fourstrings | spent twenty years trying to get out of this place

spent twenty years trying to get out of this place

[ Taking Vash to the orphanage has gotta be one of his best ideas of all time.

He’d warned Vash on the way over that the kids can be wary of strangers. That it’s not like in old movies where every adult who comes in is a potential parent and everyone’s on their best behaviour, hoping to make themselves seem like a good choice. That they test people, they can be withdrawn or outright rude, that some of them probably won’t even look at him. Because more than they remember the kids who were there and got adopted, they remember the tiny handful who got adopted and came back, quieter now, feeling like there must be something wrong with them, something that makes them bad, and they learned too soon that sometimes it’s better never to have something than to have it and lose it. But they’d arrived and there’d been the usual cries of Nico! Nico’s here! and they’d clustered around, and the kids had known exactly what Nick had known: it didn’t take more than a minute to know Vash was good.

As predicted, they’d asked if Vash was his boyfriend. Well, they’d told him. Oooh, Nico’s got a boooyfrieeend, and he’d just looped his arm around Vash’s waist and said yep. A good one, and they’d gone nuts for approximately 30 seconds before dragging Vash off for a guided tour of the bedrooms, the rec room, the animals - a couple dogs who loved Vash just as much as the kids do, the chickens who are so used to little hands that they’ll wander right up for pets.

Best of all had been Theresa. Seven years old, still full of childlike innocence but old enough now to be wary of her differences, to know how cruel the world can be, used to new adults giving her a tight smile and saying hello, sweetheart before their eyes slid right off her, unwilling to look at the prominent scar on her face. She’d been quiet as usual for a good chunk of the morning, but when they’d all sat down for lunch and a small round of bickering broke out about who got to sit next to Vash, she’d skipped the queue with the determined and slightly stilted gait her prosthetic leg gave her and claimed her place at his side.

Nick’d had to excuse himself to go get an extra pitcher of water for the table just to avoid pissing her off with the gooey look on his face.

Later, there’d been games, the kids laughing delightedly as Vash and Nick followed along with little dancing animated characters and then absolutely destroying their scores. Reading, which Nick used as an excuse to show off a little. The Big Bad Wolf got a Clint Eastwood drawl, the three little pigs developed a tendency to call each other pardner, and in a new twist ending Little Red Riding Hood showed up armed with a six-shooter, scared the wolf away for good, and was made sheriff of New Pork. When it was time to leave and the kids tried to make Nick promise to bring Vash next time Nick said he would if he hadn’t scared him off by then, and Theresa deployed the savagery of a child with a good vocabulary and slightly lesser social skills by turning to Vash and saying you know where it is now. You can come without him.

Then as promised, Nick takes Vash to the chapel. It’s small; it doesn’t need to be big, because thankfully the orphanage is never quite full. It’s pretty, though, and built with children in mind. Low pews for little legs at the front, and the stained-glass window is a lamb slumbering peacefully in an emerald field, a lion’s face making the sun in the sky, framed in red roses that are the only visible reference to thorns - no crucifixes here, because Catholic as they may be someone apparently put their foot down about scaring the kids. There’s a little confessional but it’s seldom used; the kids aren’t required to go in there at all, and at least in Nick’s days it was primarily a place to hide and make out. Or other things – Nick’s at least 75% sure he’s the reason there’s a smoke detector in there now. And of course, the little shelves with their little candles, flickering in their jars. It’s probably not the done thing to have open flames anymore, but when your whole organization is dedicated to making a place of peace and healing for children who’ve lost everyone, sometimes tradition is important.

Nick slips his hand into Vash’s as they enter, and he can’t quite hide his affection for the place. He may be very, very lapsed, but good memories last. ]

Huh. I haven’t been in here for years, but it hasn’t changed. Feels like I’m a kid again.

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She's right, y'know.

[ he reels wolfwood close enough to plant a kiss on his cheek.

and if wolfwood was hoping vash had forgotten the ~~threat~~ promise from before, here's to hopes dashed, because: ] I told you already, didn't I? You're a really nice guy, Nick.

Or... [ lighting up with mischief. ] Maybe I should call you Nico, huh?

[ Oh, hell.

Nico isn't new. The orphanage kids have called him that since he was there himself, even if the staff - even the new ones who didn't know him as a child - call him Nicholas. Livio still calls him Nico, too. It's a big brother kind of name, the sort of thing that makes him feel protective and familial. But Vash says it and it sparks a feeling in him that is definitely not brotherly.

Part of his brain helpfully supplies the thought that spouses are family too, and he squashes it hard. Three days! ]

Can if you want. I might like it.

Yeah? [ that grin only gets wider, and he's practically beaming at wolfwood. ] I might like it, too.

It suits you. It's cute.

[ teasing, a little, but it's the honest kind. ]

I'm kinda surprised that you decided to start the bar instead of just coming back here. You're a natural.

I didn't.

[ A shrug, and he pecks a little kiss against Vash's cheek, because he's still trying to wrestle with the fact that Vash said Nico is cute and it suits him, which has... implcations he's not sure he's ready to deal with. ]

It's my old mentor's place. He offered me a job there when I left seminary, so I could make some money while I figured out what I wanted to do. I liked it and turns out I'm good at it, so I stayed on. Pays better than working here, too. Money's not everything, but Livio's still in school, so it lets me help him out. [ And to prove that he hasn't forgotten Miss Mel's lesson entirely: ] Not 'cause I think I have to. 'cause it makes me feel good to know he's taken care of.

Big Brother Nico, huh?

[ it's not like vash needs another reason to love him, but that'll do it.

agh!! wait, no. three days! ]

Not that I'm complaining! If you didn't have the bar, we might've never met.

Couldn't have that.

[ They're already close, so it's easy to loop his arms around Vash's waist, turning to look him in the eye. He's always been the time to decide to do something and then put everything into it, whether it was a good idea or a shitty one - except with relationships. It's a new feeling to be 100% on this so fast, but seeing Vash here just sealed it for him. This is good. ]

I'm glad you came with me today.

Thanks for inviting me.

[ bumping their foreheads together, smile softening. ]

I'd love it here even if it didn't mean a lot to you, but it means even more to me because it does.

[ Aw, hell. He's so boned. He brought Vash here to light a candle, but here he is wanting to drag him to the altar. He leans in, just a little, just enough to press a soft, warm kiss to Vash's mouth. People kiss in chapels all the time! It's no big deal!

Even if they are usually getting married when they do it. Heh, maybe -

THREE! DAYS! THREE DAYS, NICHOLAS!]

I was thinking if you're not sick of me yet, once we wrap up here we could get dinner. Probably too late to make any reservations but we could find somewhere casual. Or just pick something up and take it back to my place.

[ the kiss is nice! really nice, enough to remind him that he hasn't been able to kiss wolfwood all day -- except for the occasional peck on the cheek, and even that had been enough to draw squeals and groans from the peanut gallery.

it's kind of fortunate that the offer makes him light up, forgetting (for now) to wonder whether or not there are any rules about slipping someone some tongue in a holy place. ]

Yeah! I'd love to see your place, if that's cool? [ giving him a teasing little squeeze. ] I gotta check out what kinda light you've got before I gift you any plants.

[ It's probably extremely obvious from Nick's grin that Vash has just given the answer he was hoping for. Possibly less obvious that he's also having thoughts about sloppy makeouts, but not by much. ]

Getting late. Sun might be going down by the time we get back. You might have to stick around 'til morning if you're there to check out the light.

See? It's not just your looks that I'm into. It's your brains.

[ tugging at a lock of wolfwood's hair with a crooked little grin. ]

C'mon. [ finally tugging himself out of the hold, just so he can drag wolfwood closer to the rows of lit candles. ] Show me how to do this before I think too much about desecrating a holy place.

[ Honestly, that's not helping. It's the sweetest, gentlest little tug, but Nick's already thinking about what he might have to do to get Vash to pull his hair properly. But! Candles!

It looks like they're all set. A couple candles lit, flickering in their glass, plenty set out that are unlit. Matches at the ready - the long kind, and they're in a little tray instead of a matchbox. He presses a kiss to Vash's cheek, nods at the setup. ]

Pretty simple. This is one of the few Catholic things that doesn't come with a whole lot of rules attached. Just pick one you like the look of, say what you wanna say - just in your head is fine, it doesn't have to be out loud - and light the candle. If you ever find yourself doing this somewhere they use tapers you'd light it off a lit candle, but here you just light the match off a lit candle and use that to light yours.

[ Can't have little hands knocking a bunch of tapers over, after all. ]

[ it doesn't seem that hard, but... weirdly, vash feels a little nervous! probably just because this is obviously something that has some significance for wolfwood; vash wants to do it right, if only to show that what's important to wolfwood is important to him, too.

... or maybe because, in a weird way, it feels kinda like introducing him to rem?

whatever! when in doubt, don't let yourself think about it too much!

so he picks up one of the matches and spins it idly around his fingers, taking a second before... ]

Hi, Rem. [ he's probably supposed to say a prayer for her, not talk to her, but he doesn't know any prayers and wolfwood didn't specify. ] It's been awhile, huh? I really miss you -- me and Nai are doing okay though, so don't worry! We're still looking out for each other, just like you taught us.

And... [ he gives wolfwood's hand a little squeeze, glancing over at him with a smile. ] I met somebody. I wish you could've gotten to know him, I know you guys would've hit it off. He's sweet, and he's funny, and you should see him with the kids he takes care of. We haven't known each other that long, but I already know he's special.

[ he takes a deep breath, lets it puff back out. ] So... I just wanted to say thanks. For taking care of us back then, and for watching out for us now. I hope wherever you are, you still get to see the geraniums blooming in the spring.

[ and then he dips the match into one of the lit candles, letting it catch before moving it over to light a candle of his own. shaking it out afterwards, then looking over at wolfwood with a sheepish little smile. ] Was that okay?

[ Oh! It's all happening out loud, and once Nick realizes that it seems obvious that it really couldn't have been any other way. They may have only known each other a few days, but it tracks. Of course, then Vash starts talking about him, and it's been a hot minute since anyone introduced him to their parents but he finds himself standing up a little straighter, trying to look a little more respectable, even as I already know he's special makes his mouth curve into a smile and his cheeks shade a little pink. ]

That was perfect.

[ People get funny about it, sometimes. Thinking they have to phrase it like a prayer, or crossing themselves even if they aren't Catholic. Vash just said what he wanted to say, simple and pure. It's... kinda beautiful.

He nods, picks up a match of his own. He hadn't planned to, but the urge is there now. He doesn't pray either, not really - more like a little list in his head. Look out for Livio and the kids, keep Al chugging along happy and pain-free a few more good years yet, and thanks. Thanks for bringing him and Vash together, thanks for Rem, who sounds like an amazing lady who raised an amazing guy, and what the hell - thanks for that kooky brother who keeps Vash safe and looked after. Same process with the match, and then he plucks Vash's out of his hand and drops them into a little jar that lives there now because when there was a trashcan people kept putting scraps of paper and junk in there and it'd catch fire when someone dropped in a hot match. ]

You're somethin' pretty special yourself.

[ vash gets why people do this! especially if they believe there's some kind of higher being up there that listens when they talk. it kind of feels like a good way to get things off your chest, and... it's nice to think that rem might've heard him, wherever she is. ]

Yeah? [ he turns that smile back on wolfwood, but it's softer, fond. ] Guess that makes us a good match.

I'm definitely getting that feeling.

[ Grinning, and he reels Vash back in for another kiss - still no tongue, but it's distinctly more lingering than the last one. ]

Anything else you wanna check out while you're here?

[ agh!! no!! the sacrilegious thoughts are back!! ]

I dunno, you're my Catholic tour guide. [ grinning back. ] What else do I gotta try to get the whole experience?

Dunno. We keep it pretty simple here. No crucifixes, 'cause they don't wanna scare the kids. We already walked past the holy water, but that's only excitin' when one of the kids puts a frog in it.

[ He grins, unable to keep a wicked edge out of it. ]

Wanna see the confessional?

Oh! Yeah!

[ this time, the way he brightens up is absolutely devious. ] You we’re almost a priest, right? Does that mean I can confess to you?

How does it usually go… [ cocking his head to one side, pretending to give the matter Deep Thought. then he looks up at wolfwood through his lashes, putting on his best face of innocent piety. ] Sorry, Daddy, I’ve been bad?

[ Wolfwood takes a deep breath.

He lets it out through his nose, very slowly.

It doesn't help. ]

Save that for when we get home.

[ He might, in another situation, spare a moment to think about the fact that he just said when we get home as if they have the same home, and returning to it at the end of the day is a normal occurrence. How natural it felt to do so, the way it just popped out. But he doesn't. What he does today is grab Vash by the hand again, drag him over to the confessional, pull the door open, shove Vash in, pile in behind him and pull the door closed before he boxes Vash up against the wall with his arms and buries a kiss against his neck. ]

I'm gonna really give you something to confess.

[ oh. home, huh? it sounds so natural when wolfwood says it, almost like they’re going back to a place they share, somewhere they both belong. and vash has just enough time to get a little starry-eyed over it, before — ]

Wha —?! Whoa, hey!

[ it’d sound like more of a protest if he wasn’t giggling like an idiot. which he’s still doing even when wolfwood pins him up against the wall, even if it takes on a breathless quality when the other man’s mouth finds his neck. ]

Oooh, is that how this works? Sin first, confess after? [ he loops his arms around wolfwood’s shoulders, fingertips brushing over the soft baby hairs at the nape of his neck. ] Lucky I’ve got an expert here to walk me through this.

You're in safe hands.

[ He immediately puts the truth of that statement in peril by grazing his teeth against Vash's neck, sucking softly there. Not enough to raise a mark - they could still get spotted on the way out, after all - but enough to suggest it. ]

It's "bless me, father, for I have sinned". Then you say how long it's been since your last confession, and list 'em.

[ He wedges a knee between Vash's legs, presses his thigh in close. ]

Impure thoughts is a good one.

[ it makes him gasp when wolfwood closes his mouth around a tender spot on his neck and sucks, one hand reaching up to tangle in wolfwood’s hair as his head falls back to invite more.

but… he’s still paying attention! ] Mm… bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been… uh, I’ve never actually confessed before, so it’s been however long that is.

Impure thoughts have definitely — [ wolfwood chooses that moment to slot a thigh between vash’s legs and put some pressure where it counts, and vash can’t help but whine and rock himself down against it. ] … been a thing. ‘Specially lately.

Impure actions, too. [ tipping his head so he can lick a line up wolfwood’s throat. ] Y’know, fornicating and stuff.

Oh, you never wanna say "and stuff". 'cause then the priest's got wiggle room to ask for specifics.

[ His eyes fall closed for a moment at the drag of Vash's tongue, and then he's leaning to claim a kiss from his mouth. Plenty of tongue, this time, and one more press of his thigh between Vash's legs before he starts working Vash's pants open, fully set on getting his hand in there unless Vash asks him to stop. ]

Like what kind of stuff. And whether you're planning on doing it again.

[ well. now he’s got the answer to the question about slipping someone a little tongue in a church!

by the time wolfwood breaks away from the kiss, vash is dizzy, and it takes him a few seconds to remember how to use his tongue for words again. still rocking himself against wolfwood’s thigh like he’s forgotten how to stop, licking his lips. ]

Mmm… am I supposed to go into a bunch of details? Like how I let a guy eat me out? Or maybe the part where I dragged him off to bed afterwards and let him fuck me so good I cried?

[ he leans forward enough to nip at wolfwood’s earlobe, tugging. ]

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