I'm strong enough

[vacabdication]

[ The Pagan Min of ayear ago would havee been disgusted by how much dithering he’s done over so small a thing.

And it is small. A simple strip of leather in dark, rich brown, just slightly too large to sit like a choker – it should rest lightly at the base of Ajay’s neck, just across the hollow of his throat. The most ostentatious thing about it is the fastening, really, and that’s merely two solid squares of old gold that lock together.

The important part – and the cause of all the dithering – is of course that once connected, they will only unlock via a key. A key, Pagan hopes, that Ajay will be happy to leave in Pagan’s possession.

A significant portion of Pagan’s worry could have been put to rest if he’d simply asked Ajay about it, of course, but there’s part of Pagan that thinks Ajay will like it better as a surprise. Something presented with every expectation that Ajay will wear it willingly and gratefully. It’s the same part that has noticed the way Ajay preens when praised to the point that he’ll bait Pagan into telling him to do something solely to be called a good boy when he does it, the way he lights up when Pagan calls him mine. And Pagan loves it too, of course – the idea that Ajay is his. His to protect, his to cherish, his to adore. Were it merely a gift that Pagan thought Ajay would like, it wouldn’t be nearly so nervewracking – Ajay could decline it or say “uh, thanks” and pop it in the bottom of a drawer as he’s done with ten-thousand-dollar watches and Pagan would take it in stride. But this – oh, there’s something in him that burns at the thought of Ajay wearing this gift, nestled close to his skin, warmed by his pulse, marking him as Pagan’s. Willingly, lovingly Pagan’s, not necessarily obvious, but on display for anyone to see.

Time to summon his courage, then. He threads the small key (also gold, obviously) onto a gold chain and fastens it around his own neck, and lays the... gift into a velvet-lined box, and saunters into the bedroom, where if he’s timed it right Ajay should just about be finished dressing after his post-hunt shower. And yes, there he is. Pagan’s beautiful boy, the joy of his life, flush-cheeked from hot water with his hair still damp. Breathtaking. ]

Ajay, my boy! Welcome back.

I’ve brought you something.

Comments

[vacabdication]

[ Perhaps Ajay presses them into a kiss too quickly for Pagan to verbally tell him he's a good boy, but it certainly comes through in the kiss. It's adoring, deep and wanting, and Pagan tugs at Ajay's hair like a reward as he bites softly at his lip. God, but he's lucky; the most beautiful man he's ever known, all his and willing to do whatever he wants. There's need in that kiss, and it takes all his strength to break it long enough to draw back and let his gaze rake hungrily over Ajay.]

There. Perfect. How lucky I am, to have such a good boy all to myself.

[vaaris]

[ oh, he feels it. and when pagan tugs at his hair, it's enough to get a low noise of want out of him, unable to resist the urge to rock his hips forward against the other man's. the material of pagan's slacks doesn't really make for the best friction -- but there's something satisfying about knowing how expensive they are, knowing pagan would let him ruin them in a heartbeat if he wanted.

and when he finally gets his praise, the throb of heat that goes through him is enough to make his breath hitch. ]

Good enough for a reward? [ maybe it'd be playing along better to be passive, to wait for pagan to command him, but. there's an idea he's been toying with for awhile, and the thought of doing it while wearing his new collar? besides, it's no secret that pagan likes hearing ajay ask for what he wants. ]

[vacabdication]

Oh, yes.

[ They've been working on it, slowly but surely. Ajay asking for what he wants. Pagan still hopes that someday he'll make it to telling - the younger man is skilled at making demands with his body, certainly, pressing close and letting his need be known, but words have always been a trickier prospect. This, laden with the suggestion that Ajay is going to ask for just what he needs, lights a fire in Pagan - sometimes the reminder that Ajay wants him, loves him is enough to make him feel not just whole, but like he was never broken. ]

Anything you want, my Ajay.

[vaaris]

I want --

[ there it is. that prickle of shyness, the same as always, that makes the words catch at the back of his throat. but he's too turned on to let that win; instead, he drops down slowly onto his knees, sliding his hands down the smooth fabric of pagan's slacks. he hasn't unfastened the other man's pants yet, and instead of doing that? he leans forward until he can mouth along the outline of pagan's dick, groaning as he can feel the heat of it even through the fabric.

and then, looking up at him with his best pretty please expression: ] I want you to fuck my mouth.

[vacabdication]

[ Oh

oh, fuck.

In honesty, it's not something he's thought about - it's not as if Ajay isn't more than capable of making that a thrilling experience without any input from Pagan whatsoever - but the second Ajay says it Pagan feels the thought of it sizzling up his spine in a rush of electricity. Just the thought that Ajay wants it has the thought searing through him, And Pagan strokes his hand through Ajay's hair, tugging lightly. ]

Well? Do you need to be told to unwrap your gift?

[vaaris]

[ just a quick little shake of his head, and then he's fumbling to get pagan's slacks open as quickly as he can. he doesn't even bother taking them all the way off -- too impatient to get to his prize, and there's something about leaving pagan like this while ajay is kneeling nude before him that stokes at the fire in him.

and once he gets pagan's cock free, he lets out a little groan of appreciation; there's something about seeing him this way and knowing pagan is hard because of him, because he wants him, that never gets old. so he braces himself with his hands on pagan's thighs and then leans forward enough to be able to drag his tongue up along the underside of pagan's dick, making sure to make eye contact as he does it. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Oh, fuck. Ajay is beautiful, beautiful, and when he's like this? It's so much more than Pagan deserves. And usually he likes to let Ajay take the lead, likes to let him show off a little in a way he so rarely does, but with this between them he knows what Ajay needs, and he's only a little surprised to find that he needs it too. He reaches down, puts his thumb on Ajay's chin, guides his mouth open. ]

Be a good boy for me. Open up.

[vaaris]

[ the command coupled with that good boy throbs straight to his dick, and he's helpless to stop the way he moans. but he likes getting reactions out of pagan just as much as pagan likes getting the reactions out of him, so why not play it up a little?

so he looks up at the older man through his lashes as he opens his mouth slowly, letting the plush pink of his tongue be an invitation. ]

[vacabdication]

[ And what an invitation it is! Pagan looks down at Ajay, buff and handsome yet sweet and submissive, his eyes - so dark Pagan can imagine drowning in them like the fathomless sea - framed in dark lashes and full of want, and he's lost to it. He takes one of Ajay's hands in his own, rubs it softly before he places it back on his thigh, almost an apology for what he knows Ajay will consider breaking the mood - ]

Tap twice if you want me to stop.

[ and then he threads his fingers into Ajay's hair and slips his cock into Ajay's mouth, slipping it over the wet warmth of his tongue and sighing at the pleasure of it. ]

[vaaris]

[ for the record, it doesn't break the mood. it's sweet and considerate from a man the rest of the world would expect neither of, and that's a reminder that this is just for ajay.

(but there's no way in hell he's going to want him to stop.)

he makes a low, pleased sound as pagan slides his dick forward into his mouth, eyes fluttering half-shut as he focuses on the heat and weight of it on his tongue. it's good -- pagan's hand in his hair, ajay on his knees like this before him, the feeling of pagan's dick pressing into his mouth. and the collar just makes it that much better; he reaches up to touch it almost mindlessly, humming a low noise at the reminder that no one but pagan can take it off him. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Oh. Ajay all but purrs as Pagan slides his cock into his mouth, hums and gently fingers the collar, and for a moment Pagan is lost to it. How beautiful, how enchanting, how thoroughly undeserved. He strokes his fingers through Ajay's hair, gentle and caressing - ]

My beautiful boy. My everything.

[ And then he tightens his grip in Ajay's hair, thrusts into his mouth. Not all the way just yet, not into his throat, but enough to get the message across. You asked for this, and because you're mine, I'll give it. ]

[vaaris]

[ really, ajay's only regret is that he didn't ask for this sooner.

it's even better than he'd hoped it would be -- pagan's hand tight in his hair, those adoring words a sharp contrast to the filthy way he fucks his hips forward into ajay's mouth. and the way ajay moans in response isn't even for show; it's hot being used like this, letting pagan take his pleasure selfishly from him.

he wants to please, he wants it to be good. and so he closes his mouth around him and sucks as pagan thrusts in, letting his tongue stroke the head of the older man's dick as if it's candy. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Perfect. Perfect. Ajay moans, sucks at him in a way that feels like heaven on earth, and Pagan can't help the moan that winds out of him. ]

Good. Good. You're so good at this, Ajay. Such a talented mouth. Warm and wet and just for me, isn't that so?

[ And he thrusts again, firmer this time, repeating it and building a rhythm. It's what Ajay asked for, yes, and it would be so easy to tell himself it's for Ajay, but the feel of it makes his head spin. It's bliss. ]

[vaaris]

[ the praise is like a physical touch that sizzles down the length of his spine -- and even though the only thing he wants to focus on is pagan's pleasure, he can't resist the urge to reach down and wrap a hand around his own straining dick. he's scarcely even touched himself, and already he's so hard he's leaking, fuck.

there's a part of him that wants to tell pagan yes, but that would mean stopping him, and he can't even stand the thought. so instead, he just lets out another little hum that he hopes gets the meaning across well enough, letting himself go pliant so that pagan can set the pace. breathing when he pulls back, sucking greedily as he thrusts back in, looking up at him because he wants to drink in the sight of pleasure written all over pagan's face. ]

[vacabdication]

[ It's fine - Pagan sees the yes in Ajay's eyes, feels it in the way he sucks, and when Pagan sees the way Ajay closes a hand around himself? He can't help but moan at it, loving the idea that Ajay is getting just as much out of this as Pagan is. He tugs at Ajay's hair and thrusts in, pressing close. ]

Good. Touch yourself. But don't you come. Not until I say so.

[ And slowly, slowly, he pushes forward, until he feels the head of his cock breach the tight clinch of Ajay's throat. ]

[vaaris]

[ he moans a low sound at the feeling of pagan pressing forward further, relaxing his throat and swallowing to make it easier for the older man to slide into his throat. it's not like he hasn't done it before -- but it's different having pagan control it, being at the mercy of whatever the other man wants to do to him.

and he shifts his hand off his collar to press down against his throat -- he can feel the slight bulge of pagan's dick there, and it sends another sizzle of heat through him.

see? look how good he can be. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Oh, it's different like this. It's not the first time he's felt the tight heat of Ajay's throat around the head of his dick, but taking the feeling for himself instead of having it given - it would feel dangerous, if it weren't for the sound Ajay makes and the way he touches his own throat, showing that he likes it. ]

My beautiful boy. Just look at you. So gorgeous, so needy. But I did say you'd earned your reward, didn't I?

[ And finally, caution and care established, he starts to do ask Ajay asked. Thrusting, fucking his mouth, his worry falling away at how intensely good it feels - and if Ajay can trust him to do this, he can trust Ajay to tell him if it's too much, if he needs to stop. He tightens his grip in Ajay's hair, uses it to hold his head still as he works his hips forward, into the delicious warmth of his mouth. ]

[vaaris]

[ fuck.

it's so much hotter than he even imagined; ajay has to reach out to grip at the material of pagan's slacks again to steady himself as the older man starts rutting into his mouth in earnest. it makes an absolutely filthy sound each time he buries himself into the heat of ajay's throat, and he's helpless to stop the drool at the corner of his mouth, the tears stinging in his eyes.

all he can really focus on is finding the right rhythm of breathing; the rest of his control is abandoned to pagan, ajay letting himself sink into a pliant sort of submission that allows the older man to set his pace. and it's so fucking good -- there's no weight on him, no decisions, no responsibility, just surrendering himself to pagan and letting himself be owned. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Oh, how had Pagan never thought of this himself? It's wonderful - as much as he loves the feeling of it when Ajay works him over of his own accord, how pampered he feels, this is glorious. Not simply the feel of it, which is enough to have the heat coiling within him in a way that is going to require A Decision very soon, but the sight of Ajay - his beautiful face, the wetness spilling over his lips, the tears in his eyes, and the way all of that somehow adds up not to pain but to what looks like a kind of bliss. And the knowledge, too, that Ajay understands. That Pagan may want to keep him, to possess him, but that he would never, ever hurt him. There's a trust in this that makes it all the sweeter, and he drops the hand not fisted in Ajay's hair until he can stroke the pad of his thumb over Ajay's throat. ]

That's it. So - haa - so good for me.

[vaaris]

[ it is bliss.

surrendering all of the control, knowing that he can. letting pagan use him for what he needs, riding the high of no responsibilities, no weight, no expectations. here, in this moment, he exists for pagan alone, and it's good. he gets off on knowing how much pagan likes it -- he has to make a conscious effort to stroke himself steady and slow, not letting that tight heat at the pit of his belly build to anything.

because he wants to obey. because he wants to be good.

ajay lets out a low moan as pagan strokes a finger along the line of his throat, eyes sliding half shut as he just lets the feeling wash over him. fuck, why didn't they try this one earlier? ]

[vacabdication]

[ It's the moan that does Pagan in. It feels wonderful, of course - after fairly extensive research, Pagan is fairly certain Ajay couldn't give a bad blowjob if he tried - but knowing that Ajay is loving it just as much as Pagan is? Oh, it's heaven, and the pleasure that's been building inside him reaches a peak. He'd thought, briefly, about coming on Ajay's face, but in the end it's the way he'd asked that seals it. Fuck my mouth, Ajay had said, and when Pagan fucks him he certainly doesn't pull out. And there's enough of a glazed sort of look of pleasure in Ajay's face to give Pagan confidence, so when he comes he pushes in deep, fist bunched tight in Ajay's hair, nearly howling with it as he comes. It's blinding, dizzying - the only thing that keeps him upright as his orgasm thumps through him is the thought of Ajay and what he needs. ]

[vaaris]

[ ajay knows pagan well enough to know what it feels like when the older man is closing in on his peak -- it's the way the rhythm of his hips becomes more frenzied than steady, the way his breathing is just sort of frantic, the way he clutches at ajay as if he's a lifeline. and far from protesting, ajay loves it; he reaches up to clutch a fistful of pagan's pant leg just to steady himself, but otherwise stays relaxed and pliant. lets pagan bury himself so deep in his throat that it makes tears burn at the corner of his eyes, moans his approval as the throb of pagan's cock marks his climax.

and when pagan finally pulls back to let him breathe, ajay's head is spinning from the high -- he just reaches out to clutch at pagan to keep him from going far, pressing his forehead into the older man's hip as he pants to find his breath again. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Oh, it's amazing, and in the wake of it there's nothing Pagan wants than to tuck in close against Ajay as the remainder of the pleasure washes over him, or to bring Ajay to the same peak Ajay has brought him to - but there's a particular mood here that Ajay's set, and Pagan owes it to him to finish it out, no? So he gives a little tug with the hand still caught in Ajay's hair and strokes at his cheek with the other, slow and adoring as he pitches his voice to a purr. ]

Just one last thing you must do for me, my sweet boy. Come for me.

[ After, he'll scoop Ajay into his arms and cover him in kisses, but he can wait. ]

[vaaris]

[ oh, but he wants to.

just the demand makes his dick throb between his legs, and he'd had to still his hand just to keep from finishing too soon. and perhaps, if this was a typical scene, it'd spoil things to make demands -- but they've never been anything close to typical, and ajay knows pagan likes it when he asks for what he wants. what he needs. ]

Not until you're inside me. [ not a demand. not a plea. just a desire expressed to someone he knows would move heaven and earth if only he asked. ]

[vacabdication]

[ That makes Pagan laugh, warm and surprised. And it might be a big ask, given how recently Pagan's come, but something about the way Ajay says it - easy, making it clear he knows just how much Pagan wants to give him what he wants - warms him through and thinks perhaps they won't have that long to wait, after all. ]

Of course. Of course. Come here, my love.

[ Ajay is young and strong and certainly doesn't need Pagan's help to get up, but Pagan offers it anyway, wanting the closeness, keeping him close as he guides him toward the bed and finally pulls his own trousers off before he sets about kissing his way down Ajay's body, tender and slow. ]

[vaaris]

[ it's actually a blessing that pagan holds him close as he guides him to the bed -- ajay hasn't even come, and what they just did was enough to have his knees quaking underneath him. he can't remember ever being this fucking turned on; his cock is hard enough to ache, and even just the way pagan kisses a path down his body is enough to get an overstimulated little whine out of him.

fuck. it's shameless, the way he spreads his legs and rocks his hips up, helpless to stop his body from begging from what he wants. what he needs. ]

Pagan. [ it's a pant; he reaches down to stroke his fingers through the older man's hair to make sure he has his attention. ] Tell me --

[ he can't get it out. it's embarrassing how much he needs to hear it, but... he lifts a hand to the collar at his throat, hoping that's enough to get the request across. ] Please.

[vacabdication]

[ Oh, he's beautiful. Trembling, wanton, so needy Pagan could swear his skin is hot to the touch. How could he ever resist giving Ajay what he wants? What he needs? ]

Ajay. My beautiful boy.

[ He reaches for the lube - handily still close by, because he was too bloody lazy to put it away - slicks his fingers and rubs a tight little circle over the ridged skin of Ajay's entrance, delaying pressing inward until he next speaks. ]

You belong to me.

[vaaris]

[ fuck.

okay, when he'd said not until you're inside me, ajay had every intention of making sure it was pagan's dick and not his finger, but. his cock isn't exactly taking directions from his brain, and just the sound of pagan purring you belong to me along with the way it feels when he slides a finger inside?

it's enough to slam him roughly over the edge of an orgasm before he can even help it. his hips jerk up mindlessly as he hits that peak, every muscle drawn shivering tight for a few agonizing moments before he finally collapses back against the bed.

... and then, well. he's forced to deal with the reality that pagan got him off with three words and one finger, which is. fuck. it's probably way too late in their relationship to decide to be embarrassed about much of anything, but god. he throws an arm over his eyes and briefly considers whether he'd actually die if he vaulted out one of the windows -- it can't be worse than escaping durgesh by falling off the face of a cliff, right? ]

[vacabdication]

Well, well, well.

[ Words that could well be mocking if they weren't so warm, the smile on his face so infinitely fond. Still, he isn't so gracious that he can resist another little stroke of that finger before Ajay has even stopped clenching around it.

It's worth a shot, after all, because that little display has Pagan quite keen to see just how far he can push his luck. Nothing in the world is as beautiful as Ajay Ghale right now, and he's all Pagan's. ]

Good. Good boy.

[vaaris]

[ the sound of it gets a low whine out of him, his hips rocking down against the finger pagan has curled inside him. it's more than a little embarrassing to be this blatant about how much he likes it, but... he was also on his knees and begging pagan to fuck his throat within minutes of pagan putting a collar on him, so who's he really kidding? ]

You're having -- aaah -- too much fun with this.

[ and ajay's trying to sound like he's complaining about it. really, he is. ]

[vacabdication]

Too much? Oh, no. No, my dear boy, if you're still capable of that kind of sass -

[ and he strokes again, right where he knows it counts, dipping his head to bury a kiss in the furrow near Ajay's hip - ]

we've not had nearly enough. I'm going to take such good care of you.

[ Starting with another finger. He'd worried Ajay's little not until you're inside me had been overestimating him, or at least his recovery time. now it's clear he underestimated himself; or more accurately Ajay, and his ability to make Pagan react as if he were a teen again. So gorgeous, so inviting. It seems overkill when Ajay is already wearing his collar, but Pagan can't resist sucking a little mark to the surface of his skin. ]

[vaaris]

[ pagan strokes over that spot inside him, and the sharp surge of pleasure is enough to make ajay jolt underneath him. it's a tease, especially when one finger isn't nearly enough --

but then, almost like pagan can read his mind, he slides another one inside him. he bites his lip in a hopeless effort to stifle way he moans, hips grinding down against pagan's hand. and maybe it shouldn't be so hot when he's already wearing pagan's collar, but the sight of pagan sucking a mark to the surface of his skin is still enough to get a little hiss of pleasure out of him. ]

Pagan.

[vacabdication]

Yes, my dear?

[ Oh, it's been a long, long time since Pagan Min has tried to look innocent. Not since he was a boy in short pants, chubby-cheeked and trying to charm sweets from the adults around him. He gives it a bloody good shot now, though, blinking up sweetly at Ajay as he twists his fingers and recklessly adds a third -

and fortunately for everyone involved that little charade is cut short as Pagan shifts his gaze back down and sweeps one swift, firm lick over where Ajay is stretched tight around his fingers. ]

[vaaris]

[ the feeling of pagan licking a hot stripe over where he's got ajay stretched so taut is enough to send a little electric jolt through him. he hisses, caught between trying to arch but also trying to rock his hips down onto pagan's fingers. it's good, but it's not enough, doesn't give him nearly what the tight knot at the pit of his belly is demanding, and -- ]

I need you. [ reaching down to tangle his fingers in pagan's short hair, giving him a little tug to punctuate. ] I need you. Inside me, now.

[ grinding his hips down against the older man's fingers, mostly just for the show. ] Show me why I'm yours.

[vacabdication]

[ Oh, it's a loss to slip his fingers free of Ajay's body, so warm and tight and tempting. Sadly for Pagan, he's simply not tall enough to leave them where they are as he moves back up Ajay's body to kiss him, lingering but greedy. That's a treat all of its own, however; little did Pagan know back when Ajay kissed him for the first time that every subsequent kiss would be just and shockingly wonderful, even when they're expected.

Still. His love has made a demand, and who is Pagan to deny him. He did promise to take good care of Ajay, after all, so he moves his mouth close to Ajay's ear as he slicks himself with the lube, lets his lips brush there as he murmurs. ]

All mine. My beautiful, terrible boy.

[ And then he guides himself in. Intoxicating, as always - the heat of Ajay's body is dizzying, the feel of him snug around Pagan's cock like a dream, and he drops his mouth to the side of Ajay's neck to kiss him there as he presses home, warm skin stifling his groan of pleasure. ]

[vaaris]

[ fuck.

ajay's not even entirely sure if he breathed the word out loud -- there's nothing he can focus on that isn't those words in his ear and the hot slide of pagan into him. how many times has he played this fantasy out in his own head? pagan owning him, possessing him, knowing that ajay wants it, knowing just how much it gets him off. and here? with it real?

it's so much better than he ever could have believed. ]

Only yours. Just yours. [ turning to nudge up against pagan's temple, his entire body singing with the electric hum of overstimulation. ] That's what I want. Forever.