings of his pants, and all keith's greedy mind can think of is more.

and the way shiro grinds his thigh up against keith's straining dick? not helping.

at first, the only thing he can manage is a low whine of frustration. he wants to shove his hands down there and undo shiro's pants himself, but shiro's hands are in the way, and if shiro really doesn't want to let him? ]

Yes. [ he growls a low sound as he rolls his hips against shiro's thigh, the muscles in his thighs quivering at how good even that much feels. ] Let me see it. All of you.

[bde]

[ How could he possibly refuse, with Keith growling like that? The only downside is that he has to take his thigh out from between Keith's legs in order to peel his pants off. So when he does it, he makes a show of it; strips them off, throws them into the corner, and then takes a leisurely walk back to the bed, where he settles on it, takes his dick in hand, and gives it a slow, luxurious stroke. ]

This what you wanted? A nice view?

[ He knows it's not. Still, there's appeal in the idea of making Keith ask for it. He's never been shy that way, but it gets Shiro every time. ]

[feralistic]

[ there might be a logical part of keith's brain that recognizes that shiro can't get his pants off and keep his thigh between keith's legs, but that doesn't stop keith from whining when shiro pulls away. already, he's trying to reach for him again -- and the show he gets when shiro turns and walks back across the room barely counts as a consolation prize.

fuck. is just looking at someone's dick supposed to make you this horny? it's so big that even one of shiro's big hands wrapped around it doesn't come close to covering the whole thing -- keith can't even trust himself to walk across the room with his knees threatening to buckle underneath him, stuck plastered to the wall and making low keening sounds of frustration. ]

No. [ not that he doesn't appreciate it. his eyes are practically glued to shiro's cock, a pink sliver of tongue sneaking out to wet his lips. ]

[bde]

[ Keith isn't the kid he was when Shiro first met him anymore. He hasn't been for a long time - but there's still a part of Shiro that wants to take care of him, to look after him, to make sure he has what he needs. And maybe it's messed up that the instinct hasn't changed, that it's just shifted from making sure he has enough to eat and has a working datapad to... this -

but he still smirks. ]

Then come and get it, baby. Don't let all this go to waste.

[feralistic]

[ it's all the invitation keith needs.

he pushes off the wall behind him, nearly stumbling in his haste to cross the small room and get to shiro. maybe this is the perfect time to worry about getting his own uniform off -- but that's the last thing on his mind, and he's still fully dressed when he tackles shiro back onto the bed.

he's growling when he presses their mouths together for another bruising kiss, and --

oh.

he grinds his hips down against the straining line of shiro's cock, nothing but the slick material of the blades uniform separating them, and it's so good it sends little sparks leaping up his spine and into his brain. ] Shiro.

[bde]

Mmm.

Oh, that's good. The feeling of all that restless, angry energy that was throbbing through Keith before converted into this - into lust, into want for Shiro - it's bliss. He presses back up into that kiss, rolls against the press of Keith's hips and slides his hands down the Blade's body -

until his hungry fingertips find the catch he was looking for, and he tugs the seal of Keith's suit loose. Delicious. ]

Off. How am I going to fuck you the way you want if you're all covered up?

[feralistic]

[ the way shiro demands it makes heat sizzle up the line of keith's spine, and maybe that's why he can't resist -- ]

If you want it off -- [ he nips at the older man's lower lip, careful to keep the fangs from pinching. ] Do something about it.

[ and if it means he has to go to kolivan and explain how he's managed to destroy another suit, fuck it. ]

[bde]

[Now there's an invitation. One Shiro's only too happy to accept - he flips them, and Keith better be serious about being okay with going to Kolivan because Shiro all but tears the suit off him, stripping it away with no regard for preserving it, fast enough that Keith's hips bounce off the bed after it's pulled off. And then -

Damn, it just never gets any less amazing to have Keith like this. Bare and needy and wanting Shiro just as much as Shiro wants him. Immediately he drops his face to Keith's stomach, licks a hot line up over his belly and presses a kiss there. ]

Mmm. Keith.

[feralistic]

[ after a certain point, kolivan had learned to stop asking questions when keith showed up with a stone face and a uniform ripped to tatters far worse than any battle could explain.

and even if he hadn't, it's worth it. the way shiro flips him roughly so that his back is to the mattress, the way he tears the uniform off keith like some hunger-mad predator. it makes the heat rush through keith like a cresting wave, and the way shiro says his name is just that little bit extra to make the need in him nearly unbearable. ]

Shiro. [ and because he is a brat, that's followed by an effort to push shiro's head down between his legs, to where his cock is hard and straining and greedy. sometimes shiro gives it to him, and sometimes there's a punishment for trying to take it -- the fun is in finding out which mood shiro's in. ]

[bde]

[ Keith is absolutely being a brat. Shiro might reason that he's earned it - Keith saved Shiro's life yet again, after all - but it wouldn't do to let him get too cocky. So instead of following that push down Shiro moves up and bites none-too-gently at Keith's bottom lip. ]

Brat.

[ Another time, it might have been firmer. They've played that game before, and enjoyed it, but there's too much of a need to make things okay in Shiro now to push it. He kisses Keith once - firm and deep, rolling his hips so his own hard cock grinds against Keith's - before he makes his way back down.

And oh, isn't that pretty? He's a big fan of Keith's cock anyway, thinking it's lovely at the best of times, but now? In that pretty shade of violet, with even Keith's pubic hair softer and more like fur? It's too much to ask him not to nuzzle in close against it before he licks a hot line along the underside of Keith's dick, and that's where the real surprise is. Ridges, slightly darker in colour than the rest of it, not hard so much as firm and giving Shiro all kinds of ideas about how they might feel inside him. He licks over them again, slow and admiring before he finally, finally gives Keith what he was demanding and closes his lips around the head. ]

[feralistic]

[ there's a little whine as shiro moves up instead of down, but the bite at his lower lip counts as a welcome surprise. even better is the way shiro rocks their hips together, the slide of his cock against keith's a maddening tease of friction --

and then he's moving away again before keith can even try rutting his hips back up against him, and the action gets met with a little puff of frustration. of course, that's quickly forgotten as shiro settles down in between keith's legs, nuzzling up against keith's cock in a way that gets a low whine out of him before he licks a hot line up along its underside. ]

Fuck. [ which is a pretty rude way to say thank you when shiro finally takes keith into his mouth, but it's what ends up tumbling out. keith can't resist the urge to reach down and tangle a hand in shiro's hair -- though he keeps enough control over himself to keep his hips from bucking up into that wet heat, the muscles in his stomach trembling finely with the effort it takes. ]

[bde]

Mm?

[ It's low, gently teasing - not that Shiro bothers to take his mouth off Keith's cock to make the sound, swirling his tongue around the crown of his dick before he slips down further with a hum. After everything, it's comforting to be like this. He may have been captured, Keith may be looking... unlike himself, but the taste of him and the weight of him in Shiro's mouth is the same, and the way the sounds he makes pour down Shiro's spine like hot liquid to pool in his belly in a churn of want? Beautifully familiar.

It's exhilarating feeling Keith pull at his hair, the tension in his tautly-muscled stomach as he holds himself back. There's nothing Shiro likes better than when he finally manages to make Keith lose control completely - but maybe now, with this new, seemingly stronger form, it'd be better to get an idea of what he's capable of first.

Maybe. The thought of caution isn't enough to stop Shiro from slipping a hand up to cup at Keith's balls as he presses down, down, taking Keith all the way into his throat. ]

[feralistic]

[ all keith can manage is a little choked off noise as shiro works his tongue around keith's dick as if it's a treat he's savoring -- and when the older man slides down to take more of it into his mouth? keith can't help but tighten the hand he has in shiro's hair, making a low noise that's caught halfway between encouragement and a plea.

... not like shiro needs either, apparently.

because in the next moment he's dropping his head low enough to take keith into the tight clutch of his throat, and the sound it gets out of keith isn't even entirely human. it's a moan, sure, but accompanied by a low trilling sound keith is barely even aware he's making. and there's nowhere to go when he presses his hips up, not really, but he can't resist the impulse. shiro's so fucking good that sometimes keith can't believe his mouth wasn't made for this, and he'd probably try expressing that thought if his brain wasn't melting out of his ears. ]

Shiro, fuck. You look so good -- [ panted out, stroking his fingers through shiro's forelock. ] Want your fingers inside me. C'mon.

[bde]

[ Wow. That's not a noise Shiro's heard before, but it goes straight to his dick. It's like it curls into the part of his brain that always wants to give Keith what he wants anyway and makes that desire a need, like he'll die if he doesn't do it. The impulse is strong enough that he's seriously regretting not having the foresight to get lube ready, because the last thing he wants to do is move away from Keith to get it. One more slide along his dick, an apology before Shiro slips a finger back for a little press of promise, and -

Oh. Oh.

He's wet. Slippery-slick, like he's prepared himself in advance, except that Shiro knows he hasn't, because Keith hasn't left his side since they got offworld. So it's just - just Keith? The mechanics of it are a question for later, because there's the lingering effecct of that little trill, so needy that Shiro can't imagine making Keith wait a second longer than necessary, and the idea that Keith wants him so bad his body has made itself ready -

he pushes a finger in, moaning around the thick length of Keith's cock as he does. Whatever this is, he likes it. ]

[feralistic]

[ shiro slides back down around keith's dick, and the sensation hits him like an electric sizzle of static. he can't help himself from tightening his fist briefly in shiro's hair, the muscles in his thighs and stomach flexing as he gives into that urge to press up just a little --

and then shiro presses a finger into him, and keith's answering groan is low and needy.

it doesn't even occur to him to ask about the mechanics of the situation; somehow it makes perfect sense that he needs shiro so badly that his body just figured out a way to make it happen. (or maybe he's just too turned on to care.) it's enough for him to be able to grind his hips down against shiro's finger, shuddering as the feeling of shiro moaning around his dick shoots straight up his spine. ]

More.

[bde]

[ Oh, fuck. He loves it when Keith's like this - needy, demanding. The pull to Shiro's hair and that tiny press up hit him like a reward for a job well done, like a drug, and he can feel his cock pulse with the want in him, the slick of precome it provokes. So when Keith demands more? He can't even think of disobeying. He presses in a second finger, and when that goes just as easily as the first he adds another without hesitation, moaning again at the feel of it.

Another time he might feel a little guilty about pulling his mouth off Keith's dick to tell him how good he feels, but the need is pulsing through him now, thumping along with his heartbeat, and he gasps as the head of Keith's dick leaves his greedy mouth with a wet pop. ]

Baby. Keith, you feel so good. I want you so bad.

[feralistic]

[ even with three of shiro's fingers stuffed inside him and shiro's mouth around his cock, it still isn't enough. so it's almost like shiro is echoing his thoughts out loud to him when he pulls off keith's dick long enough to say that, and honestly?

keith's only real complaint is that he's wasting time talking. ]

So do something about it. [ rolling his hips down onto shiro's fingers, the low noise that comes out of him only half for show. ] Weren't you gonna fuck me like I need?