fourstrings | Good god, let me give you my life

Good god, let me give you my life

[ Some people in this situation might worry that it was too much.

Zack is worried that it’s not enough.

Okay, yes, he got Cloud off duty for the day, and had him stay over so he could wake him up with a birthday blowjob. But the gifts he got are almost all practical things; some boots and jeans to replace the very well-worn ones that Cloud wears when he’s in civvies ‘cause he seems to think of any money that he spends on himself as money he’s taking from his mother, and some actual uniform boots too because even though Shinra supplies them, Cloud’s still in the infantry, where they don’t seem to have heard of sizes and a march is much easier when your boots fit. There’s a little detour on the way out, too; Zack knows where Sephiroth is working for the day, and he may not be the guy’s biggest fan but he at least knows he’s not rude enough to decline to wish Cloud a happy birthday when Zack announces the occasion to him. It’s totally worth it for the look on Cloud’s face.

Dinner is a picnic – not one he made, for both their sakes, but bought and taken to Aerith’s church where they can cozy up together without worry of being seen. She’s gonna clear out for the evening, but she does make an appearance to bring a cake her mother made and ask Cloud how he likes the flowers Zack presented him with, and when she kisses him on the cheek he flushes so pink so fast that Zack could almost be jealous.

And when they head back, there’s the poster. Zack had claimed to forget his wallet so in could duck back into the apartment and put it up so it’d be a surprise when they got back. It’s Cloud’s old one, the one he’d tried to hide when Zack first talked him into moving in, and Sephiroth had definitely been stifling a laugh when he signed - no, no need to make it out to me, just sign your name, man!. Embarrassing as that was, he’s still excited enough that he basically hustles Cloud over so it’s in view. ]

Ta-da!

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[ Listen, kissing is great -

but shirtless kissing is even better, so Zack pulls back a little and takes a moment to strip his shirt off before he tucks in again, pulling Cloud's body flush to his just for the delicious warmth of skin on skin. And he's not sure if that upward tug was just out of the desire for a kiss or an attempt to slow things down a little - it wouldn't be the first time Cloud's seemed a little embarrassed by receiving the full force of Zack's undivided attention - so once they're close again he just stays there, pressing kisses against Cloud's mouth and holding him tight. It's not gonna stop him from making a joke, though. ]

What, you want me to be mean to you? I guess I could try and look up how.

[ zack is totally right. shirtless kissing is better.

but the comeback makes him snort, even if that's a Very Rude thing to do when someone else's face is this close to yours. it's just hard to imagine zack being mean, and even harder to imagine zack being mean on purpose. (he'd probably end up getting more upset about it than cloud would, and then they'd have to retreat to the couch for pizza and ice cream and comfort-cuddles.) ]

Don't think that's what I'm into. [ actually, he knows it is, because he's very into zack and that's practically the opposite. but he tips up into another kiss, warm and sweet, skimming his fingertips down the other boy's back just to enjoy the feel of bare skin. ] I like you just the way you are.

You're just -- [ he hesitates for a second, trying and failing to come up with a word that sums up how great zack is. ] ... you could have anyone. And you picked me.

Nah.

[ A little shake of his head, and Zack trails fingertips up Cloud's side and down again, soaking in the warmth of his skin, the shape of muscle and bone beneath it like he's trying to memorize it. ]

That makes it sound like I was looking for somebody and I chose you. I wasn't looking. Wasn't even thinking about it. And then there you were, and all of a sudden -

I was just in love with you.

[ oh.

oh.

zack says it so easily, like it's the most natural thing in the world, but the words knock into cloud with all the weight of a physical blow. it leaves him to dizzy to respond for a few long seconds -- maybe there's a part of him that expects zack to laugh and correct himself, to walk the words back into something lighter. but he doesn't, and cloud is left trying to wrap his mind (and his heart) around it, the idea that zack loves him.

does he really feel the way cloud has felt for months? like just being around zack is enough to fill him up with sunshine, like he's home in a strange city whenever zack slings an arm around him or smiles at him in the way that makes his whole face light up. it seems impossible that he could inspire those kinds of feelings in someone else; like he's discovering some hidden talent inside himself, put his hands on an instrument and found that he could play it masterfully.

and honestly, his own feelings on the matter are so obvious (to him), that he forgets how he's supposed to respond. instead, there's just a dazed: ] You're in love with me?

Yeah. The best parts of my day are the parts I spend with you. And you make the other parts better, too. I can be mad about something, or bummed out because I have to do a report, and then I see you and whatever made me feel like crap doesn't seem so important any more. Even just sitting on the couch doing nothing is good if I'm doing it with you, and you know how bad I am at doing nothing.

[ And it's only after he spills all of that out that he realizes that's not... the traditional response someone gives to a declaration of love. Not that Zack was thinking of it as a declaration when he said it, but still. The hand that's been stroking over Cloud's side moves to find his hand and lace their fingers together, warm and close. ]

That's okay, right?

[ it's like zack speaks directly to the thoughts whirling around in cloud's head, and he'd probably laugh at the accuracy if what zack was saying didn't leave him breathless. it's just... a lot! to wrap his head around!

but the question snaps his attention back to the moment between them, enough for him to realize that he left the obvious unsaid. ] Yeah.

Yeah, of course, I -- [ there's no reason to be shy about it! not when zack has already said it first, but! it feels... huge. monumental, a declaration, and the enormity of it all smacks into him all over again. ] I love you, too. So much, it -- [ a little puff of laughter, wonderfully overwhelmed. ] It's almost scary, sometimes.

I just never thought -- [ but he doesn't want to ruin the moment with self-deprecation, so. he shakes his head, switches his train of thought to something better. something that makes him smile so hard his cheeks hurt, leaning up a little to bump their foreheads together. ] Talk about a birthday present.

[ Part of Zack wants to argue with that - the idea that it's a present, rather than something that happened naturally because of the way Cloud is - but why fuss when they're here together, warm and close and half-naked, and Cloud just told him he loves him? Celebrating that is way more important, even if Zack's first attempt at kissing Cloud is made a little more difficult by the sheer broadness of the grin on his face.

It's good. It's so good, to have it out and said. Not like he was holding it in - it just felt like a given, really - but there's something magical about having told Cloud he loves him and hearing Cloud say it in return, and he tries to put his appreciation of that in his kiss and in the leg he presses between Cloud's tangling them close. ]

[ cloud's still gonna count it as a present! the perfect way to top off the best birthday ever, the frosting on the cupcake. zack loves him! it's a warm, wonderful thought -- an idea he knows he's going to drag out and admire countless times over the coming weeks, like a sweet you can hold in your mouth forever without it melting.

but right now? zack is here, and it's impossible not to give him his full attention when he knows how to kiss cloud like that. the other boy presses closer, works a leg between cloud's thighs, and cloud gasps a sound that breaks the kiss as the friction rubs right up against where he's already getting hard. (who knew you could get a boner from emotions?) ]

Zack -- [ whispered against his mouth before the next kiss, awed and reverent. this is for him. him, and only him, and he's the luckiest person in the world. ]

Cloud.

[ It's sighed, happy, blissful. Maybe it's cocky that he always thought they'd get here, maybe it's arrogant that he's never had a moment of this can't be real - but that doesn't mean he's not determined to soak up every single moment of it. And as for knowing you can get a boner from emotions, Zack knew, and he rolls his hips a little to rub against Cloud. ]

You're really hot, you know that?

[ he loves the way his name sounds when zack says it like that. it sends a little shiver of pleasure up his spine, heat blooming in its wake. but the way zack rolls his hips up against him is enough to make him moan, a low noise that he tries to stifle when he bites down on his lower lip. ]

You're really hot. The hottest. Ever.

[ not exactly eloquent, but it is sincere! blame it on the fact that he's now preoccupied with trying to get zack's pants undone. ]

Yeah?

[ Listen, Zack knows he's hot, but that doesn't mean he doesn't like to hear it. And he especially likes to hear it from Cloud, so there's a thread of pride in it when he asks. And he's trying to press his hips against Cloud again, but relents when he finally notices what Cloud is up to, rolling back a little and angling up to give better access. ]

Good thing we found each other, then. Who else could handle us?

[ Actually, he's hoping Cloud's about to handle him ASAP. ]

Don't want anyone else to even try.

[ ah. zack angles his hips up helpfully, and that gives cloud the access he needs to work his pants open. and once he does, he can dip his hand inside, making a pleased little sound as he wraps his fingers around the other boy's length. this immediate proof that zack is turned on (because of him!) has always been enough to send a flurry of heat through cloud, and this time is no different -- he gives him a few lazy strokes, tipping his chin up to press open-mouthed little kisses up the line of zack's throat. ]

I like being the only one who gets to.

[ Oh, fuck. Zack's head drops back as Cloud strokes over him, a little groan of pleasure winding out of his throat. It's slow, lazy, and he likes that too; likes the thought that they don't have to hurry, that they can take their time with each other. His hips rock up in the tiniest motion, meeting Cloud's hand, and he hums agreement. ]

Only you. You're it for me, Cloud. I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. Never felt this way about anybody.

[ it's good. watching the way zack reacts, the sounds he makes, knowing it's all because he makes zack feel good. and sure, taking your time is nice, but it's also impossible to resist getting all that he can from zack -- cloud can't help the urge to let go of the other boy's dick to tug his pants a little further down his hips, finally getting access to his cock without all that fabric in the way.

and then he goes right back to what he was doing, wrapping his fingers around zack with a pleased little hum and finding a slow rhythm of stroking again. there's already a little bit of precome beading at the tip; he smears his thumb through it as he rubs a little circle over the head. ]

Me too. Can't imagine wanting anyone else like this. You're so hot.

[ There's something about laying here with his pants tugged down like that, enough to restrict his movement a little, that he likes. Not in a "ooh I'm immobile, you can do whatever you want to me" kind of way - though that might be something to think about for later. It's just... trust, maybe. Realistically speaking he could probably throw Cloud halfway across the room if he needed to get away from him, but he's both turned on and warmed through by the fact that he knows he'd never need to; the thought that Cloud has him at a little bit of a disadvantage here, but all he's choosing to do with that is make him feel good. It's a sweet feeling, thick and golden as honey, and Zack runs his fingers through Cloud's hair, cups a hand at his cheek. ]

Feels so good. You're always so good. Shouldn't I be doing this for you, birthday boy?

[ is it weird to think that someone's dick is hot? because it's hard for cloud to deny that zack's is -- he likes the weight and the heat of it in his palm, likes the way he can feel zack's pulse throbbing through it when he wraps his fingers around it, likes the velvety texture of the skin. as far as dicks go? it's a really nice one. ]

I like this. [ leaning into that hand on his cheek, almost like a cat encouraging a petting. ] Making you feel good.

[ giving him a little squeeze for emphasis. ]

I - aah - [ at that squeeze, because Zack absolutely wasn't kidding when he said Cloud is good at this ] - can't complain about that. So long as you let me do something nice for you too, got it?

[ He's trying to sound stern. He doesn't, but to be fair to him that's a hard thing to pull off when the best-looking dude you've ever met has a hand on your dick and is using it to slowly turn you into a warm puddle of pleasure, and to make matters even better? He loves you back. ]

You're gonna. [ and he's trying to sound Confident about it, but it mostly just comes out sounding shy. but that doesn't stop him from forging boldly ahead with it, licking his lips before he continues. ] I want -- I want you inside me.

[ embarrassing. but just the thought of it is enough to make the heat pool at the pit of his belly, something molten and alive. it makes his next breath come out with a little shudder, his own dick giving a little twitch against the constraint of his jeans. ] You're gonna do that for me, right?

Oh. Oh, fuck. Yeah, Cloud. Yeah, I can - I wanna do that. I'm gonna do that.

[ And he's been trying to behave himself, but the hot shock of hearing Cloud say that makes his dick feel suddenly extra-sensitive - he's pretty sure Cloud will have felt it twitch in his fingers at the suggestion - so he reaches down to gently move Cloud's hand away and pull him up into a kiss, needy and hungry. ]

[ now there's a good reaction!

cloud actually makes a little noise of protest as zack tugs his hands away from his dick, but it's quickly swallowed up by the kiss that follows. hot and greedy, the kind that leaves him breathless and makes him feel like zack wants to devour him. it's good. and it draws a low moan out of him, one hand coming to clutch almost reflexively at zack's shoulder like there's some risk of being swept away otherwise.

and when the kiss finally breaks? he's dazed and dizzy, taking a few blinks before he can come back to himself properly.

of course, the only thing that comes out is: ] Now?

[ almost more of a demand than a question. ]

Yeah. Oh, wow.

[ And he laughs. It's half-giddy, a little bit nervous, but mostly? Mostly it's just joy. Yeah, it's amazing, and he's been thinking about this for a long time, but it's also just... so good that it can happen like this. Just... easy, trusting. And he kisses Cloud again, cupping his face in both hands, before he kicks his way out of his pants and starts working Cloud's jeans free, unable to keep himself from pressing little kisses wherever he can reach as he does. Then, when they're (finally!) both nude, he pauses just to look at Cloud, his smile soft and adoring. ]

Hey. I love you.

[ This time it is a declaration. ]

[ he's more than happy to let zack peel him out of his jeans this time; he's hard enough that the constraints of fabric were getting more than a little uncomfortable. besides! who can resist anything when it comes with an avalanche of little kisses? and cloud finds himself huffing a little laugh just because of the warm enthusiasm he can feel behind each one; he loves the way zack can say just how much he loves cloud without having to say anything at all.

then again? when he does say it? also pretty great. ]

I love you, too. [ relishing in all the perfect newness of being able to say it and have it said. he leans forward to steal another kiss off the older boy's mouth, soft and sweet and hoping to convey all that feeling back to him. ]

[ Man, they really are perfect together. Zack can't help grinning at it, proud. He can feel all the warmth and affection in that kiss, relishes it, and it's almost enough to make him want to linger over that for hours.

The though of what Cloud asked for is enough to want to keep him moving, however. He moves down, trailing those kisses further down Cloud's body, pausing to swirl his tongue around one of Cloud's nipples before he shifts to settle himself between Cloud's legs. ]

Can I - I wanna use my mouth. I want to eat you out. Can I?

[ and cloud is more than happy to settle himself back as zack works his way lower, trusting and secure. sure, the end goal is new territory -- but zack always seems to know exactly what to do, knows how to make everything feel good. so cloud is happy to let him take the lead here, sucking in a sharp breath as zack's mouth finds a nipple and teases it into hardness.

... but! that!! is something he's never really even considered!!

and he flusters for a second, the heat jumping up into his cheeks all over again as his mouth falls open into a startled little o. it's... not that it's a bad thought! no, the idea of zack's mouth on him there is enough to send little eddies of heat through his blood, but. ]

I -- That -- [ shyly, almost disbelieving. ] ... you really want to?

I really want to. I've thought about it. The kinds of noises you'd make. How long I could do it before you were begging me for more.

[ He pauses, trails his touch up the inside of Cloud's thigh, not touching him anywhere it really counts but high enough to show intent. ]

I think about you all the time. Every second we're not together, I'm thinking about you. Where I want to touch you, where I want you to touch me. How I can make you feel good.

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