pagan min (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
vacabdication) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fourstrings2022-11-15 07:52 pm
vacabdication) wrote in fourstrings2022-11-15 07:52 pm
the bloodlust's a clusterfuck
[ Pagan Min has existed for 458 years, and been dead for 437 of them. And in all that time, he’s never quite got the hang of resisting temptation.
He’s having the fucking devil of a time resisting Ajay.
They’ve been carving out a sort of friendship in the time since Ajay apparently decided against making Pagan’s death final – heart staked, head cut off, pieces left in the sun to burn to ash and all that jazz. Pagan has managed to shuffle his undeniable attraction to the man into the background of that, and the desire to taste him goes neatly with it. Ajay isn’t food. But the more time they spend with one another the louder his desire becomes, all of it twined together. Sex, blood, companionship. And it certainly doesn’t bloody help matters that he’s by now fairly sure that Ajay is curious.
Pagan had got a whiff of it the first time his staff had brought him some volunteers when Ajay was in the room. Pagan had called for dinner for Ajay, and they’d brought up platters of more food than one man even of Ajay’s appetite could hope to eat alone, along with three attractive young hopefuls. Pagan had dismissed them with a wave of his hand and one – a young man who Pagan has not fed from previously but is aware has been angling for a spot for some time – exploded into protest that it wasn’t fair. There was a bit of a kerfuffle about that, gasps and an outburst of sharp Kyrati from the attendants, but Pagan had seen the look on Ajay’s face. Relief that Pagan wouldn’t be feeding in front of him all threaded through with an interest in just how piqued the young man had been. Pagan won’t read Ajay’s mind – a minor courtesy – but he hadn’t needed to.
It presents itself again when Ajay drops in unannounced one day. Pagan has just finished feeding, and the woman who offered her blood is clearly in a state similar to post-coital bliss. A willing bite doesn’t always result in orgasm, but Pagan thinks it’s only polite to provide given that’s what most of them seem to expect. Ajay enters the room just as Pagan is healing her bite wound and giving her a fond pat on the hand, and he can hear the way Ajay’s pulse ticks slightly upward when the woman sleepily croons thank you, thank you before the attendants guide her away on wobbly legs. Pagan has never been the sort to derive any pleasure from forcing the issue and that had tempered his want, but knowing that Ajay is wondering about it sets him aflame.
Tonight, they’re tucked up on a couch in Pagan’s library, poring over an old vampire-hunting text the way a pair of friends might choose to watch a shitty horror film together. Pagan running a finger along the page saying no, no, that’s absolute fucking bollocks and Ajay laughing his sweet husky laugh and being mostly careful only to stare at Pagan when Pagan isn’t staring back. It’s a delight to find the attraction is mutual, and Pagan is carefully trying to select the right time to accidentally meet Ajay’s warm gaze in the hopes of advancing matters when there’s a bloody knock on the door.
Dinnertime. Of course. Pagan is regrettably sharp with his no thank you, not now (the last thing he wants to do in the middle of this tentative almost-courtship is remind Ajay Ghale, son of the Golden Path’s most famous vampire killers, that Pagan is a blood-drinking monster) before he catches himself and turns to Ajay. ]
But what about you, my boy? Have you eaten? I’ll have something brought up, anything you like.
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that kind of implies pagan's hoping to get a hell of a lot more out of this little flirtation than just the chance to snack on ajay, right? and sure, okay, maybe that was obvious! but those two little words just bring it home all over again, and --
... ugh. he's gotta change topics here before his face combusts. ]
Uh, hey, so. If I let you... y'know. It's not going to make me a vampire, right? I mean, no offense, but I'm okay just being a human.
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[ Well, that does the trick. It's a sobering thought. Being reminded that Ajay as he is - beautiful and complicated and sweet - is so very impermanent. Sad, but it deflates Pagan's rising ardor enough for him to feel a bit less like he's going to pop a boner and send Ajay running for the hills. ]
I would have to drink all of your blood, and then feed you mine. It's not something that happens accidentally. Otherwise there'd be vampires all over the bloody place, and as a general rule we're far too dramatic for that to be appealing.
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... it kind of gives more meaning to everything, right? the fact that you're only given a short window to take in as much as you can, that you're only here for a little bit.
or, fuck. something like that. he's not exactly a philosopher.
and that mostly settles things, except: ] ... and you never get carried away? Drink more than you meant to?
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[ That's true now, but it still feels... dishonest. ]
I have done, when I was very young. It's an easy mistake for the freshly-turned to make, when blood is only food and they feel as though they're starving and they don't have proper guidance. Which I understand is not an excuse, but I'm torn between wanting to be honest and let you know it has happened and wanting to impress upon you that it would never happen now.
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[ it comes easy. maybe easier than it should, all things considered, but. ajay believes that pagan cares about him. even before he got off that bus for the first time, even before they got the chance to know each other again. he knows pagan cares about him in a way that's far and above this newer interest, and he trusts that it means pagan would do almost anything within his power to keep from hurting ajay.
it's surprisingly easy to build on the foundation of that trust. ]
I guess it just seemed like the smart thing to ask. Y'know, before I told you to go for it.
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[ It is. It's especially impressive since Ajay seems to have a knack for just walking into dangerous situations. And Pagan would love to admire it fully, except now he's all a-flutter at the suggestion that Ajay is considering telling him to go for it. ]
If this is something you were to choose, I want you to feel as safe and comfortable as possible. Fully armed with all the information. No question is off-limits.
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[ or remember why upsetting the existing balance between them might be a bad thing. whatever. ]
Maybe you should just do it.
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[ It should be thrilling. Ajay has all but invited him. And it is, but -
he wants to be sure. He wants to know Ajay wants this, and is okay with it, and won't regret it afterwards. ]
I value your company, Ajay. I'm not willing to risk it to satisfy my own desires on maybe. If you want this, I'll do it gladly and do my very best to make it incredible for you. But I have to know that you do want it before I'll try.
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...
oh. wait.
which is why he leans in, grabs two fistfuls of pagan's jacket, and crushes their mouths together into a searing kiss. ]
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and then leans back for a moment, speaking quietly, warmly. ]
Careful, now.
[ And when he moves back into the kiss he opens his mouth, tongue seeking Ajay's hungrily. Careful of the fangs, he means - it's one thing to give oneself over to the sinking pleasure of a willing bite, and another entirely to slice your tongue open on a fang. But it's good, so good, and he lifts a hand to sink his fingers into Ajay's hair. ]
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there's something heady about finally getting a payoff for all the flirting, the teasing, all the glances stolen when they're halfway sure the other person isn't looking. ]
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The hand in Ajay's hair tightens just a little, fingertips brushing against scalp. His other hand comes to rest at the side of Ajay's neck, Pagan's thumb stroking there, over the steady thump of his pulse. So beautiful. So alive. ]
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he licks his lips idly, still feeling the tingle from the bruising pressure of pagan's mouth so recently pressed against his. but that thumb stroking idly at the side of his neck reminds him that there's something else they both want to get out of this, and he leans into the touch in a kind of silent encouragement. ]
That clear things up enough for you?
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[ Breathed, though it's on half a laugh. He could point out that making out and sharing blood are two very different things, but Ajay's not foolish. His want and the way he offers himself up to that touch say everything Ajay can't put into words.
He sheds his blazer, leaves it to puddle on the floor. Reaches to do the same for Ajay's jacket, peels off the tshirt he wears beneath it. It would be polite to ask, but Ajay's already made it clear that he's got a limited tolerance for that right now - and it'll be better, skin-to-skin. Something shared between lovers rather than feeding. ]
I want you close. I want to feel your skin against mine.
[ Obvious, probably, given that he's now starting on the buttons of his own shirt. But perhaps also comforting to know that it's for the sake of closeness and not mess - Pagan is a great many things, but he's not an untidy eater. ]
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maybe he shouldn't be surprised! after all, he was the one who escalated things so suddenly with that kiss. but it still flusters him a little when pagan suddenly moves to tug off his jacket and peel away his shirt, and ajay is left flushed and blinking for a moment before that little explanation clears things up.
but that's... tender in a way that makes his heart do a stupid little flutter in his chest. it shouldn't be a surprise, not when he knows pagan cares about him, but. somehow it is, and now that they're in a situation that ajay can't just barge headlong into, there's enough room for a little shyness to kick in. ]
How --? Uh, I mean... [ should he just... climb in pagan's lap? is that the best position? maybe he should have asked a few questions. ]
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[ It's simple enough to shift their positions so that Pagan is leaning against the arm of the couch, and Ajay leaning against him, back-to-chest. He'd love to be able to see Ajay's face but the position his head will be in precludes it, and it's almost certainly too much to try and convince Ajay to relocate to somewhere there's a mirror. This way Pagan can hold him, feel the weight of Ajay's body against his own. He shifts his leg so that Ajay is seated between the spread of his thighs, and he can't resist the urge to trail a hand down the firm plane of Ajay's chest once he's settled. ]
You can lean against me. I won't take enough to make you feel faint from blood loss, but if I do this right it should leave you at least a little inclined to swooning.
[ Maybe when he's asking Ajay to trust him this way it's not the time to inject a little note of mischief into his voice, but there it is. ]
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You can -- [ a little pause, because it's a weird thing to try and say. ] I mean, I don't want to be the only one getting something out of this. [ and then, smaller, shyly: ] I trust you. You can take what you need.
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[ Truthfully, he doesn't need to feed daily. He does, because small amounts often makes for healthy and happy donors, but if Ajay were to change his mind and walk out right now the only way Pagan would suffer would be with longing. He dips his head, brushes his lips softly against Ajay's throat. ]
But thank you. For trusting me.
[ This time the movement of his mouth against Ajay's throat is undeniably a kiss. Lingering and warm before he strokes his tongue there, lapping gently over the skin. It's already good; warm and clean, the slightest hint of salt. He reaches down to find Ajay's hand, threads their fingers together in an intimacy he never shares when it's just about feeding. And then, he bites.
It's wonderful. The taste of it is instant, rich and hot over his tongue, but more important is the feeling of it. That indescribable essence of it, the feeling of taking something of Ajay into himself. Something willingly given, offered in trust and desire, a vital part of Ajay. He's hard almost instantly. And because they've spoken of it, because Ajay knows what to expect, Pagan does nothing to mute the power in himself that makes this taking feel good. There's no need for propriety here; there's a part of him that wants to make Ajay feel so good he'll think of this for years, and Pagan lets it. ]
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so he takes a breath, gives pagan's hand a little squeeze when the other man threads their fingers together, and then --
well. as it turns out, nothing could have prepared him for the way it actually feels.
pagan sinks his fangs into ajay's throat, and the feeling hits him like a truck. instantly, any thought of holding back on his reaction is lost -- ajay arches up with a ragged moan, instantly so hard that the pressure of his jeans is enough to hurt. it feels like his veins are full of electric fire, and every nerve ending in his body is singing with an overload of sensation. it's like nothing else he's ever experienced; no drug even comes close.
fuck, okay, maybe he gets why pagan's little entourage fights over who gets to do this. ]
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He meant it when he said he didn't want to take so much blood he'd make Ajay feel faint, so he's slow with it. Hardly a challenge; Ajay feels so incredible that Pagan's instinct is to savour it rather than glut himself. It's slow, rhythmic, the sucking interspersed with lapping gently at Ajay's neck, his tongue gliding over the wound of his bite to let the taste of Ajay spread slowly through his mouth. It's a very romantic idea to attach the taste of the blood to desirable qualities, to read into it like wine, but the fact of the matter is all blood is good, and it's usually very much just blood. But there's something extra in blood shared between those who desire one another, and something else again in Ajay. Enough to make Pagan wonder briefly if he's not everything the Golden Path claim he is - powerful, the son of a Goddess, fated.
Pagan moans with it, and strokes over Ajay's body with the hand that isn't clutching at Ajay's own like a lifeline. He wants very much to take Ajay in hand and stroke his dick, but for his first time it would be a terrible shame not to let him experience it just as it is; a connection so intricate, so powerful, that such crude methods are unnecessary.
After all, if Pagan does his job right now, there'll be ample time to explore every inch of Ajay just as he pleases. Sadly the realization doesn't stop him from rocking gently against the larger man, the way they're positioned meaning Ajay's weight is bearing rather delightfully against Pagan's cock. ]
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pagan moans against his throat, and ajay isn't even sure if he's imagining the way the blaze of pleasure at his core seems to burn even more brightly in response. he's helpless to stop the little whine that comes spilling up out of him, arching into the touch pagan trails down his body. it's almost hard to wrap his mind around, this pleasure that burns through every inch of him without centering itself in any of the usual places. like all of him is suddenly flushed and equally sensitive, even though instinct still has him roll his hips up mindlessly into nothing. ]
Pagan -- Oh, fuck --
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Ajay feels so good that there's a non-zero possibility that Pagan may come himself. There's something electric about him, and every glide Pagan's tongue makes over the bite to lap at that blood brings a new wave of it. A shining thing, all-encompassing, like they're one being entirely composed of pleasure. The way Ajay's hips rock means he's moving against Pagan's dick, an added layer to the bliss of it. He brings that wandering hand up to lay Against Ajay's face, stroking over hs cheek and down over the other side of his throat. Lets the small sounds of pleasure he makes bloom and muffle themselves against Ajay's skin. He should know. He should know how wonderful he is, how unique, how perfect. And Pagan can do that, too - to open himself to Ajay, let him feel what Pagan feels in this moment. Every ounce of pleasure, every drop of adoration. All that and more wouldn't be sufficient reward for how incredible he tastes. ]
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like his pleasure isn't just his own, it's pagan's, too -- and he doesn't even know how he knows that, but his brain is way too shot for the question. ajay's never come like this before; all but untouched, nothing but pagan's mouth on his throat and his hand stroking gently over his skin, but fuck. there's also no doubt in his mind that he's abso-fucking-lutely about to, and maybe he'd be embarrassed about that if all of his brain cells weren't shorting out and overheating.
he whines, low and senseless, nearly a plea in the face of this much wonderfully overwhelming sensation. human beings weren't fucking meant for this, but there's also a part of him firmly rooted in the trust that pagan won't let it be too much. won't less this consume him, burn him up, will lovingly piece him back together after he makes ajay come to pieces in his arms. it's a weird sort of faith, born of no proof but gut instinct, and somehow all the more solid for it.
but there's also really no time or space to marvel at that. because another little fruitless rock of his hips, a desperate arch -- and he's coming, hard enough to see stars behind his squeezed-shut lids, voice breaking around another sound that tries to shape itself into pagan's name. ]
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If it were only the sound Ajay makes, desperate pleasure and what sounds very much like it might have been Pagan's name, that would be enough. If it were just the taste of him and the way it grows sweeter and richer with his orgasm, that would be a gift. But the marvel that is Ajay continues to be truly unique, and Pagan feels it when Ajay comes. The absolute magic of it, lighting up every nerve, making him gasp and moan against Ajay's skin. Bliss.
He tries to be a gentleman about it. When he's clear enough, he strokes gently over Ajay's skin, lets a hand come up to stroke his hair as Pagan finally breaks the seal of his mouth over Ajay's throat. Nips a finger with a fang so he can use a drop of his own blood to close the wound before he puts his mouth there again, kissing now, murmuring sweet against Ajay's skin. ]
Beautiful boy. Oh, my dear. You were wonderful.
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but when he does? it's to pagan's arms around him, one hand stroking through his hair, murmuring sweet things against his throat. and that has a way of stretching those good feelings out -- gauzy now instead of burning brightly, floating pleasantly in the haze of afterglow. ]
Wow. Holy shit. [ even his voice sounds muzzy, like someone trying to come up from a long sleep. ] You do that to everyone?
[ it's a small wonder the entire country hasn't ripped itself apart just trying to get pagan to bite them. how does the golden path even recruit? ]
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