fourstrings | all the walls i hide behind

all the walls i hide behind

[ He overthinks it, of course. He overthinks everything, but this feels like the most important thing he'll ever do. It needs to be perfect. How, and where, and when - the planning of it makes him anxious to the point of forgetting meals and laying awake at night, until Gladio corners him with a none-too-gentle smack to the back of his head and a strict order to spit out whatever he's worrying at. Despite the rough approach, it helps immeasurably; it's a blessing simply to share his plans, and Gladio rightly points out that Noctis would be more embarrassed than pleased by string quartets or other overt displays and convinces him to “dial it down a little, Iggy”.

The ring is, oddly enough, the easiest part. His mother's wedding and engagement rings are among the very few possessions of his parents' that he still has, and it's easy enough to find a jeweler. The small, delicate pieces are reformed into something wider and less overtly feminine, the stones set flat against the ring to prevent them from catching, the band itself stamped with a subtle fish-scale pattern that lends it a little delicacy despite its otherwise functional design. It feels good in his hand; a ring that will, he hopes, be much more pleasant to wear than Noct's last.

And then there's Lunafreya. Wonderful, beautiful Luna, who'd played such a part in getting them to where they are today. If Luna hadn't survived, hadn't brought all her strength to bear to petition the Astrals the way she did – well, Ignis wouldn't be in any position to make such plans at all. Ignis is something of a traditionalist at heart, and in the absence of a parent to ask, she'd seemed the next natural option. To Ignis, at least. Not, apparently, to Lunafreya herself, who'd initially been puzzled, then whooped with delight, and then – when he was out of the room and, he suspects, not supposed to hear it – laughed herself sick. He can't hold it against her; not when she'd taken his hand in hers, soft laughter in her eyes, and given Ignis her blessing to ask her former betrothed for his hand in marriage.

In the end, he turns back to the beginning. A rooftop garden – not the same one of years ago, Noct's old apartment building having been destroyed, but still high enough to afford a similar view of the lights and bustle of a city that's thriving against all odds, the rebuilding almost complete. A picnic, some very fine wine, and jangling nerves. He can't help thinking back as he waits, pacing. Had it been like this for Noctis back then? All nerves and dread and excitement?

He can ask Noctis when he arrives, he supposes. Although not right away. That would rather spoil the surprise. ]

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There's no law that says it can't be both.

[ And, because he's not so nervous he can't make a little fun of himself - ]

I checked.

[ His palms are only very mildly sweaty, but he still tries to inconspicuously wipe one off on his trousers before he reaches for Noct's hand and leads him to sit with him at the blanket and reaches for the wine. ]

Now, I know this wasn't a smash hit last time, but you might like this one a little better. It's lighter, almost sweet. Languishing in a cellar in Accordo since before everything went pear-shaped.

[ And it's sparkling, because that always adds a sense of occasion. He eases the cork out with only a small pop, and pours two glasses. The scent increases his conviction that Noctis will prefer it to the heavy stuff they'd had back in the day; it smells of apricots and fresh rolls with honey. He hands Noct a glass, and lifts his own. ]

What should we toast?

[ i checked is enough to make him laugh, something warm and full. and when he takes ignis' hand, he steals the opportunity to lace their fingers together and give the other man a little squeeze before ignis moves to take the cork from the wine.

tradition probably dictates that he take a seat across from ignis, but... they've never been much for tradition, have they? so he settles himself right next to ignis instead, close enough to let their shoulders brush together. the seat gives them both a beautiful view of the reborn city -- city lights twinkling like stars along the horizon, rebuilt buildings stretching up towards the sky. ]

To new chapters. [ and as he taps his glass lightly against ignis', he leans in to press a kiss against his cheek. ] And to the people we're writing them with.

[ Noctis is warm at his side, and that alone is enough to make Ignis smile, but then he speaks and oh, it's perfect. He knows Noctis has no real desire to rule -- there's been talk of changes once everything's settled and in honesty Ignis doesn't believe there's a soul in Lucis that would begrudge Noctis a quieter life after everything he's done for them -- but the words are so well-chosen that something wells up in him, warm and loving and irrepressible. Ultimately the decision is Noct's to make, but it's moments like this that prove he's not quite as lacking in formal graces as the thinks. He's come such a long way from the boy sulking in the back of the Regalia, claiming he'd rather be in the obituaries than the headlines. Noctis is all hope and care and the determination to make things right, and should he choose to continue as king, he will be beloved. ]

Marry me.

[ ...

he had only meant to echo the toast. THERE HAD BEEN A PLAN. He freezes for a moment, pressing his lips together and just barely managing to suppress a little whine of embarrassment. ]

[ unfortunately, noctis was already in the process of starting to take a sip to complete his toast, so. the startled noise that gets choked out of him is enough to make him snort champagne pretty inelegantly up his nose, and that kicks off an equally inelegant bout of choking.

good job, ignis. you murdered the king.

... no, no, he's got this. but it does require putting his glass down and giving himself a few firm thumps on the chest before he can breathe properly again, managing a breathless laugh. ]

It wasn't even -- [ cough ] -- that great of a toast, c'mon.

[ Ignis had imagined several different ways he might end the evening, but departing a regicide had not been among them. His hand goes instantly to Noct's back, rubbing circles that are almost certainly less effective than the solid thumps Noct administers himself, and while he remembers to set his own glass down instead of simply dropping it, it's a very near thing indeed. ]

Gods, Noct, I'm sorry. That wasn't - will water help? I have some.

[ He does, and he's already leaning for the basket to fetch one of the little bottles that he'd tucked in there - admittedly more to keep the goat's cheese and walnut tarts cool than in case he accidentally murdered the king, but tonight is already proving his foresight isn't everything it could be. ]

[ he takes the bottle of water gratefully when ignis holds it out -- it's admittedly way more effective at clearing things up than a fizzy glass of champagne. and this finally means that he's able to stop coughing, even though...

... he can't help but grin at the look of absolute contrition all over ignis' features. ]

We really need to work on your sense of humor, Specs. [ but, to prove there really was no harm done, he leans over to press a kiss against the other man's cheek. ] Or maybe just the timing.

[ Inside him, there's a little spark of hope that wilts sadly when Noctis mentions his sense of humor, and perks back up like a neglected houseplant given water at the kiss and continuation. Ignis allows himself a small and rueful smile and give Noctis one final conciliatory pat on the back before he rather shamelessly retrieves his glass and bolts the contents. ]

I am sorry. I didn't mean - [ he is rolling the stem of his glass between his fingers, making it twirl. It is, he belatedly realizes, rather obnoxious, and he sets it down again. ] I didn't mean to do it like that. I was just... how did you put it before? Overcome. Still, I suppose the cat's out of the bag now.

[ His teeth press together as he fishes the little velvet box from his pocket, a bad habit left over from the days of his braces, when applying pressure in any other direction could momentarily distract him from the discomfort. It still applies, probably, but he opens the box and presents it to Noctis regardless. ]

If you'll allow me to re-attempt it - Noctis, I've loved you for as long as I remember, and every day I'm amazed to find that I love you more than I did the day before. Being with you makes me happier than I could have imagined. I want that forever, and to have forever to do the same for you. Will you marry me?

[ ... oh.

seeing ignis flustered is such a rare experience that noctis can't help but blink at him, stunned at the growing realization that ignis might actually be... serious. and then ignis draws a small velvet box out of one of his pockets, opens it to present a ring, and launches into something that sounds undeniably like a proposal.

a proposal. ignis is proposing to him.

and noctis is caught so off-guard that all he can do is swallow, blinking against the sudden stinging feeling at the corners of his eyes. he'd be lying if he tried to say that he'd never imagined this moment -- except he always pictured himself proposing to ignis, trying to convince him to shed his worries about propriety and appearances in order to accept his hand.

... one should never underestimate ignis scientia. it's a lesson noctis is forced to learn, time and time again. ]

I -- [ he's crying, and his attempts to sniffle it back into submission are doing absolutely nothing to make him look any cooler. it's lucky, then, that the answer is obvious. ] Duh.

[ only narrowly avoiding upsetting his glass of champagne as he surges forward, taking ignis' face in both of his hands so that he can press breathless, laughing kisses all over his face. ] Of course I'll marry you, of course, of course, of course. There's absolutely no one else I'd rather have.

Oh, thank the gods.

[ It's mumbled, because he's leaning into the cradle of Noct's hands, delivering kisses of his own wherever he can sneak them in. He'd tried to prepare himself for the possibility that Noctis might say no, that it might simply be too much at a time when their reborn world was still a new and fragile thing requiring so much attention, or that the asking might sour things somehow. It's a curious feeling that he has now; a heady blend of relief that none of those outcomes came to pass, and amusement that he'd worried at all. Noctis loves him, as deeply and as truly as he loves Noctis in return, and the fact that he'd worried so over it seems ridiculous. He smiles, his mouth tasting of champagne and the odd stray tear and his own delighted laughter, making it difficult to pull away. One more kiss. No, just one more. And perhaps another - ]

Hang on, I'm supposed to - [ he says, finally summoning the willpower to pull back. The bright silver-white of the ring is easy to make out against the black of its cushion, even with his own eyes prickling, and he reaches for Noct's hand to slip it into place. ]

There.

[ the mumble is just loud enough for him to hear, and that means he can't help but laugh in response.

but ignis takes the moment to slip the ring onto his finger before noctis even has the chance to tease him, and he melts helplessly. so much of their life now feels like a happy daydream -- the chance to rebuild their home, the chance to see insomnia as it once was, the chance to spend their days together in peace. and this is just one more moment of that dream; he and ignis have an opportunity to celebrate their love in front of the entire world, to promise themselves to each other because they've been freed from all other claims.

it's almost too much to bear, really. ]

You were nervous. [ it's less teasing than it is adoring, because the idea is helplessly endearing. ] As if I'd ever say no.

Of course I was nervous, you're the bloody king.

[ He's smiling too much for it to sound remotely huffy, and he lifts Noct's hand to his mouth to kiss the ring before he gives up on any pretense of keeping cool and tugs Noctis just that little bit further, into his lap. ]

I should have just asked you when I first thought of it. I finally got over whether it would make people think less of you, but somewhere between having my mother's rings remade and asking Lady Lunafreya for her blessing I got myself all knotted up over it, thinking I'd foul it up. And look, I was right. I just blurted it out like asking if you wanted coffee. What a wanker.

[ He puts as much derision into that last statement as possible - sadly for him, he's so happy that's not much derision at all. ]

[ ignis is the sweetest, most ridiculous, most wonderful man in insomnia, and noctis is fully prepared to make some sort of royal announcement to that effect. because between the idea of this being his mother's ring to the thought of ignis asking luna for her blessing...

it's all so ridiculously overthought and hopelessly sweet that noctis feels like he's falling in love all over again. so he punctuates ignis' last statement with another kiss to his mouth, grinning widely at him all the while. ]

Yeah, but you're my wanker. [ which... isn't an incredibly romantic-sounding sentiment, but whatever. ] And I couldn't have asked for a better proposal.

Or a better fiancé.

[ Ignis is not too swept up in the romance of it to raise his eyebrows suggestively at my wanker, but the effect is probably ruined by the way he flushes slightly when Noctis continues. He knows that he can be stuffy and overly concerned with details and formalities at times; it's nice to have the reminder that most of the time, Noctis finds it endearing rather than grating. Ignis hooks an arm around Noct's waist, and lifts his other hand to brush against Noct's cheek. ]

And delighted to be so. Just the fact that you're still with us seemed too good to be true. It seemed foolish not to push my luck while the luck was about.

[ He's quieter now; thinking about how thinks could have gone, how they'd been told they were supposed to go, used to be painful. Now it just makes him overwhelmingly grateful, and he pulls Noctis into a kiss that's slower and more lingering. ]

[ and he's more than happy to loop his arms around ignis' shoulders and draw him closer into the kiss, returning it as if it's possible to convey all of the love singing through every inch of him. the idea of spending the rest of his life with this man is so wonderful, so perfect, so right.

he means it absolutely when he says he could never want anyone else. ]

So. [ with a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. ] Does that make you my queen?

It wouldn't be the first time someone's called me that.

[ It's absolutely free of any ill-feeling - one can only strut around in coeurl print and tight trousers if one possesses a certain comfort with the image it projects, after all. But it does raise a point that's probably important for them to talk about, at some point or another. ]

I believe Prince Consort is more traditional, though when the Rogue Queen married her husband took no title. It was a minor scandal back in the day, but it might be more appropriate in the current climate.

Who cares about scandal? I think I've earned a little tolerance.

[ drawing ignis close enough to press another warm kiss against his mouth, confident in his assertion. ] You'll take whatever title you prefer, and people will deal with it.

We're building a brand new world, Ignis. Time for some new traditions.

You've earned much more than that, love. I just wouldn't want anyone to think I'm marrying you for power when I'm clearly marrying you for your incredible backside and your talent in bed.

[ He is mostly joking. It's one of the things that had put him off, at first; he wouldn't have cared, but the talk would make its way back to Noctis eventually and make him cross. It had taken a longer time than it ought to realize that their happiness should trump the occasional irritating opinion. ]

I quite like Prince Consort. You did used to joke about making me prince instead of you. Now you can do it. And consort has a... saucy tone I'm rather fond of.

[ noctis' laugh is immediate and warm, half-muffled as he dips his head to press a kiss against ignis' shoulder. ] Are you kidding? People have seen my incredible backside. They'll know power is the last thing on your mind.

[ kidding! he's kidding. ]

Prince Consort it is, then. [ and now he presses another kiss to the corner of ignis' mouth, eyes sparkling with laughter. ] Saucy is an impossibly convincing argument.

[ He laughs so freely and abruptly it's almost a bark of sound. Largely because it's not nearly as much of a joke as Noctis seems to think it is. He's well aware that some of Noct's trips to meet with his people and prove that he's more than a figurehead have left some people inspired by what he's achieved, and others by his dreaminess. ]

Just another reason for me to make things official. Eventually someone's going to be bold enough to make a run at the Saviour of Eos. Might as well be me.

[ It is quite impossible to stop kissing Noctis, he finds. Which is just as well, giving that they've agreed to spend the rest of their lives kissing one another. He's slower about it this time, tugging his lip gently between his teeth, licking into his mouth with lazy indulgence. They just had a conversation about titles and formalities, and it didn't ruin the mood. It's a good sign; a wonderful one, really, and he shifts until he can cup Noct's face in his hands, just wanting to hold him. To value him. Even with their giddy joking it's starting to feel real, and it fills his chest with a warm, wonderful ache. He leans his forehead against Noct's and closes his eyes, feeling the prickling threat of tears again. ]

We're doing this. We're going to be married.

I'm just glad you made your stake clear before they started coming up with pick-up lines. [ because he's happy enough to be feeling pretty silly, and he loves the sound of ignis laughing. so his voice shifts into a breathless falsetto, lashes fluttering. ] Oh, Noctis, you brought the light into my life --

[ and that's right about where ignis cuts him off with another kiss, which only makes him muffle another warm laugh against the other man's mouth. ]

We're going to be married. [ and he turns his head just enough to be able to press a kiss into one of ignis' palms, smiling against his skin. ] You know... I was fully prepared to have to talk you into this. I've been going over all the arguments in my head for forever.

[ He has been talking Ignis into it, really. Day by day, in small ways that have made Ignis realize how much he loves him over and over, and then all at once proving they deserve whatever happiness they can take. The kiss to his palm is a warm little thing, something that makes him shiver pleasantly, but he's not beyond pushing it just a little. ]

Oh? Now I'm wondering whether I should have held out. What would you have said to convince me?

[ and his eyes flick back until he's making eye contact with ignis again, mischief creeping into his grin. ]

Would've reminded you about my incredible backside, for starters.

[ His laughter at that is bright and immediate; Noctis can get a lot of mileage out of a joke, and maybe one day he'll regret it, but right now it's delightful. even the thought that he'll have the chance to get sick of it delights him. He can imagine them as old men together, Noctis citing his incredible backside as an excuse for why he should be getting his own way. And through the laughter (and one hand drifting down to the body part in question) his eyes are soft and warm. ]

I'm horrified you think I'd need reminding.

[ well, as long as it gets ignis laughing like that, the joke isn't dying anytime soon. and noctis' answering grin makes it obvious that he's delighted with himself, leaning in to catch ignis' mouth in another kiss like he's trying to chase the sound of laughter on his lips. ]

You don't always have your priorities straight. [ trailing kisses down the line of ignis' jaw, still grinning against his skin. ] Sometimes you start thinking about duty and honor and forget about my ass.

[ Those kisses are lovely, and Ignis tips his head in encouragement, but they're not quite distracting enough to turn him from the point. ]

Lies. My work may require that it's far from my reach, from time to time [ and at this point he abandons the pretense that his hands are gently wandering and simply cups Noct's ass ] but it's never far from my mind.

[ okay, well. if there's a way to keep a straight face after a line like that, noctis never learned the trick. so he ruins his Very Suave attempt at seduction by snorting a muffled laugh against ignis' cheek, pulling back to grin at him. ]

There's a sentiment. Wonder why they haven't put that on a card, yet.

[ Snorting aside, Noct's attempt at seduction is working just fine. Ignis uses his new grip on Noct's ass to haul him in and close the tiny gap between them, pressing them chest-to-chest. ]

Perhaps when all this has settled, there's a new career waiting for me at the end.

[ HE'S A COMEDY GENIUS. If he's very lucky, the fact that he drops his mouth to Noct's neck and presses a slowly, gently sucking kiss there will save him from getting swatted in disgust. ]

[ why on eos did he agree to marry this man??

... then again, that kiss that follows is a fairly decent reminder, even if it is not enough to keep ignis from being socked (lightly) in the shoulder the moment he pulls away. ]

Careful. I could add something about my ass to your official job description, Specs.

Now there's a scandal waiting to happen.

[ Unfortunately the warning isn't enough to keep him from being very pleased with himself indeed, and he's still smiling as his fingers trail upward and under the hem of Noct's shirt to run over the skin above the waist of his pants. He's whiffed his carefully-planned proposal and still had everything turn out just how he wanted - chances are, he's going to be incorrigible. ]

What did you have in mind?

I dunno... [ and because he's never been one to turn down ignis in an incorrigible mood, he moves to pluck at the first few buttons of the other man's shirt, tugging it aside to expose the arch of his collarbones.

too tempting not to lean down and kiss, and why bother trying to resist?

still, it doesn't stop him from answering. ] Royal Ass Wrangler? Illustrious Butt Tender? Imperial Ambassador to the Derriere?

[ His eyes fall shut with a flutter as Noct's mouth meets his collarbone. Looks like they're going to be two for two on rooftop picnics that don't make it to an actual meal, but he can't find it in himself to regret it. ]

Hm. They all sound very grand. Like a title I'll have to earn.

[ And he's prepared to do so right here, if the way he starts unbuttoning Noct's shirt is any indication. Except: he gets an idea, and a wicked little glint in his eye, and places a hand on Noct's chest to guide him back juuuuust enough -

that he can rip the front of his shirt open, and send buttons flying. ]

[ cue a pause.

... because he knows damn well what ignis just did, and knows damn well that ignis is poking fun at him, but. well. ... that was really hot.

still, two can play at this game, right? ]

So. This is the part where I tell you we should probably take it slow, right?

[ Well, he deserved that. Of course, he also remembers that quite soon after the suggestion that they slow down he'd thrown all his nerves and caution to the wind, and that the feeling of Noctis cradled between his thighs and grinding against him had been a revelation. He at least has the decency to look mildly embarrassed as he skims his hand up Noct's torso to rub a nipple into a firm little rise that he can gently tweak as he answers. ]

I knew my misdeeds would come back to haunt me someday. Would you like me to slow down, Noct?

Hell no.

[ which comes out a little breathless, because that thing ignis is doing with his fingers is magic. and he can't help but arch himself into that touch -- except that's not enough, and he decides to hell with any attempt at playing coy when he wriggles right into ignis' lap. ]

You really wanna know what I'd like you to do?

Gods, yes.

[ He answers with indecent haste, but he's rather hoping the suggestion will be indecent as well. And that brings a smile to his face, even as he leans in mouth at the pale stretch of Noct's throat and his fingers keep playing over his skin. How can it be indecent when they're to be wed? ]

I really want --

[ and then he pauses, brow furrowing in thought as he blinks at the air just above ignis' head. wait, shit. his brilliant suggestion might be upset by a minor technicality. ] ... do you have to wait until the wedding to consummate your vows?

[ ...and Ignis' gentle ministrations against Noct's throat are interrupted as he laughs, sudden and bright. ]

I should hope not, [ and it's a little breathless with merriment, there. Though he's not too amused to roll that nipple between his fingertips, trying to make Noct gasp. ] I think we've rather missed the boat on saving ourselves for marriage.

[ ignis gets his wish as noctis' breath hitches, fingers tightening themselves helplessly in the other man's suit jacket. gods, ignis has magic fingers, and they are Absolutely Unfair -- especially when they're being used so skillfully against him. ]

Great. [ which is all the warning ignis is going to get before noctis undoes the front of ignis' pants in a few well-practiced motions, sliding his hand inside to curl warmly around his dick with a little squeeze. and he presses a kiss against the hollow of ignis' ear, turning to nuzzle warmly into him. ] That means we can get right to it, then.

[ Ignis presses up against that squeeze with a warm little moan, and shifts only enough to allow him to pull away Noct's brutalized shirt and skin out of his own jacket. It's almost funny how different it feels, given that all that's changed between them is a few words and a promise, but it does. He leans to meet Noct's mouth with his own, lips quirking up against the kiss with the knowledge that the man touching him is now his fiancé. It's a little intoxicating. ]

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all the walls i hide behind

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