the bloodlust's a clusterfuck

[vacabdication]

[ Pagan Min has existed for 458 years, and been dead for 437 of them. And in all that time, he’s never quite got the hang of resisting temptation.

He’s having the fucking devil of a time resisting Ajay.

They’ve been carving out a sort of friendship in the time since Ajay apparently decided against making Pagan’s death final – heart staked, head cut off, pieces left in the sun to burn to ash and all that jazz. Pagan has managed to shuffle his undeniable attraction to the man into the background of that, and the desire to taste him goes neatly with it. Ajay isn’t food. But the more time they spend with one another the louder his desire becomes, all of it twined together. Sex, blood, companionship. And it certainly doesn’t bloody help matters that he’s by now fairly sure that Ajay is curious.

Pagan had got a whiff of it the first time his staff had brought him some volunteers when Ajay was in the room. Pagan had called for dinner for Ajay, and they’d brought up platters of more food than one man even of Ajay’s appetite could hope to eat alone, along with three attractive young hopefuls. Pagan had dismissed them with a wave of his hand and one – a young man who Pagan has not fed from previously but is aware has been angling for a spot for some time – exploded into protest that it wasn’t fair. There was a bit of a kerfuffle about that, gasps and an outburst of sharp Kyrati from the attendants, but Pagan had seen the look on Ajay’s face. Relief that Pagan wouldn’t be feeding in front of him all threaded through with an interest in just how piqued the young man had been. Pagan won’t read Ajay’s mind – a minor courtesy – but he hadn’t needed to.

It presents itself again when Ajay drops in unannounced one day. Pagan has just finished feeding, and the woman who offered her blood is clearly in a state similar to post-coital bliss. A willing bite doesn’t always result in orgasm, but Pagan thinks it’s only polite to provide given that’s what most of them seem to expect. Ajay enters the room just as Pagan is healing her bite wound and giving her a fond pat on the hand, and he can hear the way Ajay’s pulse ticks slightly upward when the woman sleepily croons thank you, thank you before the attendants guide her away on wobbly legs. Pagan has never been the sort to derive any pleasure from forcing the issue and that had tempered his want, but knowing that Ajay is wondering about it sets him aflame.

Tonight, they’re tucked up on a couch in Pagan’s library, poring over an old vampire-hunting text the way a pair of friends might choose to watch a shitty horror film together. Pagan running a finger along the page saying no, no, that’s absolute fucking bollocks and Ajay laughing his sweet husky laugh and being mostly careful only to stare at Pagan when Pagan isn’t staring back. It’s a delight to find the attraction is mutual, and Pagan is carefully trying to select the right time to accidentally meet Ajay’s warm gaze in the hopes of advancing matters when there’s a bloody knock on the door.

Dinnertime. Of course. Pagan is regrettably sharp with his no thank you, not now (the last thing he wants to do in the middle of this tentative almost-courtship is remind Ajay Ghale, son of the Golden Path’s most famous vampire killers, that Pagan is a blood-drinking monster) before he catches himself and turns to Ajay. ]

But what about you, my boy? Have you eaten? I’ll have something brought up, anything you like.

Comments

[vaaris]

[ oh.

maybe he shouldn't be surprised! after all, he was the one who escalated things so suddenly with that kiss. but it still flusters him a little when pagan suddenly moves to tug off his jacket and peel away his shirt, and ajay is left flushed and blinking for a moment before that little explanation clears things up.

but that's... tender in a way that makes his heart do a stupid little flutter in his chest. it shouldn't be a surprise, not when he knows pagan cares about him, but. somehow it is, and now that they're in a situation that ajay can't just barge headlong into, there's enough room for a little shyness to kick in. ]

How --? Uh, I mean... [ should he just... climb in pagan's lap? is that the best position? maybe he should have asked a few questions. ]

[vacabdication]

Here.

[ It's simple enough to shift their positions so that Pagan is leaning against the arm of the couch, and Ajay leaning against him, back-to-chest. He'd love to be able to see Ajay's face but the position his head will be in precludes it, and it's almost certainly too much to try and convince Ajay to relocate to somewhere there's a mirror. This way Pagan can hold him, feel the weight of Ajay's body against his own. He shifts his leg so that Ajay is seated between the spread of his thighs, and he can't resist the urge to trail a hand down the firm plane of Ajay's chest once he's settled. ]

You can lean against me. I won't take enough to make you feel faint from blood loss, but if I do this right it should leave you at least a little inclined to swooning.

[ Maybe when he's asking Ajay to trust him this way it's not the time to inject a little note of mischief into his voice, but there it is. ]

[vaaris]

[ it's... surprisingly nice? easier than he thought it would be to just let himself settle back against pagan, and there's an immediate feeling of safety when pagan reaches up to wrap his arms around him. it's like they fit together, like this is what they were meant to be doing, and he arches up into that trailing touch with a pleased little sigh. ]

You can -- [ a little pause, because it's a weird thing to try and say. ] I mean, I don't want to be the only one getting something out of this. [ and then, smaller, shyly: ] I trust you. You can take what you need.

[vacabdication]

Oh, I'll get plenty from this, believe me.

[ Truthfully, he doesn't need to feed daily. He does, because small amounts often makes for healthy and happy donors, but if Ajay were to change his mind and walk out right now the only way Pagan would suffer would be with longing. He dips his head, brushes his lips softly against Ajay's throat. ]

But thank you. For trusting me.

[ This time the movement of his mouth against Ajay's throat is undeniably a kiss. Lingering and warm before he strokes his tongue there, lapping gently over the skin. It's already good; warm and clean, the slightest hint of salt. He reaches down to find Ajay's hand, threads their fingers together in an intimacy he never shares when it's just about feeding. And then, he bites.

It's wonderful. The taste of it is instant, rich and hot over his tongue, but more important is the feeling of it. That indescribable essence of it, the feeling of taking something of Ajay into himself. Something willingly given, offered in trust and desire, a vital part of Ajay. He's hard almost instantly. And because they've spoken of it, because Ajay knows what to expect, Pagan does nothing to mute the power in himself that makes this taking feel good. There's no need for propriety here; there's a part of him that wants to make Ajay feel so good he'll think of this for years, and Pagan lets it. ]

[vaaris]

[ it's hard to brace yourself for something when you're not exactly sure what's coming. but ajay still tries! after all, no matter how good this feels, it'd be nice not to make an idiot out of himself in front of pagan right away.

so he takes a breath, gives pagan's hand a little squeeze when the other man threads their fingers together, and then --

well. as it turns out, nothing could have prepared him for the way it actually feels.

pagan sinks his fangs into ajay's throat, and the feeling hits him like a truck. instantly, any thought of holding back on his reaction is lost -- ajay arches up with a ragged moan, instantly so hard that the pressure of his jeans is enough to hurt. it feels like his veins are full of electric fire, and every nerve ending in his body is singing with an overload of sensation. it's like nothing else he's ever experienced; no drug even comes close.

fuck, okay, maybe he gets why pagan's little entourage fights over who gets to do this. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Oh, that's good. He'd told Ajay he's perfection, and this only cements it; he's so beatifully reponsive so quickly, the sound he makes enough to tell him that even if Pagan couldn't taste it. He's enjoying this, and that's wonderful.

He meant it when he said he didn't want to take so much blood he'd make Ajay feel faint, so he's slow with it. Hardly a challenge; Ajay feels so incredible that Pagan's instinct is to savour it rather than glut himself. It's slow, rhythmic, the sucking interspersed with lapping gently at Ajay's neck, his tongue gliding over the wound of his bite to let the taste of Ajay spread slowly through his mouth. It's a very romantic idea to attach the taste of the blood to desirable qualities, to read into it like wine, but the fact of the matter is all blood is good, and it's usually very much just blood. But there's something extra in blood shared between those who desire one another, and something else again in Ajay. Enough to make Pagan wonder briefly if he's not everything the Golden Path claim he is - powerful, the son of a Goddess, fated.

Pagan moans with it, and strokes over Ajay's body with the hand that isn't clutching at Ajay's own like a lifeline. He wants very much to take Ajay in hand and stroke his dick, but for his first time it would be a terrible shame not to let him experience it just as it is; a connection so intricate, so powerful, that such crude methods are unnecessary.

After all, if Pagan does his job right now, there'll be ample time to explore every inch of Ajay just as he pleases. Sadly the realization doesn't stop him from rocking gently against the larger man, the way they're positioned meaning Ajay's weight is bearing rather delightfully against Pagan's cock. ]

[vaaris]

[ it's... a lot. and maybe he'd be a little pissed at pagan for not warning him, except it's obvious that there aren't words for this.

pagan moans against his throat, and ajay isn't even sure if he's imagining the way the blaze of pleasure at his core seems to burn even more brightly in response. he's helpless to stop the little whine that comes spilling up out of him, arching into the touch pagan trails down his body. it's almost hard to wrap his mind around, this pleasure that burns through every inch of him without centering itself in any of the usual places. like all of him is suddenly flushed and equally sensitive, even though instinct still has him roll his hips up mindlessly into nothing. ]

Pagan -- Oh, fuck --

[vacabdication]

[ Really, it's a crime that his mouth is too occupied to tell Ajay just how magnificent he is. But if he stops the wound will sting unless he heals it, and moreover he doesn't want to stop. Not until he's taken Ajay all the way. If they only do this once, he wants to be sure it's the best experience of Ajay's life - and he damn well wants to make sure he comes. He hadn't asked, but he rather gets the impression that doing so would have embarrassed Ajay enough to shut the whole thing down. And it would be cruel to tell him it was a possibility and then not let him experience it, no?

Ajay feels so good that there's a non-zero possibility that Pagan may come himself. There's something electric about him, and every glide Pagan's tongue makes over the bite to lap at that blood brings a new wave of it. A shining thing, all-encompassing, like they're one being entirely composed of pleasure. The way Ajay's hips rock means he's moving against Pagan's dick, an added layer to the bliss of it. He brings that wandering hand up to lay Against Ajay's face, stroking over hs cheek and down over the other side of his throat. Lets the small sounds of pleasure he makes bloom and muffle themselves against Ajay's skin. He should know. He should know how wonderful he is, how unique, how perfect. And Pagan can do that, too - to open himself to Ajay, let him feel what Pagan feels in this moment. Every ounce of pleasure, every drop of adoration. All that and more wouldn't be sufficient reward for how incredible he tastes. ]

[vaaris]

[ it's like something shifts, and everything fucking intensifies.

like his pleasure isn't just his own, it's pagan's, too -- and he doesn't even know how he knows that, but his brain is way too shot for the question. ajay's never come like this before; all but untouched, nothing but pagan's mouth on his throat and his hand stroking gently over his skin, but fuck. there's also no doubt in his mind that he's abso-fucking-lutely about to, and maybe he'd be embarrassed about that if all of his brain cells weren't shorting out and overheating.

he whines, low and senseless, nearly a plea in the face of this much wonderfully overwhelming sensation. human beings weren't fucking meant for this, but there's also a part of him firmly rooted in the trust that pagan won't let it be too much. won't less this consume him, burn him up, will lovingly piece him back together after he makes ajay come to pieces in his arms. it's a weird sort of faith, born of no proof but gut instinct, and somehow all the more solid for it.

but there's also really no time or space to marvel at that. because another little fruitless rock of his hips, a desperate arch -- and he's coming, hard enough to see stars behind his squeezed-shut lids, voice breaking around another sound that tries to shape itself into pagan's name. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Beautiful. Just beautiful.

If it were only the sound Ajay makes, desperate pleasure and what sounds very much like it might have been Pagan's name, that would be enough. If it were just the taste of him and the way it grows sweeter and richer with his orgasm, that would be a gift. But the marvel that is Ajay continues to be truly unique, and Pagan feels it when Ajay comes. The absolute magic of it, lighting up every nerve, making him gasp and moan against Ajay's skin. Bliss.

He tries to be a gentleman about it. When he's clear enough, he strokes gently over Ajay's skin, lets a hand come up to stroke his hair as Pagan finally breaks the seal of his mouth over Ajay's throat. Nips a finger with a fang so he can use a drop of his own blood to close the wound before he puts his mouth there again, kissing now, murmuring sweet against Ajay's skin. ]

Beautiful boy. Oh, my dear. You were wonderful.

[vaaris]

[ it takes... a long few moments to come back online after that.

but when he does? it's to pagan's arms around him, one hand stroking through his hair, murmuring sweet things against his throat. and that has a way of stretching those good feelings out -- gauzy now instead of burning brightly, floating pleasantly in the haze of afterglow. ]

Wow. Holy shit. [ even his voice sounds muzzy, like someone trying to come up from a long sleep. ] You do that to everyone?

[ it's a small wonder the entire country hasn't ripped itself apart just trying to get pagan to bite them. how does the golden path even recruit? ]

[vacabdication]

Not everyone.

[ Is that too much to admit? Too overbearing to tell Ajay that Pagan gave it everything he had, because Ajay is special to him? It would certainly be too much to process, Pagan thinks, to drop the fact that at least part of that was because of Ajay on him right now. It takes all sorts to make up a world so there probably is someone out there who enjoys being hit with a mystery about themselves immediately post-nut, but Pagan has a suspicion that person is not Ajay.

Instead he lets the kisses drift up from Ajay's throat, presses one against his cheek before he guides Ajay's head back to rest against his shoulder. Hooks a leg around one of Ajay's too. Unless he has seriously misjudged his abilities there's likely a mess Ajay would probably like to attend to in the near future and Pagan's erection is probably not the most comfortable thing to rest on, but for now? Pagan wants to soak up as much of this closeness as he can.

Fuck, if Ajay decides he doesn't want to do this again Pagan's doomed himself. Nothing will ever be as good. He'd better hoard it while he's sure he can. ]

[vaaris]

Good.

[ if he wasn't so pleasantly fuzzy, he'd probably ask himself if he should be saying this. but as it is? pagan pulls him closer, tangles their legs together, and everything feels so right and wonderful and lovely in the world that ajay forgets to censor all the dumb shit his mouth can conjure up. ] So it wouldn't be weird if I told you I kinda only want you to do that with me?

[vacabdication]

[ He laughs. But it's a quiet thing, warm against Ajay's skin.

He'd tried to prepare for this. Remembered that back when he ate, sometimes it was quite nice to have a bowl of simple congee rather than a rich meal. But if someone had come to him and told him he could choose to eat nothing but a king's banquet for the rest of his life, he wouldn't have been sad to say goodbye to the congee. He'll confirm later, when Ajay isn't dealing with the post-bite high and blood loss both, but for now? It's a lovely thought. He lifts Ajay's hand to his mouth, brushes a kiss against his knuckles. ]

Not at all. That's one adjustment it would be an absolute pleasure to make.

[vaaris]

[ ajay’s never been the jealous type. and this is a hell of a weird way to start, getting all twisted up in the idea of pagan doing that to someone else, but. it still sends a warm little current of pleasure through him, hearing the easy way pagan tells him he’d do it. like whatever ajay has is good enough to make it worth the effort.

he turns his head, making a pleased little sound when that lets him nuzzle up under pagan’s jaw. ]

Would it be like that if…? [ but he can’t quite get the rest of the question out. angles towards it a slightly different way, instead. ] I mean, Yuma Lau tried, once. Kind of seemed more like it was going to the be the stuff of nightmares than of wet dreams.

[vacabdication]

[ Pagan stiffens slightly at that name. Yuma had been his dearest friend and closest ally in life. A sister, really. The only person who'd persisted in seeking him out after he'd been turned. And once he'd fully realized that she would grow old and die before his eyes, he'd turned her too, unwilling to lose her. They'd built quite the reputation for themselves, known for a time as twin demons despite the fact that anyone with eyes could see they weren't twins - but then again, not many people who had seen them lived to tell the tale. But Pagan had outgrown that, and Yuma never had. She remains enchanted with the damage she can wreak upon a human body in a way that Pagan finds... distasteful.

Yuma Lau is his oldest friend, his staunchest ally, and his greatest mistake. ]

You did well to avoid it. All vampires can bring pleasure, if they choose to. Yuma... doesn't choose to very often, as I understand it.

[ But that's not quite what Ajay was asking, from the sound of the way he started the question. Even if Pagan is now somewhat preoccupied with the jealous spark he feels at the thought of anyone else biting Ajay. Perhaps a more detailed answer is in order, for Ajay's curiosity as well as Pagan's mood. ]

We can make it good for anyone. Whether they want it or not, I'm afraid to say. It's better when both parties are willing, better still when they're willing and genuinely attracted to one another. All our abilities grow with age and power, and I imagine this is no different. But for you...

I wanted it to be something special for you. You'll have to excuse the bragging, but it sounded like I managed. And it's very rarely that good for me.

[vaaris]

[ it’s a lot to turn over in his head, especially with a solid seventy-five percent of his brain cells still in a sizzling heap, but. ajay thinks he manages to pick out the most important bits.

stay far away from yuma lau? no problem there.

and whatever just happened? it was special. not just for him, but for pagan, and that seems to hold even more weight against all of pagan’s relative experience. it makes something bloom in ajay’s chest, pleased and warm, and he snuggles himself back into pagan with a sound that’s nearly a purr. ]

… so does that mean —? [ trailing off shyly for a long moment before finding the rest of his nerve. it shouldn’t be that hard to ask! they started off this whole thing by making out, and that has to mean something, right? but. ] I mean, if you just wanted this to be about… uh, feeding, I get it, but…

… if you wanted more than that, I’d be, uh. Cool? With that.

[ suave. ]

[vacabdication]

[ Oh

That was fast!

Not that it's a bad thing. It's long been a puzzle to Pagan that despite how brief mortal lives are, they spend a great deal of time fucking about when it comes to matters of the heart. Dithering over whether they should ask someone to be with them as if the embarrassment of being rejected would stay with them for the remainder of their inconsequential sixty or seventy years. It's easier for his kind, he thinks; if it's another vampire, you've got eternity to get over it. And if it's a human you'd better shake a fucking leg because before you know it, they're in the grave and you've missed your shot.

Still, it's a little entertaining that he's asking. Pagan really should have considered that Ajay had zero basis for comparison before he assumed that what just happened would be a sufficient declaration of Pagan's desires and affection. He doesn't roll out the psychic pleasure red carpet for snacks. ]

That would be [ and Ajay almost definitely doesn't need to see Pagan's face to know that he's grinning ] very cool.

[vaaris]

Shut up.

[ but he’s grinning, too. stupidly giddy, like he’s a teenager that just asked their crush out to prom instead of a full grown man propositioning an ancient (can pagan read minds?) and terrifying eldritch horror. ]

Before you make fun of my game, you should remember that it obviously worked on you, so.

[vacabdication]

Oh, it did. It did. I am completely and utterly smitten.

[ He's still grinning, but he means every word he says. Turns his face so he can pepper little kisses into Ajay's hair and breathe him in. How unique this boy is, how precious. He strokes a hand over Ajay's chest, enjoying the thump of his heart, the warmth of his skin, the swell of muscle at his pectorals. And it's genuinely idle exploration rather than any kind of ploy when he starts rubbing his thumb slowly over a nipple as he says: ]

You should move in. Let me make you my companion officially. Yuma and the Golden Path won't be particularly happy, and it would offer you a measure of protection.

But mostly because I want you to.

[vaaris]

[ oh.

it’s impossible not to notice that thumb pagan is using to tease his nipple, especially with his system still buzzing from the effects of whatever pagan just did to him. it’s why he can’t stop himself from squirming, even though he’s trying to keep his voice steady when he answers. ]

W-Wow. [ a little laugh. Do you ask everyone to move in after one dinner date, or?

[vacabdication]

Definitely or.

[ He should probably tone things down a little for this conversation. He doesn't. His thumb keep doing what it's doing, he keeps nosing little kisses into Ajay's hair, his leg stays twined around one of Ajay's. ]

Mortal lives are so brief. Blinking in and out, like fireflies. But you, Ajay - you're a meteor shower. Bright and beautiful. Can you blame me for not wanting to miss a moment?

[vaaris]

[ there’s a breathless little laugh, and maybe his next squirm ends up rocking right up against where pagan is still pressed up hard against him. ]

Did you just say you want to fuck me extra hard because I have an expiration date?

[vacabdication]

More or less.

[ It's a little ragged, because that press was delicious. But when he says more or less he definitely means more. To fuck, yes, to bring him all the pleasure his mortal shell can take, but to revel in him. To adore him. To bask in his presence, savoring every stammered question and nerdy laugh and sweet moment pressed against his fragile human skin.

To love him, and be loved in return.]

[vaaris]

So maybe, uh, we should relocate?

[ if ajay was suave, he would have gone with something more along the lines of take me to bed.

ajay is not suave. ]