never been a better time than this

[vacabdication]

[ Pagan Min has mellowed considerably since Ajay has become a more solid fixture in his life. There was a time when he thought the damage done by his past was irreparable, and perhaps that’s still true, but it’s far easier now to remind himself of the good things he has and focus on that. He doesn’t go off the deep end without good reason.

This, he thinks, is a very good reason.

Ajay still spends a lot of time out and about with the villagers, and to a lesser degree the Golden Path. Their relationship isn’t a secret from anyone in the palace, but it seemed... prudent, not to make it public knowledge, and Ajay can’t be disabused of the notion that literally everyone in Kyrat needs his help. So he’ll spend evenings in the palace – sometimes days at a stretch, when Pagan is very lucky – and then head back out to cookfires and safehouses and people who are apparently too worn-down by the Golden Path’s stories of how terrible everything is to hunt their own food. So it’s something of a surprise when Ajay shows up very early one morning looking... tired, more than anything else, tells Pagan I’m gonna stay here for while, if that’s okay and heads off to take such a long shower Pagan feels the need to call out to him and check he hasn’t passed out in there. But it’s a pleasant surprise, to have Ajay close for more than a couple of days, so he doesn’t overthink it.

He does start thinking when he wakes in the middle of the night and slides a hand down the taut plane of Ajay’s stomach only to have the boy jolt awake, giving a half-shouted stop!. He draws his hand back immediately, of course, and blinks as Ajay’s eyes focus on him and he lowers a fist it seems he didn’t even think he was making, mumbles shit, sorry and wraps his arms around Pagan, lowering them back to the mattress in a sleepy tangle of limbs. In the morning Ajay kisses him awake and curls into him like nothing ever happened, but the memory of it sticks. And then by afternoon word gets back to him from one of the people he’s placed in the Golden Path – not spies, heavens no, just helpful eyes and ears – that someone had seen Ajay leaving one of the safehouses in the middle of the night in the kind of hurry that usually means the outpost is being retaken, not a soldier to be seen, but with Sabal shouting at him out of the doorway.

What was he saying, Pagan asks, already forming an idea, and when the answer comes - whoring only for the king doesn’t make you any less of a whore - well, something has to be done, obviously. Which is why dear Sabal now finds himself bound and gagged in one of the lower rooms of the palace, where Paul used to the occasional spot of dirty work when called for, while Pagan decide what to do with him. In hindsight, that’s a mistake, because Pagan catches Ajay in the room right next door looking through a box of documents for god-knows-what, and now it’s up to Pagan to distract him.

Which... oh. Now that he thinks about it, could be a very fitting punishment all of its own. ]

Look at you, [ he says, his voice giving ample warning before he moves up behind Ajay to curl arms about his waist and bury a kiss behind his ear. ] You’re very attractive when you’re doing all your intelligence gathering. Like a sexy spy.

[ The fact that he may have a devious little plot in mind makes it no less true. ]

Comments

[vaaris]

[ pagan doesn't stop, and everything about it hangs suspended on that knife's edge of so damn good and too fucking much. still, ajay arches his spine and cants his hips back, and absolutely nothing about that says stop. he's willing to let pagan take him apart, break him into pieces, drag him past the limits of what it feels like he can take -- because after it's all done, pagan will gather him back together and knit him tenderly into someone whole.

the noises that get wrung out of him are desperate little keening sounds -- he'd be embarrassed to let anyone else hear them, but trying to hide any part of himself from pagan seems pointless. the way pagan moves in him drags ajay's orgasm out until it seems like it lasts a lifetime; wrings him out all the way down to his core, until his vision is nothing but glittering bursts of starlight and every muscle in his body is trembling.

and when it's finally, finally over, all ajay can do is slump against the side of the shower wall and breathe. he feels good; stripped bare and oddly purified in a way that none of his frantic scrubbing showers of the past few days have managed. the lingering ghost of sabal's touch has been blazed off the surface of his skin, a baptism of heat and flesh, and it's... good. he needed it. and pagan knew, the way he always seems to. ]

I think I need to sit. [ accompanied by a breathless little laugh. his knees are jelly and his legs can't be trusted to support him -- if it wasn't for the grip pagan has on him and the way he's able to steady himself against the wall, ajay's pretty sure he'd already be a heap on the floor. ] Take that as a compliment.

[vacabdication]

Hm.

[ It's the most he can manage for a moment, as he squeezes Ajay's hand and drags a breath into his lungs. Then he laughs, a low, shaky chuckle. He will take it as a compliment, but he understands. Ajay may have been joking about Pagan breaking his hip but he suddenly feels in great danger of taking an embarrassing fall. So: he pulls out, making a small pained sound st the loss of that connection, and shakily guides them both down to the floor of the shower and pulls Ajay's head against his shoulder, burying a kiss in his hair. It might not be scooping Ajay up and carrying him safely to bed the way Pagan would do if he were a romantic lead, but it's the most he can manage without imperiling them both. And finally, when he's managed to tuck Ajay up just as close and safe as he wants him: ]

Same.

[vaaris]

[ he normally prefers that pagan stay in him as long as possible after sex, hoping to stretch that closeness out as long as he can, but. he soaks up this kind of physical contact instead, tucking himself up against pagan until he's halfway in the older man's lap -- letting his head find pagan's shoulder, and reaching for his hand again to hold. not quite as perfect as being able to tangle up with him in the sheets, but good. ]

Is it weird if I say thanks?

[vacabdication]

Maybe. But I'm glad you want to say it. Thank you.

[ For trusting him. For coming back to him. For being just freaky enough not to have left the instant he heard Sabal was in the next room, especially. ]

It means more to me than I can say that you feel safe here. And of course -

[ and he can't help it. It feels like a serious moment, both of them so wrung-out with pleasure and raw, but his mouth twitches up into a smile that quickly turns into a grin ]

I love you.

[vaaris]

I do. Feel safe here. [ he squeezes gently around pagan's hand as if pressing the point home. ] Safer than I've felt in a long time.

[ they're so close that he can feel pagan's smile against his skin, and it prompts one of his own. ]

I love you, too. [ and then he tips up just enough to kiss him, not even pulling away before he adds: ] But if you kidnap anyone else without talking to me first, I'll --

[ a pause. it's hard to summon up a good threat when he's so pleasantly fogged by afterglow. ] ... it'll be terrible and you won't enjoy it.

[vacabdication]

Oh, I believe you.

[ Ajay might be disappointed in him. And that would be terrible; that plush mouth screwed into a frown, disapproval in those beautiful eyes. Though for all the jokes he makes to himself he knows it would be terrible. He rather prides himself on consistently being better than Ajay has expected him to be. The idea of being worse is genuinely awful. But his face is still so close, so Pagan ducks in for another kiss, slow and soft and lingering. ]

I solemnly swear not to kidnap anyone else without speaking to you first.

[ There. A promise he can keep, plus enough wiggle room to throw Sabal to the demonfish if he puts his filthy hands on Ajay again. Everybody wins! ]

[vaaris]

[ and the thing is? ajay believes him.

enough so that he doesn't even need to study pagan's face to see if there's honesty written there -- ajay trusts him. so he simply bumps their heads gently together after that kiss, nuzzling in affectionately and giving the other man's hand a little squeeze. ]

Officially the weirdest relationship boundary I've ever set, by the way.