Good god, let me give you my life

[exsurgo]

[ Some people in this situation might worry that it was too much.

Zack is worried that it’s not enough.

Okay, yes, he got Cloud off duty for the day, and had him stay over so he could wake him up with a birthday blowjob. But the gifts he got are almost all practical things; some boots and jeans to replace the very well-worn ones that Cloud wears when he’s in civvies ‘cause he seems to think of any money that he spends on himself as money he’s taking from his mother, and some actual uniform boots too because even though Shinra supplies them, Cloud’s still in the infantry, where they don’t seem to have heard of sizes and a march is much easier when your boots fit. There’s a little detour on the way out, too; Zack knows where Sephiroth is working for the day, and he may not be the guy’s biggest fan but he at least knows he’s not rude enough to decline to wish Cloud a happy birthday when Zack announces the occasion to him. It’s totally worth it for the look on Cloud’s face.

Dinner is a picnic – not one he made, for both their sakes, but bought and taken to Aerith’s church where they can cozy up together without worry of being seen. She’s gonna clear out for the evening, but she does make an appearance to bring a cake her mother made and ask Cloud how he likes the flowers Zack presented him with, and when she kisses him on the cheek he flushes so pink so fast that Zack could almost be jealous.

And when they head back, there’s the poster. Zack had claimed to forget his wallet so in could duck back into the apartment and put it up so it’d be a surprise when they got back. It’s Cloud’s old one, the one he’d tried to hide when Zack first talked him into moving in, and Sephiroth had definitely been stifling a laugh when he signed - no, no need to make it out to me, just sign your name, man!. Embarrassing as that was, he’s still excited enough that he basically hustles Cloud over so it’s in view. ]

Ta-da!

Comments

[meteorics]

[ this is (hands down) the best birthday cloud strife has ever had.

the only person who'd ever cared before was his mom, and even though he always appreciated the effort she put into making his favorite dinner and a homemade cake, the day still came with a pang of realization that no one else cared. and then once he got to midgar? it was that realization all over again, and worse because he didn't even have his mom to do her best to make it special. (hell, the automated happy birthday message from the company had even screwed up and sent the text a week late, and that had felt like the universe slapping him right in the face.)

but with zack? it really is the kind of day someone could look forward to all year.

it's not just the morning blowjob (which is great!), or the presents (that show how much attention zack pays to even the things cloud doesn't say outloud), or the cozy little picnic date (which felt so romantic that cloud's pulse is still fluttering), it's... all of it. the sum of every part, the whole concerted effort that tells him zack thinks cloud is the kind of person who deserves a day that special. (and maybe cloud can't understand why, maybe he doesn't agree, but he soaks it up all the same.)

and when zack hustles him over in front of the poster, cloud thinks for a second that its presence on the wall might be the present. don't get him wrong, it's great! zack found a frame for it, and dedicated a highly prime place on the wall for it, and cloud is touched by the gesture, but.

then he spots it.

a signature, graceful and effortless and absolutely unmistakable.

one of his hands is still occupied with holding the flowers zack got for him, but cloud immediately fumbles for one of zack's hands with the other. all so he can give him a squeeze, eyes transfixed on the signature and expression lit up with all the awe and joy of a kid on christmas morning. ]

Zack. [ it's all he can manage, breathless. ] Zack, you --

[exsurgo]

[ Oh.

Oh, yeah, that's definitely worth Sephiroth laughing at Zack. He can't help grinning - closes the small distance between them to press a kiss against Cloud's temple and shift so he's behind Cloud, arms looped around his waist, wrapping him up. ]

Don't worry. I didn't tell him who it was for.

[ Because he knows how important Cloud's image is to him! Not in the way that it is for a lot of people, where they want people to think they're all cool and awesome (which, for the record, Cloud is), but in that he just can't seem to bear the thought of people laughing at him. So yeah, that's an important part of the gift too; he can't have Cloud waking up in the night wondering if Sephiroth thinks he's a weenie. And if that means Sephiroth thinks Zack is a weenie instead, that's fine. Mostly because he doesn't care, but.. he's used to people thinking he's A Lot, so what does it matter? ]

Hey, thanks, Cloud. I just got really excited to spend your birthday with you, and I know I took up basically your whole day. It means a lot to me that you let me.

[meteorics]

[ okay, moving means that he has to take his eyes off the poster, but it's worth it. because he wriggles in zack's hold until he's able to turn around to face him, and then promptly goes up onto his tiptoes so that he can throw his arms around the other boy's shoulders and squeeze. (still taking care to keep his flowers safe and sound!) ]

There's no one else I wanted to spend it with. [ which... would probably mean more if he wasn't an unpopular loser, but whatever!!! even if he was friends with everyone in midgar, even if the whole city had been competing for a minute of his time today, he still would have spent every second with zack.

and look, cloud has spent his whole life trying to be Very Tough, and he's hardened himself up pretty well against any impulse to cry, but. his voice is still thick when he says: ] Thank you.

[exsurgo]

Yeah, yeah, okay. Are we gonna just say thank you back and forth or can I put those in some water?

[ It's a useless attempt at cover, because he can feel how soft his face is getting, feel a little lump in his throat. It's just! He cares a lot! He tried his best, and it's really great to see how much Cloud likes it!

The kiss might be better cover. Soft and lingering, with Zack's hand cupping Cloud's face all the while. Something to savor, like he can't bear any moments when he's not kissing Cloud. ]

[meteorics]

[ how are they supposed to get the flowers in water if zack is gonna go around kissing him like that!!!

because cloud almost immediately forgets about anything that isn't zack's mouth on his -- it's the kind of kiss that makes him feel like he's melting all the way down, like there's a glow filling him up from the inside out. it makes his toes curl inside his boots (the new ones, because duh, he put them on immediately), and wow. cloud doesn't know how he even began to deserve someone as amazing as zack feeling like this about him, but that kiss also leaves no room for doubt.

so when he finally breaks it, he stays close enough that their lips are brushing. ] It really was the best day ever.

[exsurgo]

Until next year.

[ Because, uh, obviously he's going to top it next year. He'll have had a whole extra year to learn Cloud and what he likes! But yeah, the flowers! He steals one more kiss - a little peck, this time - before he gently takes the flowers from Cloud's hand. And then -

yeah, he planned the flower thing, but he did not think ahead to getting a vase. He puts the flowers (gently) on the counter, eventually comes up with an empty juice jug, and you know what? That'll do, because the sooner the flowers are secure the sooner he can go back to the important business of kissing Cloud. ]

[meteorics]

[ cloud does watch vigilantly until he's sure his flowers have been secured -- and hey, they actually look kinda cute in the juice jug!

but he also takes the moment to hop up onto the counter, so that when zack comes back? he's at perfect kissing height! and this time he can wrap his arms around zack's shoulders and pull him in for another kiss without having to stand on tiptoe, tugging until zack is standing between his thighs.

smiling against his mouth! ] You're setting the bar pretty high for Future Zack.

[exsurgo]

[ Oh, that is perfect kiss height. And perfect kiss face, so much so that when Zack responds his lips stay against Cloud's so he doesn't even have to move to get right back to kissing.]

That's his problem. He's just gonna have to put in the hard work and make it happen. Me, I'm gonna revel in a job well done.

[ Which, apparently, involves dropping his hands to as much of Cloud's butt as he can get them on while he's on the counter like that. He's earned it! ]

[meteorics]

A job really well done.

[ and it's almost a crime to hit the pause button on kissing like this, but! cloud shifts so he can take zack's face in his hands, making sure their gazes are locked before he continues. ] Seriously, Zack, today was amazing.

You're amazing.

[exsurgo]

[ Oh, he likes that. Cloud's hands cradling his face. It brings his eyes to Cloud's immediately, and he smiles when he finds Cloud looking back, so sincere. ]

You're amazing, too. That's why I'm so happy you liked it. I wanted to show you how much you mean to me.

[ And he can't help pushing out of that hold just to get close enough to kiss again, but this time it's softer, gentle and lingering. ]

Everything. It's everything.

[meteorics]

[ he can't help but laugh when zack pushes his way past that hold -- it reminds him way too much of a puppy insisting on getting closer to lick your face. but it's short-lived laughter! because the kiss that follows steals his breath all over again; it always overwhelms him, the way zack is able to pour so much feeling into it, the way cloud can feel how much he means exactly what he's saying. ]

Me too. [ another kiss, and then he realizes that doesn't exactly make sense, so he's trying to amend: ] I mean, you're everything to me too.

You're the best.

[exsurgo]

Heh. I've always wanted to be the best. Turns out it's even better than I hoped.

[ Because he gets Cloud, obviously. And to emphasize the point he leans in, kisses Cloud again, puts everything into it. All his love, all his desire, all his admiration. It's something that warms him right through - just being with Cloud like this, just having him close, knowing that Cloud wants him just as much as he wants Cloud. ]

[meteorics]

[ there it is again! and it's impossible to ever build up a tolerance to being kissed like this -- it knocks the breath out of cloud all over again, makes him feel dizzy and overwhelmed and so, so loved.

... and maybe that inspires what comes next. because when the kiss breaks, he fists one hand in zack's shirt and gives it a little tug to get his attention properly again. ]

Hey. [ his cheeks are crimson, but he doesn't stutter. ] Take me to bed?

[exsurgo]

[ Oh. Oh. Oh, hell yeah! Zack leans in to steal one last, quick kiss, and then he adjusts his grip on Cloud's ass until he can just carry him to the bed like that. And once they're there he wants to kiss him again, but -

he's not done trying to show Cloud how special he is just yet. So he sets about undressing him slowly, carefully as if it's his birthday and Cloud is the most precious gift he could ever dream of, from unlacing his new boots to kissing every inch of skin that's revealed as he peels Cloud's shirt off. ]

I wanna treat you right. [ another kiss, just above the fastenings of Cloud's jeans before Zack works them open. ] Let me take care of you.

[meteorics]

[ okay, well. cloud wasn't really worried that zack wouldn't be into the idea, but the speed at which he carts cloud off to the bedroom is still pretty gratifying. and then there's the way zack sets about undressing him -- slowly, deliberately, the way you unwrap a present. it's enough to have his pulse kick up a few notches, little butterflies starting to flutter their wings in his stomach.

it's dumb to be nervous about this! it's not like they haven't been intimate before, and zack has always been enthusiastic and vocal about how much he likes everything cloud does, but still. it's the first time for this, and there's a sentimental holdout in cloud that insists its special.

so there's a mounting sort of pressure to make it good, to get it right.

and that's why he tugs zack up to him for a kiss, slow and sweet, lets all that warm affection and comfort wash over him and sooth some of the nerves that are starting to jangle. ] You always do.

Way more than I actually deserve.

[exsurgo]

[ Listen, kissing is great -

but shirtless kissing is even better, so Zack pulls back a little and takes a moment to strip his shirt off before he tucks in again, pulling Cloud's body flush to his just for the delicious warmth of skin on skin. And he's not sure if that upward tug was just out of the desire for a kiss or an attempt to slow things down a little - it wouldn't be the first time Cloud's seemed a little embarrassed by receiving the full force of Zack's undivided attention - so once they're close again he just stays there, pressing kisses against Cloud's mouth and holding him tight. It's not gonna stop him from making a joke, though. ]

What, you want me to be mean to you? I guess I could try and look up how.

[meteorics]

[ zack is totally right. shirtless kissing is better.

but the comeback makes him snort, even if that's a Very Rude thing to do when someone else's face is this close to yours. it's just hard to imagine zack being mean, and even harder to imagine zack being mean on purpose. (he'd probably end up getting more upset about it than cloud would, and then they'd have to retreat to the couch for pizza and ice cream and comfort-cuddles.) ]

Don't think that's what I'm into. [ actually, he knows it is, because he's very into zack and that's practically the opposite. but he tips up into another kiss, warm and sweet, skimming his fingertips down the other boy's back just to enjoy the feel of bare skin. ] I like you just the way you are.

You're just -- [ he hesitates for a second, trying and failing to come up with a word that sums up how great zack is. ] ... you could have anyone. And you picked me.

[exsurgo]

Nah.

[ A little shake of his head, and Zack trails fingertips up Cloud's side and down again, soaking in the warmth of his skin, the shape of muscle and bone beneath it like he's trying to memorize it. ]

That makes it sound like I was looking for somebody and I chose you. I wasn't looking. Wasn't even thinking about it. And then there you were, and all of a sudden -

I was just in love with you.

[meteorics]

[ oh.

oh.

zack says it so easily, like it's the most natural thing in the world, but the words knock into cloud with all the weight of a physical blow. it leaves him to dizzy to respond for a few long seconds -- maybe there's a part of him that expects zack to laugh and correct himself, to walk the words back into something lighter. but he doesn't, and cloud is left trying to wrap his mind (and his heart) around it, the idea that zack loves him.

does he really feel the way cloud has felt for months? like just being around zack is enough to fill him up with sunshine, like he's home in a strange city whenever zack slings an arm around him or smiles at him in the way that makes his whole face light up. it seems impossible that he could inspire those kinds of feelings in someone else; like he's discovering some hidden talent inside himself, put his hands on an instrument and found that he could play it masterfully.

and honestly, his own feelings on the matter are so obvious (to him), that he forgets how he's supposed to respond. instead, there's just a dazed: ] You're in love with me?

[exsurgo]

Yeah. The best parts of my day are the parts I spend with you. And you make the other parts better, too. I can be mad about something, or bummed out because I have to do a report, and then I see you and whatever made me feel like crap doesn't seem so important any more. Even just sitting on the couch doing nothing is good if I'm doing it with you, and you know how bad I am at doing nothing.

[ And it's only after he spills all of that out that he realizes that's not... the traditional response someone gives to a declaration of love. Not that Zack was thinking of it as a declaration when he said it, but still. The hand that's been stroking over Cloud's side moves to find his hand and lace their fingers together, warm and close. ]

That's okay, right?

[meteorics]

[ it's like zack speaks directly to the thoughts whirling around in cloud's head, and he'd probably laugh at the accuracy if what zack was saying didn't leave him breathless. it's just... a lot! to wrap his head around!

but the question snaps his attention back to the moment between them, enough for him to realize that he left the obvious unsaid. ] Yeah.

Yeah, of course, I -- [ there's no reason to be shy about it! not when zack has already said it first, but! it feels... huge. monumental, a declaration, and the enormity of it all smacks into him all over again. ] I love you, too. So much, it -- [ a little puff of laughter, wonderfully overwhelmed. ] It's almost scary, sometimes.

I just never thought -- [ but he doesn't want to ruin the moment with self-deprecation, so. he shakes his head, switches his train of thought to something better. something that makes him smile so hard his cheeks hurt, leaning up a little to bump their foreheads together. ] Talk about a birthday present.

[exsurgo]

[ Part of Zack wants to argue with that - the idea that it's a present, rather than something that happened naturally because of the way Cloud is - but why fuss when they're here together, warm and close and half-naked, and Cloud just told him he loves him? Celebrating that is way more important, even if Zack's first attempt at kissing Cloud is made a little more difficult by the sheer broadness of the grin on his face.

It's good. It's so good, to have it out and said. Not like he was holding it in - it just felt like a given, really - but there's something magical about having told Cloud he loves him and hearing Cloud say it in return, and he tries to put his appreciation of that in his kiss and in the leg he presses between Cloud's tangling them close. ]

[meteorics]

[ cloud's still gonna count it as a present! the perfect way to top off the best birthday ever, the frosting on the cupcake. zack loves him! it's a warm, wonderful thought -- an idea he knows he's going to drag out and admire countless times over the coming weeks, like a sweet you can hold in your mouth forever without it melting.

but right now? zack is here, and it's impossible not to give him his full attention when he knows how to kiss cloud like that. the other boy presses closer, works a leg between cloud's thighs, and cloud gasps a sound that breaks the kiss as the friction rubs right up against where he's already getting hard. (who knew you could get a boner from emotions?) ]

Zack -- [ whispered against his mouth before the next kiss, awed and reverent. this is for him. him, and only him, and he's the luckiest person in the world. ]

[exsurgo]

Cloud.

[ It's sighed, happy, blissful. Maybe it's cocky that he always thought they'd get here, maybe it's arrogant that he's never had a moment of this can't be real - but that doesn't mean he's not determined to soak up every single moment of it. And as for knowing you can get a boner from emotions, Zack knew, and he rolls his hips a little to rub against Cloud. ]

You're really hot, you know that?

[meteorics]

[ he loves the way his name sounds when zack says it like that. it sends a little shiver of pleasure up his spine, heat blooming in its wake. but the way zack rolls his hips up against him is enough to make him moan, a low noise that he tries to stifle when he bites down on his lower lip. ]

You're really hot. The hottest. Ever.

[ not exactly eloquent, but it is sincere! blame it on the fact that he's now preoccupied with trying to get zack's pants undone. ]