fourstrings | i knew this would happen, still hard to believe it

i knew this would happen, still hard to believe it

[ At this point he’s said you’ll be the death of me to Vash on multiple occasions. Every time a violent situation would be easily solved by lasering someone’s head off, for example. Or when Vash figured out how he was coming up with the money for inns and hotels and tried to argue that it wasn’t fair to use his skills to fleece people, still pouting about it when Wolfwood pointed out stopping would mean no more actual beds, no bathtubs, and zero donuts. When they figured out that making Vash come via his dick meant he was still raring to go by other means, that was a good one.

He’d say it now, if he was well enough. Told you you’d be the death of me. It’s probably a good thing he got hurt so bad he can’t speak, because Vash wouldn’t think it was funny.

Truthfully, he wouldn’t want Vash to blame himself anyway, even if there’s no way in hell he would have put himself between someone else and a bullet without Vash’s influence. And it was fucking stupid! It’d be one thing if it was Vash, or a kid, or like… a really hot woman. But the person Nicholas D. Wolfwood, The Punisher, tackled out of the way and took a bullet for was an old man. Probably only got ten or fifteen good years left in him anyway, but the guy had given them a place to stay and made sure they were fed and introduced them to his family, and all Wolfwood could think of when he saw the bandit firing at him was his damn grandkids, and the way Vash would sink into that pattern of thinking he ruins everything he lets close again. How the fuck was he supposed to know the first bullet would hit the damn pocket he keeps his vials in? He’d even arranged a drop in the next town over, but he can’t tell Vash that because the second bullet had hit him right in the throat. Long term treatment like he got is designed to keep you on your feet long enough to get a dose to heal you up, but in this case all it’s gonna do is make sure he dies slow.

He'd thought about this moment, when he was feeling especially maudlin. How he’d kiss Vash gently and tell him that he gets to die a better man than he was, because of Vash. But he can’t speak, can’t move his limbs to raise a hand to Vash’s face. All he can do is gurgle and bleed and hurt. He’d almost forgotten how much it hurts and for how long when you can’t patch it up right away.

Turns out, though, that there’s one more thing he can do. And as his vision fills with blotches of red and black, he does it, and passes right the fuck out. ]

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[ It takes him a second. The fuck does Vash have to give? His height and the coat will fool you, but under all of that he's skinny. Any skinnier and he'd be wasting away, he -

oh. ]

Vash.

[ Instantly, he wants to tell him to stop. Knows it's pointless, that they'd only fight about it. Knows Vash needs this, as much as Wolfwood hates the thought of it. It's the absolution Wolfwood can't give him; like people going to church and asking for penance to balance out their sins. On this planet, people depend on plants to live. Vash blames himself for people being on this planet, so he gives part of himself to the plants, keeps them running, keeps the people alive.

It's terrifying. It's beautiful. It's Vash, all over.

It's the first time since he learned what Vash is that he's considered that Vash might die first. That he might give too much of himself away, just wither up and die. Maybe not; he's been going for this long, who knows how much spare he's got in there. But it doesn't look like a lot. ]

I -

[ He what? Understands? Yeah, but he doesn't want to. Wishes he wouldn't? Pointless. He cups a hand at the side of Vash's face, strokes a thumb over his cheek. ]

Is it gonna kill you?

[ there. now it's all out in the open between them. no more secrets, no more hiding. and that, at least, feels better, even if this entire conversation was the emotional equivalent of someone taking to his insides with a belt sander. ]

I don't know.

[ which isn't a lie, even if probably might have been a little more honest. but he leans into that hand at his cheek, as desperate for the touch as ever, still unable to wrap his mind around the fact that he gets it after everything wolfwood has heard. ]

It used to be a lot easier. Healing them didn't even make me tired, back when I first started. It's... [ he hesitates, then: ] You saw what happened on the sand steamer. It's tough to even talk to them, these days.

[ there are other signs, too. the way his hair has gone steadily darker, the way his wounds seem to take longer and longer to heal. the fact that sometimes his food comes back up in a tarry, black ichor that always smells of rotting earth. but none of it seems like it's reached a critical point, so he mostly just pushes any worry about it down and away.

a crooked smile. ] Don't worry. I've gotten this far. Pretty sure I'll make it to see you grey and wrinkled.

s'all I can ask. We do what we gotta do, right?

[ Even if that sounds like a yes. Even if he thinks maybe this world isn't worth the loss of Vash, if that's what it takes to keep it running. After all his big talk about choosing for himself, he can hardly try and take this choice away from Vash.

What he can do - and does - is kiss him. It's a soft thing, slow, more about appreciating the fact that it's all out and they're both still here that the usual want. Keeps that hand on the side of Vash's face and lets the other stroke over him, through his hair and against the side of his neck, trailing down over his heart. They're a pair of tragic fuckers up against impossible odds. What else is there to do? ]

[ it's good. and after today, when he'd been so sure this was something he couldn't let himself have, his own desperation won't let him keep it soft and slow for long. he tangles a hand into wolfwood's hair as he deepens the kiss, pouring everything into it -- all the heartwrenching terror of nearly losing him, all the relief at still having him here, all his gratitude for wolfwood's acceptance, all of his love for this man stupid and crazy enough to love him back.

he breaks the kiss only once his lungs are screaming at him for a proper breath, and there's one more thing he needs to make clear, but. he can't make himself move away, trailing little kisses along wolfwood's jaw in between words. ] I'm going to July to try to stop him. Knives.

I... don't know if I can. [ all this time, while vash has been getting weaker, knives has only gotten stronger. but he shakes his head, leaning up to bump their foreheads together. ] If I can, it means you'll be free. The orphanage will be safe.

[ and then, voice intent: ] I hope it means you never have to pick up a gun again, Nico.

[ It's so easy to get swept up in it, to match everything Vash puts into the kiss. The day's been straight from hell, but he's never loved Vash more. And then he breaks it to speak and Wolfwood's hit with a spike of fear - and just as quickly, resolution. ]

I'm staying with you. Doing whatever I can to make sure you get there, and get out alive.

[ He huffs a laugh. ]

There're only two things I'm good at. Killing, and getting you off. If you take away the first thing and croak while you're doing it, the fuck am I supposed to do for the rest of my life?

[ that actually gets a laugh in return, and the first hints of a smile -- a real one. ]

You're not an old enough dog to use that as an excuse.

Besides, [ carding his fingers through wolfwood's bangs, pushing them back so he can plant a kiss on his forehead. ] He doesn't want to kill me. I think... [ a pause, brow knitting slightly. this is more of a creeping suspicion than anything else, but. ] ... he has a last resort. But it's not death.

[ he might not be here, but he wouldn't be gone. no point going into specifics, though. if the eye of michael asked wolfwood to speed that end along, it'd just make it harder to pull the trigger.

okay! haven't they had enough of the grim stuff? ] But that's the worst-case scenario! We shouldn't plan on that one.

[ It's a goddamn relief to hear it from Vash that Knives doesn't want to kill him. He's been pretty sure, but there's always that sliver of doubt. And Vash almost smiling just takes it over the edge. This shitshow of a day might turn out good yet. ]

Right. Plan A is still we both live until I'm too old to make you come anymore.

Gonna be a few fun years there after I lose all my teeth, huh? So much less to think about when I'm sucking you off.

[ That's gross, but he grins. Still kinda wants it. ]

Wha --?

[ okay, finally, there's the laugh. almost like it's startled out of him before he can help it (it is), but it's clearly the real deal. ] No way, that's awful!

[ Mission accomplished. Vash laughs, and it's like medicine. The gloom lifts. They've got a hard road ahead of them, but they've also got right now. ]

Ah, come on, Tongari. You wouldn't deny an old man one of his few joys in life, would you?

[ He kisses Vash again, though it's a quick and messy thing because he's laughing too. Threads fingers into his hair and sends the other hand down to the waistband of his pants, clearly full of ill-intent. ]

Mind you, I can't count on losing 'em. I knew this broad, old as dirt. Musta smoked about forty cigarettes a day, drank more whiskey than water, wouldn't eat anything that didn't have frosting on it. Still had all her teeth. I better keep practicing, just in case.

[ kissing wolfwood before was good, but somehow? this is even better. being able to kiss him while they're both laughing, able to make stupid jokes even after everything they'd talked about before.

they're still here, they're still alive, and somehow? impossibly? they're still in love. ]

You really think you'll wanna be with me that long? [ just thinking about it makes him feel giddy, half-drunk from being happy. dipping in for another one of those quick kisses, smiling against his mouth. ]

I know it. You're cute, you're funny. You make me happy. You give good enough hugs that I forget I've got a fuckin' image to maintain and stop pretending I don't like hugs.

[ Another kiss, just because they can. Because they've been through it, physically and emotionally, and they still can. ]

Plus, you got the good stuff. If you save the world and leave me, the next time I get someone's pants off - after a good ten, fifteen years of groveling and trying to get you back - I'm gonna be sitting there thinking "is that it?"

Guess that means I know what I've gotta keep doing!

[ being cute, making wolfwood laugh, making him happy, and giving good hugs.

oh, and having weird genitals? none of that is any particular hardship.

he dips in for another kiss, letting this one linger a little longer. ]

Just hope you never run into anyone with more going on down there than me. I'll get jealous.

I'll never know. No reason to go looking.

[ And hey, if we're letting the kisses linger now... another one, and this time his cups his hand at the back of Vash's neck and licks teasingly into his mouth. Sure, they're joking around, but he nearly died today. Can you blame him for wanting to do the thing that makes him feel most alive? ]

You're the whole damn package.

Yeah?

[ vash beams at him, still flushed from that kiss. just hearing it is enough to make him warm all over — that, somehow, even with everything vash is lacking, he’s still all that wolfwood needs.

it’s a wonderfully sweet sentiment, and it deserves a response in kind. unfortunately, wolfwood has decided to fall for a gremlin, so. there’s no warning before vash flips them, pressing wolfwood down into the mattress and straddling his hips. the only warning for what he’s about to say is the devious look in his eyes, the grin on his mouth: ]

Special delivery! [ and then he grinds his hips down against the bulge in wolfwood’s jeans with a low moan. ]

[ What the fuck ]

I didn't order this!

[ Grumpy as he can make it sound. Which isn't very, considering he's grabbing Vash by the hips and pressing back up against him. You might have thought that between the trauma of the day, the blood loss, and the grim-ass conversation it'd take him longer to get hard.

You'd be wrong. ]

I ain't sending it back, though. Mine now.

[ vash has just enough time for a laugh, and then wolfwood is grabbing his hips and rocking back up into him, and the sound tapers away into a groan. it’s impossible not to try and repeat the motion, his next exhale shuddering out of him as heat blooms upwards from his core. ]

You sure? [ there’s still a hint of teasing in his voice, but the smoke of want is unmistakable. ] The way you feel inside me, the way you fill me up…

Hard to believe I wasn’t meant for you all along.

Oh, fuck.

[ He really is just as dangerous as they say. Just not the way people think. Vash talks like that, and Wolfwood thinks there isn't a damn thing he wouldn't do for him. The tease in his voice, the heat, the way he rocks over him like that and reminds him just how good it feels.

He tries to use the hands on Vash's hips to guide him into doing it again, loving the feel of it. But - fuck, nobody should be so hot they make you forget about bullet holes. He slips one of his hands up over Vash's stomach, soft and careful. ]

How're you doing? [ Faintly apologetic. ] I know we're pretending they're not there, but if it's gonna hurt you...

[ vash sighs out a pleased little sound as wolfwood guides him through another slow roll of his hips, practically purring at the wave of heat that spills through him.

but the question makes him blink, refocusing, and then he gives a quick little shake of his head. funny how easily he can do this now -- even a month ago, the gesture would have made him stumble. but he reaches down and tugs his shirt up and over his head, tossing it carelessly to the side. the freshest of the bullet holes have already scabbed up, and the oldest already look like weeks-old scars. ]

See? All good. [ teasing, but his smile is fond. ] You must have love's healing touch.

[ He wolf-whistles as Vash strips off his shirt, pleased to see the damage is damn near healed. And maybe there's a little flicker when Vash says love's healing touch, a little reminder of the trade he's making - but aren't they all making tradeoffs every day? Isn't everyone balancing what they have to do to survive with what they have to do to live with themselves all the time?

What he needs right now is to go with it. Celebrate the fact that he lived, the fact that everything's out now and they're still here, in love. Cling to the joy they can find in each other, because it's better fuel for what they need to do than food or water. Sure, they could survive. Why settle for that when they can live?.

He skims his hands up over Vash's torso, fingers fanned like he's trying to cover as much area as he can, get as much of Vash as he can. And then he wraps those hands, tilts his hips up to tip Vash forward, and pulls him down into a kiss. ]

Good. 'cause I want you.

[ the wolf-whistle makes his cheeks go a little pinker, but there’s no instinctive flinch to cover up the way there might’ve once been. instead, he leans into that touch, soaking up the affection he can feel like a flower tipping its face up to the sun.

and then wolfwood is tugging him down, and vash goes willingly, responding eagerly to that kiss. physical affection is something that’s never gotten old — if vash had to guess, he doesn’t think it ever will. ]

Want you too. Always do. [ and he’s trying to get better at being bold enough to ask directly for what he wants, because wolfwood’s response always makes it clear that he likes it. ] But, if you’re still a little worried, I don’t mind letting you put in the work.

[ maybe he should specify how do you feel about me sitting on your face?, but he’s pretty confident he already knows the answer. ]

I dunno. Seeing you up there's got me all excited for it.

[ He still thinks very fondly of the time in the desert Vash had just ridden him until something happened - the way it seemed to spark something wild and frantic in Vash, they way it had felt to be on the receiving end of that. He'd like to try and get there again, but that sounds like a request for -

oh. Ohoho. ]

I always heard making a relationship work long-term takes compromise.

How about you take off those pants and sit on my face, handsome?

[ talk about side benefits to a guy who can read you like a billboard. just hearing wolfwood say it is enough to send another bright flare of heat blooming up from vash's core, and it takes him approximately 0.2 seconds before he's scrambling to obey. it turns out that it's tricky to get rid of your pants when you're straddling someone, but it's an area where long legs come in handy, and vash has got a surplus on those.

then it's just a matter of walking himself up on his knees until he's hovering above wolfwood's face, taking care where he places the prosthetics and bracing himself with one hand on the headboard. he's already wet, the petals of his cunt just starting to bloom, already dewy with excitement. ]

Like, uh, this? [ you don't actually sit on someone's face, right? what if you... smother them? ]

[ Oh, that's one hell of a view. Long, long legs either side of his face, the petals of Vash's pussy like he's never seen them before - a beautiful half-bloomed state, already glistening, showing his anticipation ]

Nuh-uh. Down. Sit. I can breathe through my nose. And if I forget, at least I go out happy.

[ His fingers itch to touch, but the idea of getting Vash to bloom all the way with his mouth is so fucking hot he fastens his hands on Vash's hips instead, gives a little downward tug. ]

[ he chokes on a laugh, mostly because down and sit makes it sound like he's a dog about to perform a trick, but. after another moment of hesitation, he can't bear it. wolfwood is plenty strong enough to drag the punisher around like it's nothing, so vash figures he can always throw him off if he really needs to.

so, he sits. and even that first contact is enough to make him whine out a needy little sound, struggling to keep still and not grind his hips down. ]

[ Fuck yes. Vash sits, presses the flower of his cunt against Wolfwood's mouth, and Wolfwood opens to it greedily. Lips grazing those petals, tongue coming out to lap over them. He'll never get sick of that taste; enough like a pussy to remind him what he's doing, sweetly floral enough to be unmistakably Vash. It's good, even better when he feels the way those petals respond to the drag of his tongue.

Beautiful. Even if he didn't have things he needed to protect, even if he didn't love Vash and everything about him, this alone would be worth staying for. ]

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